May Angels Lead You In
by WhatTheF-ckHaveYouDoneLately
Summary: 5x19 AU. Gabriel is dead and Castiel remains missing, but the Winchesters refuse to let them go. So when the two angels are suddenly brought back into their lives...things get complicated. Sam/Gabriel and Dean/Cas bromance, not slash. Lots of fluff.
1. I Never Said Thank You For That

**Author's Note:**

**This is my first SPN fan fic, so reviews are love! I am terribly sorry for any boringness/OOCness, I have a feeling I am going to suck at writing Supernatural. Anyways, back to the more important stuff. This story (if anyone even wants me to continue it haha) will be about my two favorite bromances: Sam/Gabriel and Dean/Cas. Lots of angst, lots of non-slashy fluff, that sort of thing. **

**This chapter is kind of a prologue of sorts, simply because I was very sad when Gabriel was killed in 5x19 :-(**** The beginning of the chapter is set directly after they leave the hotel with Kali. Next chapter will have more Dean/Cas. Quotes from the beginning and end are from Jimmy Eat World's "Hear You Me." The link to the video that inspired this fic is on my profile, my sister made the vid for me so I blame her for this story ;-) I have the next couple of chapters written if anyone wants me to post them.**

**Okay, on with the story now :D**

* * *

"_There's no one in town I know, you gave us someplace to go_

_I never said thank you for that, I thought I might get one more chance_

_What would you think of me now? So lucky, so strong, so proud._

_I never said thank you for that, now I'll never have a chance."_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

I stared out the window, finding the silence a little unnerving. Normally Dean had his ancient rock music playing, but no, not tonight. Kali sat silently in the back seat as we drove as far away as we could get. My older brother was uncharacteristically silent too, but I doubted it was for the same reasons I was. I was surprised to find that I felt regret. I didn't find it surprising that I _felt_ regret, it was what, or rather who, I felt regret _for_. In general I wasn't the type of person you could really call apathetic, but I never thought I would end up preoccupied with worry for someone that had destroyed my life over and over again. I closed my eyes and saw his image in my mind. Slicked back blond hair, hazel eyes…No, thinking of him didn't help. It only made me worry more, which made me question why I was worrying at all, which all just gave me a headache.

"Dean?"

"Yeah Sammy?" he asked.

"What do you think happened to Gabriel?"

He looked over at me for a brief moment before returning his eyes to the road. I didn't blame him for being surprised. Even I was a bit shocked to find myself using the archangel's real name, given that for a very long time, Dean and I had simply called him "The Trickster." But I didn't see him as that anymore. When I thought of him, no longer did I see the malicious demigod that had tormented Dean, me, and countless other people. I saw him for what he was. An angel. An archangel none the less. Fearsome, lethal…ancient.

When we had left the hotel with Kali in tow, I'd seen a completely different person reflected in his eyes. He'd held up his blade to Lucifer so we could escape, and as we'd left, my eyes had found his for the briefest of moments. That was when I saw not an immature, sugar addicted Trickster, but as one of _us_. Something real, something that _felt_. More than that, something that could make his own decisions. And oh had he made decisions. God only knows (_No pun intended,_ I thought wryly) what had happened to him by now. I kept expecting him to pop up in the backseat and come off with one of his usual quips, but we'd been on the road for the better part of an hour now and he was nowhere to be found.

"I think dear old Luci probably smited him," Dean answered with a smirk that said the thought wasn't exactly negative.

"Well you don't have to look so happy about it," I snapped. I didn't mean to, but it came out before I could stop it.

He groaned dramatically. "Oh come on, don't tell me you're actually _worried_ about his sorry ass."

My silence spoke volumes. He sighed irritably but resumed driving without saying another word. The longer I sat there, dwelling on the worry I didn't even know why I had, the more he frustrated me. Ever since Cas had disappeared without a trace, Dean had been worrying himself sick. Why was it so strange that I was worrying too? Okay so yes, Castiel had never killed Dean repeatedly for kicks and stuck us in TV land, but Gabriel had still been there for us when we needed him. Cutting it a little close maybe, but at least he'd been there.

"_Better late than never." _The archangel's words echoed in my mind as I looked over at my brother again. I recognized the distant, faraway look haunting his eyes. He was thinking about Castiel again. I had come to know that look, given that it had darkened his features frequently since our friend had gone missing. He was always closer to Dean, but he'd been my friend too. But Castiel was loyal, trustable. The more I thought about it, the less sense my worry over Gabriel made. A little worried was one thing, but I was worrying to the point of going out of my head with it.

_Maybe it's because you can relate to him, _a voice in the back of my mind whispered. _He's done things, terrible things that no one may ever forgive him for, but in the end he still fought the good fight. Maybe all he wanted was redemption for all he's done. Sound familiar? _that voice continued to taunt. I tried to ignore the logic of it but knew that was six kinds of useless. I'd hit the nail on the head and I knew it. No point in denying it.

"So while we're talking about missing angels…" Dean started out of nowhere.

I sighed. "Let me guess. You're trying to figure out how to find out what happened to Castiel?"

"Can you blame me?" he shot back. "He lost _everything_ for us. He rebelled against Heaven, he very possibly _died_ for us. How could I not worry?"

I raised my eyebrows at the sudden defensiveness. Okay, so yeah, the angel was a pretty touchy subject. When Dean started caring about someone, he also started getting defensive. He'd become extremely good friends with Castiel, who would forever be "Cas" to Dean, and he defended the angel even when it wasn't necessary. Just like he would do for me. Even though the end of his sentence was technically a question, the way he turned his attention back to the road implied it was rhetorical. We drove on in silence, my thoughts occupied by one angel, his thoughts occupied by another.

* * *

"I wonder where Kali got off to," Dean said the next morning, yawning and stretching like a cat.

Not risking any more hotels, we'd slept in the Impala, only to find Kali gone when we woke up. _Probably thought she was too good to sleep in a car with humans, _I mused bitterly. My thoughts were still clouded with sleep as I got out of the car and looked out at the thoroughly unimpressive landscape. We were somewhere that no one would find us, or as Dean would put it, smack dab in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere. Honestly I couldn't tell you where we were if I tried.

I'd fallen asleep soon after mine and Dean's brief conversation, and I had been plagued by nightmares. I hated myself for even considering them nightmares since I would have once considered the images in my sleep relieving, but I'd woken up physically sick by the terrible dream that had repeated itself all night. Gabriel laying dead on the floor of the motel we'd left him at, his massive wings burned into the ground below him.

"So, let's see what our little gift is," Dean said, pulling a DVD case out of the dash.

I involuntarily winced at the sight of it. I remembered Gabriel shoving it into Dean's hands and telling him to guard it with his life. An unintentional sigh of exasperation escaped my lips when I saw the title. Casa Erotica 13. Of all the things he could have left us, it was _porn_? I tried to be annoyed but honestly it was just such typical Gabriel behavior that I couldn't really be upset about it. With everything that had been going on with Lucifer and the Apocalypse lately, I actually almost found it funny. _Almost_. Simply because I really shouldn't be finding anything funny with it being the end of the world and all that.

We used my laptop to play the disc, and I wanted to bang my head into the top of the Impala when Gabriel started vigorously making out with the blond girl in the video. Way more than I ever needed to see. I silently wished he would just get to the damn point already, but when he finally did get to the point, I found myself regretting that wish. I never wanted to hear the six words he spoke, they confirmed my worst fears. I responded to them only with a small raising of the eyebrows, but internally, I felt like someone had twisted a knife in my gut. The words continued to ring out in my head long after they were spoken.

"If you're watching this, I'm dead."

"_May angels lead you in, hear you me my friends_

_On sleepless roads the sleepless go, may angels lead you in."_


	2. Another Memory Passes Of You

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you so much to everyone that has reviewed so far! I really love reading your reviews and hope you stick with me, you're awesome :D Lyrics from beginning and end are from Beautiful Girl by Broken Iris.**

**Over and out!**

"_Woke today, another memory passes of you_

_Shades of gray from those three broken words that unfold the truth, but_

_I'll never forget those eyes, that beautiful smile_

_No matter how hard I try, I can't forget about…"_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

After we watched the very disturbing remake of Casa Erotica, I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Cas' reaction to it. He would probably cock his head to the side in confusion. It was a little mannerism I hadn't even known how much I liked until I started missing it. I remember that first night in the barn, it was the first but definitely not the last time I'd seen him tilt his head that way. I didn't know how someone so fearsome and dangerous could look so confused and innocent, but he managed to pull it off. Pulled it off without even trying, for that matter.

The happy memories gave way to the worse ones…which gave way to the hollow gap I'd felt ever since he'd disappeared without a trace. A vivid image of the short look we'd shared before he'd gone missing haunted me. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to think of something else. I managed, if only briefly before my thoughts returned to Cas.

Once we were back on the road, I realized I wasn't as happy about The Trickster being dead as I probably should be. I wasn't exactly angry or sad he was dead, but part of me sympathized with him a little. His brother, whom he'd loved, had betrayed him. Yeah, I could relate to that pretty well. I loved Sammy more than life itself, but I would never be able to erase the image of him abandoning me for Ruby from my mind. I'd pretty much forgiven him for it, but still, it hurt. I looked over at him as he stared blankly out the window. I'd asked him if he wanted to talk, but he'd just shot me Sam Winchester Bitchface #17. It translated to "I don't want to talk about it, leave me alone or I'll snap your head off for no good reason." I didn't ask again, simply because I knew better than to mess with the wrath of Bitchface #17 and I wasn't really one for heart to heart talks anyway.

I turned the radio on, but for once, AC/DC's "Back In Black" didn't clear my head like it usually did. I was still worried about Cas and what had happened to him. It wasn't just because we needed his help, but because he was my _friend_, damn it. He was a holy tax accountant, a little nerdy dude with wings, a virgin…yeah, he was a lot of things, but he was _Cas_. Just like he'd told me once; He'd killed two angels, his brothers. He was hunted, he'd rebelled, and he'd done it, all of it, for me. _And look where that got him. You might of gotten his feathery ass fried extra crispy, _I thought darkly.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget him, couldn't move on. I sounded like more of a girl than Sam did, but I missed the head tilting that reminded me of a puppy, and the ever present trench coat, and the struggles with cell phones because the voice said he was almost out of minutes, and the little things as simple as holding an FBI badge upside down. They were tiny little features, but combined, they formed one hell of a friend. A friend that was possibly dead because of me, a friend that I hadn't even gotten a chance to apologize for because I almost said yes to Michael. I would have said yes to Michael had it not been for Cas. My cell phone started ringing, which sucked me into an all too vivid memory of the angel.

"_Come on Cas, let's go fix your phone," I said as we pulled up in front of Wal-Mart._

_I hated these cheesy department stores, but he was worried because the voice kept telling him he was almost out of minutes. He'd saved my pretty little ass from Zachariah, so I figured taking him to get more minutes for his phone was the least I could do. I made a mental note to get him something more than the pathetic little pre-paid cell phone he had whenever this whole end of the world business was over. I added that to my mental to-do list, which currently consisted of lots of pie, lots of women, and a new cell phone for Cas._

"_Excuse me miss," I said to the woman working in electronics, who was chattering away with another worker._

_She turned around, blond hair bobbing around her shoulders. "Hi! How can I help you?"_

"_The depends, when do you get off?" I asked flirtatiously._

"_How about you call me later?" she flirted back, taking a pen and writing her number on the top of my hand._

"_Will do," I said._

_Cas cleared his throat, and both the blond (Georgia, according to her nametag) and I looked over at him. I'd slightly forgotten he was standing there. Oops. He pulled his cell phone from a pocket of his trench coat and laid it on the counter, looking as bored and deadpan as always. I knew what was coming before he even said it, and sure enough, I was exactly right._

"_The voice says I'm almost out of minutes," he told little miss Hot n' Blond._

_She quirked an eyebrow. "Which probably means you need more?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Right this way," she said, looking like it was taking every inch of self restraint not to roll her eyes._

_We got back out to the car, and his phone was now loaded down with more minutes that he'd probably ever even use. He hit a few buttons and the raised it to his ear, smiling just slightly, which was rare for him. It was a tiny smile, but it was there. He tucked the phone back into his coat and glanced over, noticing my questioning look as I cranked the Impala and pulled out of the parking lot._

"_The voice isn't telling me I'm almost out of minutes," he said in response to my Sam worthy brood._

_I laughed. "That's good Cas."_

_Later, I took a piece of hotel stationary and started making a list. My handwriting was scrawled and loose but decipherable. Cas had disappeared as usual, but not before thanking me for putting minutes on his phone. It was brief, but I knew he meant it. Such little things pleased him. I couldn't help but admire how he found pleasure in such small things, and how uncomplicated he was. Now that he wasn't Heaven's feathery bitch anymore, he was pretty damn fun to be around. I finally returned my attention to my list._

_Things to do after we stop the freaking Apocalypse:_

_1) Eat pie. Lots of pie._

_2) Women._

_3) Speaking of women, get poor Cas laid. Being a virgin must really suck. We'll just make sure her name isn't Chastity and her father doesn't work at the post office…bad memories._

_4) Get Cas a cell phone that won't tell him he's almost out of minutes._

_5) Go out for drinks with Sammy, Bobby and Cas, just because we'll have saved the world and God knows (pun definitely intended) we'll deserve it._

_6) Eat more pie._

"Dean?"

I snapped out of my reverie when Sam said my name. Apparently it wasn't the first time, because he was staring at me like I'd grown two heads and a miniskirt. I then realized my cell phone was still ringing. Putting the phone to my ear after reading the caller ID and seeing it was Bobby, I asked a gruff "What?"

"Well that's no polite way to answer a phone," he replied.

"Whatcha need Bobby?" I asked, trying not to snap.

"I think I've got a lead on Pestilence."

"Super," I sighed. "Okay, so you have a lead on The Head Cold Horseman. Care to share with the class?"

"Sam should have a text message with the coordinates of a hotel nearby the area. About fifteen people, who were all in excellent health, all came down with some form of cancer."

"Since when can you text?" I asked.

"That idjit brother of yours showed me."

"Right. Well thanks chuckles, we can take it from here." I said that and hung up, instructing Sam to check his phone for a text message. Sure enough, he had a set of coordinates waiting.

"Awesome, let's go catch us one of Hell's little bitches," I grinned.

Sam rolled his eyes and read off the coordinates, and we later found ourselves in some hole in the wall town in Michigan. Couldn't work ever take us to Vegas or something? It would be a hell of a lot better than getting stuck in towns so small that they don't even warrant their own spot on the map. The sight of the hotel we needed tore my attention from my mental complaining, and I was actually glad to see it was more of a crappy motel that anything like the swanky hotel where all Hell had broken loose. Not literally, but you get what I mean. I dialed Bobby to let him know we'd gotten here.

"Hey Bobby, we got the coordinates and we're there now."

"What coordinates?" he asked in a voice that seemed to contain genuine confusion.

"The ones you sent us. Duh."

"I didn't send you no coordinates, boy."

I snapped the phone shut, knowing it was abrupt but currently finding myself unable to care. If he hadn't sent us the coordinates…then who did? I hurriedly explained the brief conversation to Sam, who's eyebrows lifted in confusion. We shared a look that silently said _Oh, crap. _So odds are, whoever had sent us these coordinates was in that motel. Though I'd had enough mishaps with motels/hotels for a lifetime, we had to know who'd baited us to come here. It couldn't be more of an obvious trap.

We walked in, only to find the entire place deserted. We paced the halls, and one door hung open. A clear invitation I felt was intended for us. Pulling our weapons from where they were tucked into our belts, we cautiously walked in, prepared for the worst. The worst was definitely not what we found. I knew the dark figure standing in the dimly lit room before he even spoke. I knew the tousled hair, the way he stood…I knew him immediately. Sam wasn't as familiar with the shape as I was, and I pushed the end of his rifle down as he raised it to shoot. The man, technically angel, stepped forward into the light.

"Hello, Dean."

My voice came out slightly cracked with happiness and relief. "Hey, Cas."

"_Don't fall down_

_Because an angel should never touch ground."_


	3. Back To What Was Never Said

**Author's Note:**

**Hello again! Thank you so so so much for all the awesome feedback! I have gotten a few reviews along with several story alert/favorite story messages, so I am outright thrilled! A few reviews and story alerts may not mean much to most people, but this is my first SPN story and no one has said they absolutely hate it yet, so I am rather happy :D My biggest challenge with writing it so far is the OOCness, but I promise I will try to get better at writing the characters! The lyrics from beginning and end are from Take Me Away by Avril Lavigne.**

**Okay, all done with the babble fest now :-)**

* * *

"_All the pain I thought I knew_

_All the thoughts lead back to you_

_Back to what was never said, back and forth inside my head."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"You're…I thought…" I made a failed and feeble attempt at speech.

Cas waited patiently, but I finally realized I didn't need to speak. Taking both of us by surprise, I walked over and folded my arms around him. He was stiff for only a brief moment before he returned the embrace. His body felt too thin in my arms, and I made a mental note to check him over and make sure he was okay once I let him go. At the moment though, that was the last thing I wanted. I was well aware I was acting like even more of a girl than Sam usually did which was saying something, but after driving myself insane with worry for so long, feeling Cas so solid and whole and _alive_…well, it was a nice change from worrying.

I tightened my grip, remembering when I'd come back from Hell and held Sam in a way very similar to this one. I also recalled something Bobby had once said. _Family don't end in blood, boy. _Damn straight, Bobby. Damn straight. If I'd ever denied what Cas meant to me, I was done now. He was more than a friend; Castiel was _family_. As if Sammy wasn't hard enough to handle, now I'd went and starting thinking of an Angel of the freaking Lord as yet another brother. An angelic brother that seemed permanently wearing a trench coat, but still a brother.

Sam didn't clear his throat or calls us chicks, which is exactly what I would have done, he just stood there and looked at us with a soft affection coloring his features. Our eyes met briefly over Cas' shoulder before I totally gave in to this chick flick moment and buried my face in the angel's shoulder. Partly because I wanted to and partly because I didn't want to have to look Sam in the eyes when I finally sprouted a blond wig and some high heels. With the way I was behaving right now it wouldn't be all that much of a shock.

After I'd almost said yes to Michael and he'd beat the hell out of me in an alleyway, we still had a lot to say to each other, but we would get around to it. I hadn't slept much lately, I was dealing with the end of the world, so I figured a little weirdness was acceptable. The embrace lasted longer than it was meant to. The hands on my back held me in a tight grip, suggesting he was as reluctant to let go as I was.

Finally though, I released him. His hands slid off my shoulder blades as I pulled my arms back and stepped away. Okay…awkward. We stared at each other for several moments before Sam mercifully broke the silence.

"What happened to you?" he asked Cas.

"I don't know. I banished the angels and then I woke up here. With this," he added, motioning to his back.

"What's 'this'?" I asked, relief turning into concern.

"I would have came and found the two of you, but I didn't have the…"

"Mojo?" I supplied as he fumbled for a word.

"Yes. I found myself unable to use my preferred means of transportation."

"So let me guess. Since you couldn't just pop in, you called us, imitated Bobby, and brought us here?" Sam asked.

"Correct."

"Why didn't you just call as you instead of Bobby? Oh and you never answered me, so what's 'this'?" I questioned.

"The other angels currently do not know I am back, and until I know _how_ I am back, I believe it is best we keep it that way. That is why I brought you here under false pretenses. The injury I was referring to was there when I awoke," he explained.

"Injury?" I repeated worriedly.

"It's nothing to worry about, it will mend as soon as my strength returns," he said calmly.

"Let us see it Cas," I demanded. Sam nodded his agreement.

The angel sighed quietly before removing his coat, loosening his tie, unbuttoning his shirt, and dropping all three garments to the floor. There was the faintest trace of the angel banishing sigil on his chest, the mostly faded blood standing out against the pale skin. _So that was how he banished the angels, _I thought. Pretty smart thinking. I made a mental note to remember that if I ever needed to hide a sigil without anyone knowing.

When he turned around with his back to us, I saw what he had been hiding. Oh my Castiel's Dad (Or God, whichever way you want to put it). Two gashes marred either side of his spine, caked with dried blood. They both looked about eight inches long, give or take. Dark bruises surrounded the wounds. Sam left to go find some towels so he could dampen them and clean up the dried blood, and I walked over to inspect them more closely. I traced the outer edges, careful not to touch the wounds or bruises. A sudden image of when we had first met resurfaced. Him showing me his wings, and the closer I looked and the harder I thought, the more I realized that the gashes were exactly where his wings would connect to his back.

"Cas…" I whispered.

"My wings are still attached," he said as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. "That was one of the first things I made sure of when I woke up. They were bloody, but intact."

"Good," I nodded.

Sam and I cleaned the wound, and it didn't hurt Cas too bad since while his powers were pretty shaky, he was still an angel with one hell of a pain tolerance. We exchanged a worried look as soon as we were finished, a silent communication of shared worry. None of this made any sense. Cas was back. Someone had seemingly tried to rip his wings out from the root. He didn't know _how_ he was back. I was sorely tempted to take a Sharpie and write "WTF" on my forehead.

"What now?" Sam asked.

"We should try to find whatever it is that attempted to rip out my grace," Cas said.

"I thought he tried to rip out your wings?" Sam said confusedly, cocking his head in a way that said he'd been hanging around Cas _way_ too much.

"When the wings are ripped from an angel, it takes their grace with them."

"Awesome," I commented sarcastically.

"Dean, I will need your help with the ritual," he said, turning to me.

"What do you want me to do?" I responded cautiously.

"It's surprisingly simple, compared to the rituals more common to angels. I will need you to insert something in the wound to obtain whatever DNA was left behind. Rather it be human, demon, or angel, their body or vessel would have left behind some trace of identification. If it is human, which I sincerely doubt it is, then it will be very easy. If it is from the vessel of an angel or demon, then we use to track said vessel and hope that the angel or demon is still in it. It's actually more of a human ritual than an angelic one."

I saw right through the seemingly foolproof plan. "And odds are it's going to be a hell of a lot more complicated then that, isn't it?"

He sighed. "Most likely. But as of currently, we should find Pestilence. I was not giving you false information when I told you about the deaths."

"You've been missing since before we found out what the rings could do…how did you know we were looking for the Horsemen?" Sam asked.

I almost grinned like a total fool at Cas' reaction. It was that head tilt, the patented Castiel head tilt. The small furrowing of the brow, the way he cocked his head to the side.

"The same way I assumed the two of you knew to look for them."

Sam and I shared yet another WTF look. "We were given that information through a DVD given to us by a dead archangel," Sam said.

Cas looked, for lack of a better way to put it, like a kicked puppy. When he spoke it was how I would sound if someone told me Sammy was dead. "Gabriel is dead?"

I put a hand on his shoulder, trying to be sympathetic. I knew Cas and Gabriel hadn't exactly been the best of pals, but they were still brothers. I noticed that even Sam's eyes looked a bit grieved at the mention of the dead Trickster. Technically he was Gabriel, but I would always look at him as the Trickster. Cas shook his head confusedly, and I gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"I just don't understand how he could be dead…"

"Lucifer killed him," Sam said.

Cas turned his attention to my brother. "Why? I just saw Gabriel this morning and he was fine."

"I honestly don't know-" I cut myself off, snapping my mouth shut. This morning? What?

"You saw him this _morning_?" Sam asked quickly, voicing the thoughts I was too shocked to get out.

Cas nodded. "Yes. He was alive and well."

"_I can't handle this confusion, I'm unable_

_Come and take me away."_


	4. Give Me a Chance To Miss You

**Author's Note:**

**I promise that the plotless fluff/angst is explained in the next couple chapters, but please hang in there until then, I really am trying to get better at this! Song lyrics are from Leave Me Alone by Pink.**

** Review and you can have J2 with wrapped up with a bow on top ;-)**

* * *

"_Go away, give me a chance to miss you_

_Say goodbye."_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"Gabriel's alive?" I said so fast I nearly got tongue tied.

I'd thought there was no hope, that he was gone for good. The advice he had once given me had occurred many times. _Sometimes you just gotta let people go…_I still remembered him saying those words. I hadn't been able to follow the advice then and I wasn't following it now. Ever since his death had been confirmed through that video, I'd been irrationally grieving him. He'd done so much to us, but still I hadn't been able to hate him. I couldn't get past the fact he'd died for us. For _humans_. He'd contradicted everything the angels (excluding Castiel) stood for. Trickster or no Trickster that had to count for something.

"That I am presently aware of. I visited with him this morning," Castiel explained.

"Where is he?" Dean asked, all the while studying his friend worriedly, who had visibly lost a lot of weight since we'd last seen him.

It was hard to see him properly under the bulky trench coat he normally wore, but now that he was stripped from the waist up, we could practically count his ribs. The mental list of questions I had was growing more and more by the minute. What had happened to Cas? Who had brought him back and tried to rip his wings out? What had happened with Gabriel? But currently, as I went through all this in my head, there was one very important question that stood out from the rest: Where the hell was the Tylenol? I felt a serious headache coming on.

"Not far from here, but lying low for the time being. I can take us there once I've regained my strength."

"We should call Bobby, see what he can scrounge up about all this," Dean suggested.

I nodded. "I don't think we can get signal in here, so you go outside and call him, I'm going to see what I can find on the Internet," I said, pulling my computer out of its case and sitting it on the small table.

I focused my attention on the web pages I scrolled through, searching for an answer and finding none. Cas, the only other person in the room, was sliding his shirt back on, heedless of the bloodstains. Had I not been looking over at him and been a naturally perceptive person, I wouldn't have noticed the way he fumbled with the buttons. His fingers trembled slightly as he worked. I walked over and sat down next to him, but he didn't respond to my presence.

"Cas, are you okay?" I asked.

He looked up at the sound of his nickname. "I am fine, Sam."

"No you're not. You're shaking, you're paler than usual…what's wrong?" I asked.

When he turned away, the light given off by the only lamp in the room illuminated what I hadn't seen before. On top of the paleness and trembling, dark circles ringed his eyes like they would on a human that needed sleep. But that wasn't possible, because even though his powers were weakened, he was still very much an angel. The closer I inspected him, the worse he looked. Dean would throw a royal fit once he saw just how bad off Castiel was. Probably threaten to beat the living Hell out of whoever had done this, knowing him.

"I do not know what happened. I woke up this way," Cas finally admitted. "Gabriel is in the same shape I am."

I repressed the flicker of worry that his words sparked. "Did someone try to tear his wings out too?"

"Tried and failed, just as they did with me. His back bears the same marks mine do."

"Where is he? We'll take the Impala if you're not strong enough to just zap us there."

"An abandoned home approximately twenty-eight miles from here. I will give you directions as we go."

"Give us directions to where?" asked Dean, who'd walked in on the very end of the conversation.

"To where Gabriel is. We should ask him if he remembers anything more than Cas does," I said, getting to my feet.

"Okay, let's go."

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Cas, finish getting dressed," I said over my shoulder as I walked out.

"I've tried," I heard him murmur under his breath. It was very low as if I wasn't meant to hear it.

"What do you mean?" I asked, turning around. Sam was waiting in the car, but I wanted to know what he was talking about.

"I am not sure what happened when I woke up, but I am in a very…weak state."

He motioned to himself for emphasis, and I then realized just how much of a "weak state" he was in. Pale, thin, looked like a human that hadn't slept in a few days. Weak state my ass. He looked like he was ready to fall over, more like it. I immediately walked over and knelt down in front of him where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, easily buttoning the shirt and helping him into his coat. I was in big brother caretaker mode, which had once been reserved solely for Sammy and now included Cas.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked.

"I will be fine soon, I am sure of it," he said, rising to his feet.

He swayed uneasily before his knees seemed to buckle underneath him, but thankfully I was on my feet and able to catch him. He limply collapsed forward, and I hooked an arm around his waist to keep him upright. He was conscious, though he didn't seem to be able to keep his feet under him by himself. I realized with a sinking feeling that he wasn't getting better, he was getting _worse_. He hadn't been this bad off when Sam and I had first shown up. I readjusted us so my arm was still holding him up but he was leaned into my side so I could walk.

It wasn't all that easy because of the compromising position we were in, but finally I got us out to the Impala. I opened the and laid him out on the backseat before getting into the driver's side. Sam looked back at the weakened angel with concern before giving me a questioning glance. I had been around him long enough to know what that meant. _Is he okay?_

I gave a worried half shrug and pulled out onto the road. "Okay Cas, where to first?"

He gave us directions on how to get to Gabriel from the backseat, his voice sounding even more cracked and uneven than usual, which was saying something. I glanced back at him frequently as we drove. By the time we finally got to where Gabriel was staying, the angel was sound asleep, sprawled out on the seat. Sam stared at the abandoned house before us like it might bite. I was about to ask if he'd suddenly developed a phobia for crappy houses with overgrown lawns and then remembered how badly he'd reacted to Gabriel's death. He'd kept his mouth shut when I'd given in to the immature impulse to hug Cas back at the motel, so I bit back the usual sarcastic comment and decided to let his nervous expression slide. Now we were even.

"Should we wake Cas up?" he asked.

"His wings almost got torn out of his back. I don't think it's exactly safe to leave him alone, even if it's just for a minute," I said, getting out and then opening the back door.

I gently nudged his shoulder, which didn't do a lick of good. He slept on. I gently whispered his name, not wanting to startle him. Startling Sammy awake sometimes resulted in pain, I didn't think doing the same to an angel would turn out very well either. I nudged his shoulder a tiny bit harder, and he finally opened his eyes. Rather it was the exhaustion I saw there or the awful shape he was in physically, I came to terms with just how fragile he was right now.

"C'mon Sleeping Beauty, we're here," I said, and he nodded drowsily before tumbling out of the car.

He managed to walk without being practically drug this time, but I still kept a hand wrapped around his arm to steady him. Sam walked ahead of us, not seeming to know what to feel more prominently; Eagerness or nervousness. I watched his shoulders tense and relax as he took a deep breath and then knocked on the door. Apparently Gabrel had been expecting us, because it was only a brief moment before he opened the door. I felt my eyebrows raise at the sight of him.

There he was, alive and well. His eyes were bright and glittering, his blond hair was pulled back away from his face, and he was grinning like it was just another Tuesday. My jaw hung open at the sight. The Trickster looked between the three of us, a chocolate bar appearing in his left hand as he happily took a bite of it. Obviously his powers hadn't been weakened like Cas' had.

"Well? Are you chuckleheads just going to stand there or are you going to come in?"

Wow. Just when I thought life couldn't get any more jacked up.

"_Go away, come back_

_Go away, come back_

_Why can't I just have it both ways?"_


	5. Fall, With You I Fall So Fast

**Author's Note:**

**Warning: OOCness and fluffiness overload ahead! I have been wanting to write SPN fluff forever, so it is coming out in very out of place spurts. My apologies! If anyone has any certain scenes they want written or characters they want to make a reappearance let me know, I love taking scene requests and bringing characters back :D Lyrics from beginning and end are from Pieces of Me by Ashlee Simpson.**

**Now, on with the chapter :-)**

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"_Fall, with you I fall so fast._

_I can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts."_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

I breathed in deeply to try to restore my shaky breathing. I still knew how insane it was that I'd worried for Gabriel and grieved him, but the relief I felt at seeing him alive was unbelievable. I didn't want to admit it, but I'd missed him. Just a little. I still hadn't been able to deny how much I could relate to him. He'd killed people, I'd started the Apocalypse…yeah, we both needed a lot of forgiving.

"Welcome, boys. Yes this place is a piece of crap, but I am flying under the radar until we figure out who so kindly brought my wonderful self back to life," Gabriel said as he walked into the small living room with us at his heels.

I heard Dean scoff at the "wonderful self" bit. The snarky comment probably waiting on his lips was delayed because he had to lay Castiel out on the couch, the angel limply falling out of my brother's grip and onto the cushions. Before Dean could do anything else, Gabriel shooed him out of the way and knelt down next to Cas, a worried expression painting his features that vividly reminded me of Dean when he got worried about me. I had never even considered the fact Gabriel might look at Cas the same way Dean looked at me, but the way he hovered over the younger angel spoke volumes.

"I'm fine Gabriel," Castiel whispered hoarsely.

"No you're not. I think your grace was damaged when whoever brought us back tried to rip your wings out," he said, hazel eyes clouded with worry.

His younger brother went to say something, but then the bright blue eyes slipped shut as he unwillingly succumbed the exhaustion that had seemed to have been plaguing him since we left the motel. Gabriel gently smoothed the dark, tousled hair away from Castiel's face, looking every inch the protective big brother. If I'd ever doubted it before, I definitely knew I couldn't hate him anymore. Not when he was reminding me so much of my own brother.

"Is he going to be okay?" Dean asked, sitting down at the end of the couch and looking at Cas with a concern to rival Gabriel's.

"Not if we can't figure out how to fix his grace," the archangel replied in a rare state of seriousness.

"Fix?" I repeated.

"Yes, fix. The damage done to him…it's killing him." The last three words were spoken with more emotion in them than I think he meant to express.

"Oh when I get my hands on the bastard that did this to Cas…" Dean hissed, jumping to his feet, fury darkening his eyes.

"You can have what's left when I'm finished," Gabriel growled in a similar tone.

"I'll take whatever's left when you two fare done," I said.

The three of us all looked at each other, our previous conflicting interests erased by our joint fear for Cas. He was like a brother to all three of us. All the joking humor had drained from both Dean and Gabriel's eyes, leaving behind two people that looked like they wanted to go rip someone's throats out for revenge. At the moment I would more than happily accompany them. Mess with me, fine. But my family, blood related or not? I don't think so.

"I can figure out who did this," Gabriel said, undoing the buttons on Cas' shirt.

"How?" I asked.

"It will put him in excruciating pain, but I can read him with my powers to see the traces left behind by what did this. No matter what did it, they'll have left some kind of mark behind."

"Just be careful," Dean growled.

The only response he got was an eye roll before Gabriel pulled off his jacket and rolled his sleeve up. He looked about as happy at having to do this as Dean did. He and I winced in unison when the archangel shoved his hand into his younger brother. I thought Dean was going to explode when Castiel started screaming, and ignoring Gabriel's protest, ran to the angel's side and tried desperately to soothe him.

It made me fondly recall when I'd been six and broke my ankle, he'd whispered and murmured to me in the same calming tone. I decided if we ever got Cas some official means of identification that we might as well put his last name as Winchester. Castiel. "Cas" Winchester. It actually sounded pretty good.

"I've got it," Gabriel said, pulling his hand out and leaving Cas panting with pain and exhaustion.

"Who is it?" I asked since Dean was too busy fussing over Castiel.

"No one I know personally, but I do happen to know he's one of Michael's errand boys," he said as we walked into the kitchen so Dean and Cas could have some space.

"Heaven has errand boys?" I scoffed.

"Certain archangels have younger angels do their dirty work," he explained, hopping up on the counter.

"Michael had this done to Cas? And you, for that matter?"

Disbelief colored my tone as I leaned against the table. It was hard to find any surface that wasn't covered in cakes or pies or some form of sugar. Some of the pies would make Dean drool shamelessly. Gabriel was silent, so I looked around, brushing a lock of my hair out of my eyes when it fell forwards. Dean was constantly hounding me to get a haircut. I figured I probably should, but that was the last thing to be worried about right now. We were a little too busy trying to save the world to go out and get a haircut. I could always let him cut it, but I would actually like to have some hair left when it was over, so he was out of the question.

"Hungry?" Gabriel asked, tossing a candy bar in my direction and smiling amusedly when I caught it in midair.

"What is this?" I asked, studying the large, silver wrapped bar.

He took a bite of his own and sighed happily. "Belgian chocolate. Heavenly, isn't it?" he asked, and I rolled my eyes at the bad and clearly intentional pun.

"When are we going after the angel that did this to you and Cas?" I asked, toying with the wrapper on the chocolate bar.

He shrugged. "You two are the hunters, not me."

I had to remind myself that for once I could make the call. I wasn't talking to Dean, who always gave the orders. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was just after two in the morning. We'd been here a lot longer than I'd thought. When I returned my attention to the archangel sitting on the counter, his head was leaned back against the cabinet behind him and his eyes were closed. He seemed to be more affected by what had happened than I'd thought. At first it had seemed like nothing had gone wrong when he'd been brought back like it had with Castiel, but the closer I looked, the more I saw signs of fatigue. I decided to just let him sleep. There wasn't really anything to talk about anyway.

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

Castiel looked like Hell, no pun intended. His hair was more of a mess than usual and his formerly bright eyes were glazed over with pain and tiredness. He shook his head weakly in response. Whatever Gabriel had done to him combined with what else had already been wrong seemed to have left him fairly out of his right mind. He hadn't been acting like himself at all. I was knelt down beside him, and the sounds of talking that had been coming from the kitchen were silent, so I guessed either Sam, Gabriel or both had fallen asleep.

"Well yell if you need anything," I said, getting to my feet and turning to leave.

I felt fingers shakily catch my wrist in a fragile hold. When I looked down I saw Cas peering up at me with nervous blue eyes. Nervousness, yet another new emotion that seemed to be a side effect of all this. Once I got a hold of what had done this, whatever it was would wish they'd never been born. I'd originally intended on following Gabriel into the kitchen to ask who'd done this, but I'd also been reluctant to leave Cas.

"Stay," he choked out, much to my surprise.

"Um, okay," I said uncomfortably.

I sat down at the other end of the couch, gently resting one hand on his ankle to assure him I was here as he dozed back off. He looked so young, so innocent as he slept. I remembered the apathetic, war hardened soldier I'd first met in the barn, and I couldn't see a trace of that Cas in this one. The damage to his grace seemed to have stripped him down to the bare foundations of who he was, leaving behind a confused and vulnerable angel in place of the Castiel I'd come to know. His chest rose and fell in a very human way, and the fact he was sleeping at all was frightening in itself. As I too drifted off, I mentally made a promise.

I would protect him, no matter what.

"_Oh, it seems like I can finally rest my head on something real_

_I like the way that feels_

_Oh, it's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself_

_I love how you can tell_

_All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me."_


	6. I'm Dying To Catch My Breath

**Author's Note:**

**Hey everyone! Fluff and some minor Trickster pranks ahead, so be prepared! It's been forever since I wrote a fun fic, so this chapter is mainly lots of fun and fluff, brotherly fluff but still fluff nonetheless :D I am a hopeless lover of sickly sweet Dean and Cas scenes for the most part, so consider yourself warned. The end scene is a result of my strange fetish with Castiel's wings and the fact I've always wanted to write a non-slash Dean/Cas/Wings scene. Lyrics are from All I Need by Within Temptation.**

***offers you Cas with whipped cream and a cherry on top* Review please?**

**P.S. I would like to dedicate this chapter to Susangel, who is one of the most amazing reviewers ever! Per her request, Bobby will be showing up in a couple of chapters, so be ready for lots of father/son fluff :D**

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"_I'm dying to catch my breath, oh why don't I ever learn?_

_I've lost all my trust though I've surely tried to turn it around_

_Can you still see the heart of me?"_

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

I jolted awake and promptly fell off the counter, which is where I'd fallen asleep. All six foot and four inches of Sam was sprawled out asleep on the floor. I stepped over him and walked out into the living room, wanting to bang my head into the wall when I saw Dean and my brother. Dean was asleep sitting up, and at some point Castiel had curled up next to him, his head leaned against the hunter's shoulder. They looked like a messed up version of a Hallmark card. I could not believe this. My brother -my soldier, warrior of Heaven brother - was _cuddling_. With a hunter that had the IQ of a root vegetable. I was going to need something a lot stronger than chocolate by the time this day was over, I felt sure of it.

"What time is it?" Sam mumbled sleepily as he walked in, hair mussed and disheveled with sleep.

"Half past I think I should have stayed dead," I quipped, staring at the spineless, girly thing that had invaded my brother's body.

I could almost _hear_ the eye roll he responded with. I looked over at the clock on the wall that wasn't really noticeable unless you knew it was there and informed him it was just before twelve in the afternoon, and he gave a quick nod of thanks before disappearing upstairs. To find a shower, presumably. I walked over to the old radio in the corner and manifested a CD, popping it in and then blaring Taylor Swift loud enough to practically shake the windows. The little blond chick got on my nerves, but her music was awesome for wake-up calls.

Dean and Castiel both jolted awake, the former having to grab the latter's arm to keep him from falling off the couch. Cas fell back and his head landed on Dean's leg, both blue and green eyes glaring at me in annoyance. Dean pulled my brother's blade out of the waistband of his dress slacks and threw it at me with what I had to admit was a very good aim. I grinned and ducked out of the way, leaving the dagger to lodge itself in the wall. I waved at Sam when he came downstairs, seemingly having briefly abandoned his search of a shower in favor of inspecting the commotion. He looked around, taking in the scene.

I was ducked down, a knife was lodged into the wall above my head, my little brother was falling back asleep with his head in Dean's lap, and Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" was playing loud enough to make any human's head hurt.

"Once a Trickster always a Trickster," I shrugged at his questioning look.

He sighed before walking over to the coffee table, which is where he'd left his laptop last night. He furrowed his brow confusedly when it was absent. I smiled and held it up, taking off when he came at me. I couldn't make everyone's life Hell and leave little Sammy out, that just wouldn't be fair. In spite of running, it wasn't long before he had me tackled to the floor.

He was six foot four and I was just this side of vertically challenged, so he had a totally unfair advantage. I tried to wiggle out from under him, but he finally got his laptop back. I laughed hysterically as he got to his feet. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to get up, but I was content to lay there on the floor after a lovely morning of wreaking havoc.

"Gabriel, if you _ever_ take my laptop again, I swear that you will be the only archangel to die twice," he warned.

"I'll keep that in mind, kiddo," I said, folding my hands under my head and grinning up at him mischievously. Just wait until the itching powder in his underwear kicked in.

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Cas, do you mind if Sammy and I kill your brother?" I asked, yawning. He glanced up from where he was half asleep with his head on my leg.

"Yes, Dean."

"Aw, why?" I replied with a fake pout.

"He is my brother."

"He's an immature, petty-"

"Assbutt?" he offered.

"Dude, what kind of word is that?"

"I thought it was a human term" he said before pulling himself into a sitting position. He fidgeted uncomfortably as he did so. It didn't seem to be with though, which confused me.

"You okay?"

"I am fine, my wings were disturbed when my grace was interfered with. When an angel is in their true form, the wings are naturally a part of them, but since I became earth bound I've taught myself to keep them hidden. They have been dormant for so long that they're now agitated."

"You're in a house with two hunters and an angel. Why can't you just let them out?" I shrugged. "Sammy has major issues with spiders and he's never looked at an electric razor or sausage the same way again since what Gabriel pulled at Mystery Spot, but as far as I know he doesn't have a feather phobia," I joked.

"I didn't consider that simply because it has been very long since I could make use of them without alarming humans that do not know what I am," he explained.

"Alright, well, go ahead," I said, getting to my feet and stretching.

I was glad to see that while he still looked like he'd been run over by a truck, he seemed to be feeling a little better. Hell, we could probably hook him up with some pajamas and chicken soup and he'd been good as new. Okay well realistically, probably not, but that had always worked for Sam. I was about to go into the kitchen and hunt down breakfast when I heard Cas make a small noise of pain, followed by a soft rustling sound I was unfamiliar with. I turned around and felt my jaw drop at what I saw.

His wings, just like when he had shown them to me at the barn, were…_awesome. _They were huge, somewhere just under twice his height, unfurling until they fanned out on either side of him. They were a deep matte black, the feathers looking like they'd be velvet soft to the touch. I heard a quiet intake of breath from where Gabriel was still laying on the floor. Even though he was an angel too, he seemed in a little bit of awe at Cas' wings. I would never admit it out loud, but they were beautiful. Blood was caked into several places, barely noticeable because of their natural dark color, but that didn't interfere with their beauty at all. He was standing in front of a window, and the sunlight coming through illuminated them in a soft glow.

I knew I was staring and couldn't really help myself. His eyes had fallen shut, and his shoulders relaxed fractionally. I knew I was no longer seeing Cas, the humanized rebel that was a virgin and couldn't use a cell phone. I was seeing Castiel, an Angel of the Lord and currently looking every inch one. Once Gabriel left, I walked over and unable to help it, gently placed a hand on the back of the left wing. Cas' eyes opened immediately as he looked over his shoulder at me.

"Am I hurting you?" I asked worriedly.

He shook his head. "No, they're just sensitive."

Trying and failing to repress an almost childlike wonder, I ran my fingers over the silky feathers. My left hand joined my right as I gently explored the enormous wings. He leaned back into the touch, and I carefully stroked the feathers. His response was a quiet sigh of contentment. I'd never known an angel's wings were so sensitive. I reached around to touch the front of the wings, which seemed to be even more tender than the back. They seemed so fragile under my touch, and my stomach coiled with nausea at the thought of how much pain he must have been in when he woke up and someone had tried to rip them out. He turned around so he was facing me, and I expected him to tell me to stop, but instead he just leaned against me. Fatigue seemed to be setting back in.

I put an arm around his waist so I could move him back to the couch, but stiffened in surprise when I felt something light and soft touch my back. I glanced over and saw that his wings were wrapped around me in what I guessed was some sort of angelic version of an embrace. A flash of heat went through me when they brushed against the handprint on my shoulder through the thin material of my shirt. It was not entirely unpleasant. Wondering if it was possible to die of awkwardness, I carefully wrapped my other arm around his waist. The large wings were relaxed but still wound around us. I looked down to see he'd fallen asleep against me. I lightly stroked his back through the dress shirt that was now torn in two places from where his wings had come out, smiling a little when the muscles softened under my touch.

"So Dean, the angel that did this to Cas and Gabriel-" Sam cut himself off when he walked in.

I shifted, embarrassed. I would have pulled out of the embrace but I didn't want to drop the unconscious angel. Just when I thought he was getting better, he had passed out again. I lowered him onto the couch, his wings and arms falling from my back as I released him. He remained asleep as I stepped back. Sam paused briefly to take in the raven colored wings that lay on either side of Cas, but managed to transfer his gaze to mine. I just then noticed he held a duffel bag full of what looked like angel hunting supplies. Holy oil, a box of matches, the blade I'd thrown into the wall earlier (though I was aiming for a certain Trickster's head), and a knife that I knew was for cutting yourself in case you needed to make an angel banishing sigil.

Sam noticed me looking at the bag. "We're going to go hunt down this feathery bastard. You coming?"

A grin spread across my face. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"_All my agony fades away when you hold me in your embrace_

_Don't tear me down, for all I need_

_Make my heart a better place, give me something I can believe."_


	7. Won't Finish What You Started

**Author's Note:**

**Flashback angst in the beginning, but the end of the chapter has to do with the plot, promise. I borrowed one of Cas' quotes for the end, see if you can find it ;-) Bobby is showing up in the chapter after this one so don't worry, I haven't forgotten about bringing him into the story :D Lyrics are from Haunted by (please don't kill me for this) Taylor Swift. Chapter is dedicated to Fiona Bee for being way too awesome for words.**

**Oh and a note to cheryl24, who anonymously reviewed asking for Gabriel to heal Bobby. Did you mean his legs (because at this point he still wouldn't be able to walk) or something else? Because I will more than happily write the scene, I just want to make sure I have it right :-)**

**I will let you guys get on with the chapter now!**

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"_You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time_

_But I never thought I'd live to see a break_

_It's getting dark and it's all too quiet _

_I can't trust anything now."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

_Blunt fingernails sunk into my back, clawing to access the soft, vulnerable layer just under the skin. I was trapped in my own head, unable to fight, unable to even move. The skin finally broke, and fingers closed around my wings, harshly yanking them out of my back. This was not how an angel's wings were supposed to come out. An angel extended them willfully, but never should they be forced from the skin. The resulting pain was excruciating. A wetness trickled down my back, and it took me a moment to realize it was blood. _

_Something that was both hot and cold welled up inside me, trying desperately to break free and release. My grace. With a sickening tear, one of my wings became partially separated from the root. An angel was ripping out my wings, and taking my grace along with them. I knew it was an angel simply because only one of us would know such an old method. It was such an ancient way of killing an angel that it had been long since forgotten about. Now everyone thought the only way was to kill them with a sacred blade or burn them holy oil, and that should be the only way. I would not wish this torture on anyone, not even Morningstar._

_I was vaguely aware of the hands on my back ceasing their movement. The angel had given up, as my wings refused to fully tear free. I did not know where I was…I didn't even know what had happened. It was several moments before I remembered. I had banished the angels to clear the way for Sam and Dean, and then I had been awoken by the angel attempting to murder me. I was not physically awake, only aware of my surroundings in my head. My body was still too damaged to move yet. When I finally could open my eyes, I tried calling out. My voice came out nothing more than a broken whisper. I lay there, with my broken and bloody wings underneath me, for a very long time before I was strong enough to move._

_I used what little I had left of my powers to imitate Bobby Singer's voice over the cell phone still tucked into my pocket, and then waited for the Winchesters in the abandoned motel I'd found. When they finally arrived, Dean was the first one I saw. I had never been happier to see the hunter in my life, and I had ignored the pain searing my spine when he pulled me into an embrace. I would have held on forever if had been at all possible. It took every bit of strength I had left to talk to the brothers, but soon I was unable to hold myself up, and Dean was half carrying, half dragging me out to his car._

_The images started fading together until one became prominent…_

_Hands exploring my wings with uncharacteristic gentleness. I had never thought I would let anyone touch them again after the abuse they'd endured, but I found Dean's touch comforting, so much that after wrapping my wings around him in the way angels show their brothers great affection, I had fallen asleep in his arms. It had reminded me of when I had been very young, and not known how much of a privilege it was that Gabriel, the archangel, was spending time with me. I had been six years old at the time, so extremely young for an angel._

_The older angel had told me stories of Garrisons that had existed long before mine, and he'd taught me to fly, but as the humans would say; We'd grown up and grown apart. My superiors disliked him and forced him away from me, and I continued growing up without my brother. I had many brothers, but none that meant as much to me as he did. I was young and naïve, so much that I'd thought my brother had simply forgotten about me, forgotten about how much I loved him. Centuries later, I was a war hardened, apathetic warrior of God that no longer wasted time on pining for my brother. My Garrison had taught me apathy, which they convinced me was the most important emotion of all._

_Then I was sent to Hell after Dean Winchester, the man that took everything my family had taught me and torn it to shreds. He had become a brother to me, regardless of his mortality. I'd gone against everything for him, even rebelled against my home to help him. I'd also lost everything when he failed, but I didn't regret it. I loved him as I had loved Gabriel. _

"_Castiel, wake up…"_

_My memories started becoming less vivid, more fragmented. They were breaking apart. I heard someone say my name again, and I recognized the voice as Gabriel's. He again told me to wake up, this time using my nickname. Cas. _

"_Cas…"_

My eyes flew open to meet Gabriel's. He was standing over me, looking worried. I had not seen this expression on his features before. I felt something soft brush my arms, and looked over to see my wings laying on either side of me. I didn't know how I'd ended up on the couch, the last thing I remembered was falling unconscious against Dean. I'd embraced him with my wings, and the more I contemplated that, the more I assumed he'd found it disturbing. My head was starting to get clearer. The onslaught of memories brought on by my broken grace had left me exhausted once more, but I was thinking better now.

"Where are Dean and Sam?" I asked.

"They went to hunt down Dariel," he said. "The angel that tried to kill us."

"Why are you not with them? They may need your protection," I snapped.

"You are _dying_, Cas. You may not realize it, but you are. Your grace is broken beyond repair, and slowly but surely, it's killing you. I wasn't leaving you alone. Dariel is the only one that knows how to fix you, so they're going to get that information out of him and then fry him extra crispy," Gabriel explained calmly.

"I am not-"

"Save it," he cut me off. "Okay, if something hasn't gone seriously wrong then give me a rational explanation for any of the following: You've been clinging to Dean like a lost puppy, you keep falling asleep, you can barely even walk on your own…Shall I continue?"

"No," I said gruffly. He was right. Something was wrong.

"Well then, I know something that will help. Us archangels have a vast knowledge of cures and medicine, and there is one that I've picked up that helps any single illness in the world," he said, leaving briefly.

When he returned and placed something in my hand, I sighed and looked up at him.

"Brother, how is a Hershey bar going to help my illness?"

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"How do we fix Cas?" Dean asked the angel that was currently trapped in a circle of holy fire. It hadn't been easy, but we finally had him.

"Oh, he's still alive? I thought he'd be dead by now," the angel commented offhandedly, and my brother was visibly seething.

"Tell us how to fix him," he growled, dipping Cas' angel killing blade in holy oil.

"What, not even curious as to why I was enlisted to kill you boy's precious angels?" Dariel asked.

"They're not _our_ anyt-"

My protest was cut off by Dean. "Yeah, ain't that great? Your angels are our little bitches now."

"Exactly why Michael ordered me to kill them. I may have failed, but they are dying. The archangel will take longer, but I do believe _Cas_," he said the nickname with venom in his voice, "should be dead anytime now."

"Why were you ordered to kill them?" I asked.

"Isn't that obvious?"

Without further ado, Dean reached over the fire and sliced the angel's arm with the blade dipped in holy oil. It burned the skin with a loud hiss and the angel seemed to bite back a scream. Red welts appeared against the pale skin of the angel's vessel. He glared at us from under a lock of inky black hair, gritting his teeth in pain.

"It's a _threat_, you idiots. Say yes to Michael or we will kill everyone the two of you love," he hissed.

"Cas and Gabriel are almost dead because of _me_?" Dean demanded.

The angel's thin lips twisted up into a triumphant smirk. "I suggest you give up trying to fight, Dean. Or we will kill every single person you've ever cared about. Cas, Lisa…Ben."

Dean flinched at the names like someone had physically hit him. But the fury in his eyes was suddenly walled off, leaving his expression cold and unreadable.

"And if you really want to know how to fix your friend, I have a suggestion. The kindest thing for him is to take that blade he carries…and drive it through his heart." The angel was crossing a very dangerous line with those words.

"Dean, no!" I yelled, grabbing his arms when he tried to lunge for Dariel and almost went right into the flames.

"Well he has every right to be angry, Samuel. It's cruel to leave Castiel alive, and the same goes for your archangel pal. It may take longer, but they will both die slowly and painfully unless the two of you are man enough to put them out of their misery."

Adding more holy oil to the blaze surrounding Dariel, Dean turned to walk away, silently saying we were finished and it was time to go home. I packed up what we had laying around and followed. The interior of the warehouse we'd trapped the angel in was rather hot, but his words had left a shiver crawling down my spine. We'd find a way to save Gabriel and Cas…we had to. I couldn't imagine having either of them dead.

"I wouldn't leave me here if I were you, boys. I'll hunt your human little asses down and skin you alive whether Michael likes it or not," Dariel threatened.

"Maybe someday. But today, you're my little bitch," Dean replied, dead serious.

We got back to the car, and my phone started ringing as we got in. I glanced at the caller ID and didn't recognize the number. Dean nodded, telling me to answer it. I flipped it open and put it to my ear, shocked when it was Gabriel's voice on the other end, sounding panicked and terrified. I'd never heard the arrogant archangel sound so afraid and vulnerable.

"Sam, get home, _please_. It's Cas. He's not breathing."

"_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Something's gone terribly wrong, won't finish what you started_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Can't breathe whenever you're gone_

_Can't turn back, I'm haunted."_


	8. Not Seeing That Loving You

**Author's Note:**

**Warning: language, lots of P.O.V. changes, and angst! There was so much angst that it practically wrote the chapter all by itself. *hides behind computer* Please don't kill me, I have to live to finish season six of Supernatural! Gabriel especially is very OOC, but after re-watching the warehouse scene in 5x08 I thought maybe he could have a very sensitive side. I am very sorry if this confuses anyone, my muse was all over the place! **

**Lyrics are from What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts. And a note to cheryl24 and Susangel: The scenes you requested will be in the next chapter, since I already had this one almost completely written when you gave me the ideas :D**

**This chapter is dedicated to the wonderful Kiratoya, who writes some amazing SPN fics. And, to take a leaf out of her book, review and/or don't kill me and you can have an angel of your choice on a platter ;-) C'mon, you know you want one!**

**End of ramble :D**

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"_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go_

_But I'm doing it_

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

_Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret_

_But if I could do it over_

_I would trade, give away all the words I saved in my heart _

_That I left unspoken."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

I had never driven so fast in my life. I never thought I'd day that, but it was true. I pressed the gas pedal flat to the floor as I drove. I currently had a one track mind. Cas was hurt, I had to get to him. He wasn't breathing. I was forcing my thoughts to be organized so I wouldn't panic. If I panicked…I wouldn't be doing anyone any good. Right now the only thing that was important was getting to Cas.

When we finally got back to the house, I threw open the door and took off for the living room. Gabriel was on his knees next to his brother, yelling for him to wake up, shaking the younger angel's shoulders desperately. I winced as I recalled when Sam had gotten killed by Jacob and how I'd begged him to wake up in much the same fashion. I shook off the memory as I saw Cas. His skin was ashen, and he was completely still. Not even moving a muscle.

"Gabriel what happened?" Sam asked, rushing over to crouch down next to him.

"One second he was asleep and breathing, and I left to go into the kitchen for a minute, and then I came back and…" he trailed off, staring at Cas. "…he wasn't breathing."

"Son of a bitch," I growled, racking my brain for any information that could do any good.

"Can't you just heal him?" Sam asked Gabriel.

The archangel shook his head. "I tried! Over and over and _over_." I absently wondered if he was going to either start screaming or crying, because he looked like he was on the verge of both.

"Let us look at him and see what we can do," Sam said, pulling Gabriel to his feet and trying to lead him out of the room.

"I am _not _leaving him," he hissed, struggling to break Sam's hold as he fought to return to his brother.

"We will find a way to help him, I swear, but right now you have to let us work," Sam insisted.

"Work all you please, but I am not going anywhere," Gabriel said, yanking his arm from Sam's grasp before sitting down at the end of couch at Cas' feet.

I lost count of how many things we tried. He didn't move. Didn't breathe. We tried everything that all three of us could think of…none of it did any good. The coffee table was splintered from where I'd kicked it in barely contained anger. Now, we were all three silent. Gabriel was sitting on the floor next to Sam, his eyes pained and distant as he rested his head on my brother's shoulder. Sam's eyes were bright with what looked like unshed tears. I was sitting on the couch, clutching on to Cas for all it was worth. His wings hung limply behind him, and his skin was cool to the touch.

"I'm sorry…Cas, I'm so sorry…" I whispered into his hair.

I gently pressed my lips to the top of his head as I cradled him against me. Try as I might, I couldn't stop the single tear that slid from my eye and ran down my face. My fingers slid through the soft feathers on his wings, remembering all too well how they had wrapped around me in an embrace not all that long ago. Both my brother and his were silent as I mourned the man that had become a best friend and brother. It killed me, having him laying dead in my arms. I loved him just as fiercely as I loved Sammy. I let time fade away as I clung to him, forgetting everything else in the world.

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

I'd thought I was past feeling human emotions. Thought it was over. Now I knew I couldn't be more wrong. Human emotions smothered me, leaving me feeling me empty and broken as I numbly leaned my head against Sam's shoulder. Grief. Pain. Self-hatred. Regret. Loneliness. The emotions just kept coming and coming, leaving me trapped under their weight.

Before I'd been put through seeing my brothers kill each other and then becoming a Trickster, I'd been one of the most sensitive angels in my Garrison. I'd been infamous for growing too attached to family members and then grieving helplessly when they died in the war that had drove me to hide on Earth. But there had been one angel, above all the others, that I loved the most. One that I had more hidden history with that even the Winchesters didn't know about.

Castiel.

My baby brother. Sweet, innocent little Cas. The same angel that had become my best friend back in the old days. I'd told him countless tales of Heaven's earliest days and even taught him to fly, and in exchange he had given me the little brother I'd never had. He was the youngest angel in his Garrison, I was what the humans would call the "middle child" in mine. Mostly ignored, but not once I met Cas.

I recalled him clinging to my back for dear life as I tried to teach him to fly, and then finally trusting me enough to let go and fly for himself. Eventually we'd gotten separated, but I'd never forgotten him. I'd recognized him even when he was in Jimmy Novak's body. It was impossible not to know the innocent light that still reflected in his eyes. It had been fainter than it had been when he'd been a child, but still lingering behind the vivid blue eyes of his vessel.

"We should take him to Bobby's," Sam finally said, voice cracked as tears streamed down his face.

"Why?" I asked, glancing up.

"Don't you think he deserves a proper burial?"

"Of course," I said, still leaning against his shoulder.

Normally I would have laughed at anyone that even _suggested_ I curl up next to the hunter that had repeatedly tried to kill me and grieve my brother with my head on his shoulder, but I found solace and comfort with Sam. I was shocked when he gently wrapped his arms around me, clearly fearing my reaction to the affection gesture. The tears I'd been holding back let go, wetting my face as I curled my fingers around the back of Sam's jacket and held on for dear life. I held on as tightly as I possibly could. The arms around my waist grasped me just as firmly.

At that moment, every wall I'd ever built fell away. I wasn't the archangel that had grown cynical from the sight of his family killing each other, I wasn't the Trickster that played games with people just because I could. I was just Gabriel, the sensitive one, the fragile one. The one that had later walled off caring about people because it only resulted in pain. I hid my face in Sam's shoulder, shaking. I would regret this later, allowing him to see the side of me that no one else in the world was allowed to, but not right now. He was the only solid thing I could find in the chaotic world that was crumbling around me.

**Dean's P.O.V. (One Hour Later - At Bobby's)**

"You are not putting him in the fucking _ground_!" I yelled furiously. "I _will_ find a way to bring him back."

"Oh what are you going to do, make a deal? Look at how well that turned out last time! And guess what boy, your angel isn't going to be here to rescue you from Hell this time!" Bobby yelled back.

"Dean I know this is awful, but we have to at least bury him," Sam added.

"Give me twenty-four hours. That's all I want. One day to fix this," I said in an attempt to be rational.

Bobby and Sam exchanged a long look, and then Sam and Gabriel looked at each other a moment before they all three turned back to me. Taking a deep breath, I mentally reminded myself that yelling again wouldn't help get my point across. Bobby sighed before reluctantly relaxing the tense set of his shoulders and scrubbing his hand over his face.

"One day, boy. That's it."

"That's all I need."

For hours, we poured over book over book, and I downed more coffee than I thought could possibly be healthy. Cas was laid out on the couch, and he looked so peaceful that he could have been sleeping had I not known better. Stacks of books surrounded me as I searched for answers. Later, Sam said he was going to take his laptop and see what he could find, Gabriel had fallen asleep with his head on a book, and Bobby was sitting at his desk with more ancient documents. I took a small break from research to walk over and sit down next to Cas.

"I'm going to fix this, I promise," I whispered even though he couldn't hear me.

I wrapped my hand around his, using my free one to gently brush a wayward strand of hair from his face. His skin was slightly cool but not cold under my fingertips. My stomach rolled with nausea when I briefly considered whether or not angels decomposed. The thought was so downright sick and wrong that I recoiled from it instinctively. I distracted myself from it by squeezing the limp, lifeless hand. I reassured myself that within the next few hours, I would have him awake and alive again. The naturally cynical part of my mind whispered that I was in denial about his death, but I ignored it. I loved him too much to let him go. I knew that and didn't care.

Then…something impossible happened. I had never believed in miracles, never believed in wonderful things just randomly happening. Why? Because they had never happened to me. Not once had I seen something that shouldn't be real…happening. Okay so yeah, that's pretty rich coming from the guy that puts the Ghostfacers to shame, but true. I hadn't believed in _any_ of that stuff, until now. Because it started with the jerk of a hand, then a gasping noise, and then his entire body going into seizure. You want to know why I considered it a miracle?

Because it was Cas…and he was alive.

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"Sam?"

I jerked awake from where I'd fallen asleep at the sound of someone saying my name. I was sprawled out on the bed, my laptop next to me. I mentally kicked myself for falling asleep. I looked up to see Gabriel sitting on the edge of the bed, looking downright awful. He was swaying unsteadily as he grasped the edge of the mattress for support. I sat up, worried immediately.

"Sammy…something's wrong…" he said weakly before falling backwards.

I caught him easily, gently laying him over my lap. He was barely even awake, and his eyes were glazed over. I put one hand underneath his head to keep it supported. He opened his mouth in an attempt to say something, but it was like he was too weak to even talk. I stretched him out on the bed and propped myself on one elbow next to him, trying to figure out what I could do to help.

"Gabriel, what's wrong?" I asked.

He finally found the strength to speak. "I had to help Cas…it was the only way…"

"What are you talking about?"

He peered up at me with pained hazel eyes. "He's my brother, Sammy. I couldn't let him die."

"What have you done?" I demanded.

His hand, which felt cold and dry, sought out mine. His fingers closed around my hand. I carefully squeezed his hand, which felt slightly small in mine. I tried to figure out what I was seeing, but couldn't put my finger on it. I definitely wasn't seeing the malicious Trickster, nor was I seeing the fearsome archangel. This was a different person entirely, the same person I'd held and tried to comfort when Cas had died.

"Tell Cas no matter what he thinks, that I always loved him," he whispered, his eyes slowly falling shut.

"No, stay awake, Gabriel. Please," I begged, panic settling in.

"For an oversized human…you're not too bad of a guy, Sammy," he choked out.

"Gabriel?" There was no response, and I said his name again. I shook him desperately. Still nothing. Tears prickled in the corners of my eyes before falling down my face. I ran my hand down the side of his face, the skin smooth underneath my fingertips. I choked on a sob as I begged him to wake up. I was only vaguely aware of Dean's voice coming from downstairs, sounding wondrous as he declared Cas was awake.

Heedless of anyone else, I rested the side of my face against Gabriel's shoulder, his blond hair brushing against my face. What was it with older brothers sacrificing themselves for those they loved? Images danced behind my eyes as I silently begged the former Trickster to wake up. Asking a seemingly normal janitor about the deaths… later trying to kill him…feeling the shock of seeing him again at Mystery Spot…being completely broken and afraid when I finally found him and begged him to bring Dean back…every encounter with him played out, finally leading up to this one. I pressed my lips to his forehead as grief overwhelmed me.

"Gabriel, please…"

"_What hurts the most, was being so close_

_And having so much to say, and watching you walk away_

_And never knowing what could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do."_


	9. Like a Shooting Star He Shines

**Author's Note:**

**Hello everyone! I would like to say thank you thank you thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers! You rock :D I have been having so much fun writing this, and I really appreciate all the feedback. This chapter is dedicated to both cheryl24 and Susangel for their amazing scene ideas! Hope the scenes are at least close to what you wanted, if not then feel free to kill me for it :-)**

**Lyrics are from Ordinary Day by Vanessa Carlton, the first set is directed at the Dean/Cas scene at the beginning, the second set directed at Gabriel's character in general. **

**Reviews are love!**

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"_And as I looked up into those eyes, his vision borrows mine_

_And I know he's no stranger, for I feel I've held him for all of time."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

When the convulsions finally stopped, I looked up at Dean, who had held me through the entire ordeal. I was laid out across his lap as he gently stroked my hair away from my face. My body felt warm from the strength of Gabriel's grace stirring within me, and that thought immediately had me raising into a sitting positon, knowing I would have a lot of explaining to do with Sam. He probably had no idea what was going on. I tried to get up but Dean put a hand on my chest, holding me back.

"Slow down. You just spontaneously came back from the dead, you should take it easy."

"I must get to Sam."

"I'll tell him you're alive, promise, but in the meantime-"

"That is not the issue, Dean," I said, cutting him off and getting to my feet and ignoring his protests. "Gabriel infused me with the remainder of his grace to bring me back. Archangels have many powers that exceed human understanding, and this is one of them."

"So he sacrificed himself to save you?" he asked, shocked.

"It appears that way, but no. He is in the angelic equivalent of a human coma."

"How do we get him out of it?" he asked as he followed me upstairs to the guest room Sam was staying in.

"We will need a human willing to be bound to him for the rest of their life."

"Well how about I put an ad in the paper. 'Single white archangel looking for eternal mate.' I bet we'll find someone."

"No, we cannot entrust this to a stranger," I replied.

"Dude, I was kidding."

"This is not a joking matter," I said as we walked into Sam's room.

Even to an angel still learning the basics of human emotions, the sight we found there was heartbreaking. Sam was holding my brother, crying and quietly begging him to wake up. I felt a pang of guilt well up at the sigh of Gabriel so lifeless. My former guardian looked dead to the human eye, but I could see the fractional remainder of his grace still within him. I had a feeling it would be Sam that resulted in saving Gabriel, he seemed very close to my much older brother.

"Sam, let him go," I said, walking over to them.

He ignored me, so I continued. "Gabriel is not dead. But he will be very soon, and I need your help."

His head shot up. "How? How can I help?"

"His grace is barely hanging on, so to speak. When our wings were nearly ripped out, we were given what humans would consider a disease. Only a very high amount of an archangel's grace can rid an angel of said disease, which is the only reason I am alive. We have no archangel to do for him what he did for me, and he cannot survive without his grace. The illness will slowly eat away at it and kill him regardless of what we do. Unless, that is, we can withdraw was little grace he has life and preserve it in a body untainted by the illness."

"And that's where Sasquatch comes in?" Dean supplied.

"Yes, that is where Sam comes in," I said, having grown used to Dean's nickname for his younger sibling.

"So you want to put part of Gabriel…_in_ me?" Sam asked.

"Sounds kinky," Dean commented.

Ignoring Dean, I said to Sam, "It will create a very close bond between the two of you. You'll be able to feel each other's emotions, possibly even communicate telepathically."

"Whatever it takes to save him," the hunter responded.

"Then we will start," I said, very glad he had agreed with minimal hesitation.

"What should I do?" he asked eagerly.

"Lay down and relax."

He complied, laying down next to Gabriel and visibly forcing himself to relax. Closing his eyes, I watched as the tension slowly left his body. Good. He needed to be as relaxed as possible for this. Bobby, who had just come in, was quickly enlightened about the current situation by Dean. Using my newly regenerated powers to ease Sam into a deep sleep, I laid one hand on his chest and the other on Gabriel's. I could tell Dean and Bobby were watching with fascination as I began chanting in Enochian.

Before long, the ritual was in progress.

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

I was not presently aware of my body. Not of what was happening to it, or where I was. This was fine with me, though. My mind was playing out many memories of the very early days, when I had still been a generally content angel. More than an angel, but an archangel. One of the most respected figures in Heaven. I would never forget the day I was summoned and told I'd been assigned as a guardian to my very own angel. I'd been as excited as a small child.

"_You must be Castiel," I'd said to the tiny angel. My assignment. My adorable assignment, I might add._

_He nodded. "Who are you?"_

"_Gabriel." _

_He was only five human years old when we first met, and I had taught him everything. First I told him endless stories that he listened to eagerly, always begging me for more when I finished. Then I taught him to fly, patiently allowing him to hold on to my wings until he could fly on his own. When he was older, I taught him to fight with his angel blade. He was the only opponent I was ever evenly matched with, simply because I taught him everything I knew and turned him into one of the most well trained angels in his Garrison._

"_He's precious, your Castiel," one of the other archangels had commented while we watched my assigned angel fly. _

_Archangels were both warriors and guardians, and I had always wanted to be a guardian to an angel of my own. Castiel became my pride and joy, I loved him more then anything else in the world. I watched him grow, watched him become more than just one of Heaven's creations, but something all his own. A beautiful, remarkable angel that would stop the end of the world right in its tracks. At the time I didn't know just how important he was, but the others did._

_Just as humans had a Prophet of the Lord, so did we. Heaven's current Prophet just happened to be in my Garrison. His name was Dariel. I'd lied to Dean when I'd told him I didn't know the angel personally. He foretold that Castiel and me would become something lethal. Separated, we were dangerous, but together? We were unstoppable. And everyone knew it once Dariel voiced his prophecy, that we would help stop the Apocalypse and start the greatest war of Heaven since the Great Battle of the Morningstar, the latter being the infamous battle that had led to Lucifer being trapped in Hell._

_They had wanted to separate us so we could never start the foretold battle. I had been watching over Castiel, just as always, when the other archangels drug me away, warning me not to wake him. They told me I'd best never communicate with him again, or they would kill him. I did not doubt that they would. I came from a cruel Garrison. So they'd taken me away…and never let me see him again. Let him believe I'd just up and abandoned him without a second thought. _

_That night, after they'd taken him from me, I had cried quietly when they were not around. It was weak, but I couldn't help it. I loved him, and now for his own sake, I could never see him again. There had not been a single day when I hadn't thought of him, hadn't longed for the sweet angel I'd sworn to protect. So when my brothers and sisters started killing each other, I left. Couldn't stand it if Castiel was among them and I couldn't be there to save him._

_That was why I became the Trickster and left my life as an archangel behind. I'd told Sam and Dean I couldn't take watching my family slaughter each other, but I'd left out the real reason. Castiel. My sweet, darling Castiel. I'd managed to cover up the pain and longing I'd felt when he'd shown up in the sitcom parody with a simple "Hi, Castiel!", but when he looked at me over his shoulder as he left the warehouse with so much hate in his eyes, I'd nearly come undone. _

_I knew why he looked at me that way. He still saw me as the angel that left him behind. But I knew Dariel was still alive, so I still couldn't go to him, couldn't explain why I did what I did. So I was forced to let him hate me without even trying to explain. But when he banished the angels for Sam and Dean and ended up mortally wounded, I went to him and healed him while he was still unconscious. That was the biggest mistake I ever made._

_Dariel found out…and tried to kill us both. Tried to rip out our wings to punish me for disobedience. When I finally woke up, I found Cas barely alive. I wanted to try to help him but didn't want Dariel to return and kill him once and for all, finishing what he started. So I stayed nearby, and used my mental powers to inform Cas where I was against my better judgment. I was sick and tired to death of staying away, I wanted my brother back. Selfish, yes, but true._

_Though I still didn't think it was safe to tell him the entire story about why I'd left, we'd still begun bonding again. I recalled when I'd given him the Hershey bar and he'd reluctantly tried it. That was when I'd successfully gotten my brother hooked on chocolate. He'd eaten not only that but three more afterwards, and then asked what other kinds of chocolate were good. I'd left to go get the cupcakes…and that's when it all started going downhill._

_I had come back to find him still, eerily so. He hadn't been breathing. I'd tried to heal him, begged him to wake up, done everything I could before calling Sam, the first person that had come to mind. They had arrived, and tried just as hard as I did to bring Cas back, but finally dubbed it useless. I'd later come apart in Sam's arms, grieving my little Cas, who'd I failed so completely as his guardian._

_Finally, I got to the most recent batch of memories. Closing my eyes and infusing Castiel with my grace until I was almost too weak to move, and then going to find Sam, simply because I wanted to see him one last time before I snuffed it. He'd been gentle and welcoming to me. A warmth and comfort had eased me into the darkness as he leaned over me, his hand large and warm around mine. Then…it had all gone dark. I was now presently aware of someone chanting in Enochian._

_I knew that voice. Gruff and cracked, but no longer as awful as it had been when he'd been dying. Castiel. I'd once viewed the voice as Jimmy Novak's, but no, it was Castiel's now. I knew that vessel was as much his true form as his Heavenly one. The trench coat, the dark blue tie…they were all a part of him now. Then a second voice spoke, smoother and less hoarse..._

"Gabriel?"

My eyes flew open to meet Sam's. I was awake. I shook my head to clear it of the onslaught of memories, trying to adjust to the strange pull I felt. I realized it was a pull towards my grace…which was in Sam. I could feel in within his body. Okay, weird. Like chocolate with orange weird. Chocolate is awesome, why taint it with fruit? Yuck.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

I blinked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "Like your invading my personal space. Get out of my bubble, kiddo."

"Right, sorry."

"You should not have attempted to sacrifice yourself for me, Gabriel," Castiel said from where he stood next to the bed.

"What can I say? I was feeling heroic," I joked. "So let's skip all the chick flicky moments and go celebrate, yeah?"

"Define your meaning of 'celebrate,'" he said worriedly.

"Let's go find a nightclub, have some drinks, and party because world's most awesome archangel is alive and kicking!" I grinning, hopping to my feet.

"Not exactly a reason to celebrate, but booze and women are involved, so I say hells yeah," Dean said.

"C'mon Cas, looks like we've been outnumbered," Sam smiled, following Dean out the door.

"You coming, Bobby?" I asked over my shoulder as Cas and I followed the brothers.

"Well of course, I'll just groove on down in my _wheelchair_," he said, heavily sarcastic. "Idjit."

"Why use your wheelchair?"

"Oh, so male blonds _are_ as dumb as the females." Again, heavily sarcastic.

"Well if you just _like_ sitting around in that thing when you could be walking…well, have at it," I shrugged, turning to walk out.

I heard shifting as he rose to his feet. When I looked over my shoulder, he was standing, looking shocked. Our eyes met briefly as it clicked in his human little brain what I'd done. His features softened, and he even smiled. To me, he was a guardian just like I was. He may not be an archangel, but he was as much Sam and Dean's guardian as I was Castiel's. We were one and the same, in my opinion. I figured fixing his legs was the least I could do.

"Thank you."

I gave him an uncharacteristically warm smile. "Don't mention it."

"Well come on you little idjit, we don't want the boys getting their panties in a wad if we keep em' waiting," he said, motioning to the door.

I did a little dance as I walked. "Time to par-tay!"

"_I started to realize that everyday he finds just what he's looking for_

_Like a shooting star he shines_

_He said, take my hand, live while you can_

_Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand?"_


	10. Tell Me Yours, I'll Tell You Mine

**Author's Note:**

**Hi again my wonderful little reviewers :D This is nothing but plotless fluff, so consider yourself warned! I have a fetish with writing nightclub scenes, so there you have it. I also warn that there is an overload of exchanging some certain three word sentences, so if overly sweet fluff grosses you out, run while you still can :P**

**If anyone wants any scenes please let me know, I love getting scene requests :-)**** Fluff, angst, flashback, anything is fine. I also like bringing back old characters, so even if they're technically dead I will still bring them back if there is a certain character you miss from the show. And no matter what it is don't be scared to ask, this is pretty much an anything goes fan fiction ;-)**

**Oh and do you all remember the episode Weekend At Bobby's? Well I am writing a strictly Bobby chapter in my own little tribute to that ep, so tell me if you want any certain Bobby scenes written!**

**I am so happy I've already reached chapter 10 of this, and I totally wouldn't have been able to do it without you! Thank you so much :D *hands out shirtless J2 on a platter as a thanks* I would give you all a shirtless Cas, but he's mine, sorry ;-) Song lyrics are from If We Ever Meet Again by Katy Perry featuring Timbaland.**

**All done babbling now! **

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"_What's somebody like you doing in a place like this?_

_Say, did you come alone or did you bring all your friends?_

_Say, what's your name, whatcha drinking? I think I know what you're thinking_

_Baby what's your sign? Tell me yours, I'll tell you mine."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

We stopped outside the nightclub, and I assessed Cas briefly before shaking my head. The holy tax accountant getup was _so_ not going to cut it. He watched me curiously as I pulled his trench coat off and un-tucked his white dress shirt from his slacks. It was already plenty tousled enough, but I ruffled his hair for good measure. I smiled proudly at my work. _One more thing, _I thought. I removed his tie undid the first couple buttons of his shirt, exposing _just _enough skin. An old trick I was pretty taken with. Leaving his coat and tie in the car, I decided he was ready.

"Okay, let's go," I said, slinging an arm casually around his shoulders as we walked in.

I nodded in the silent _How you doin? _to the girls that ogled me, and watched with amusement as they also ogled Cas. He didn't even seem to notice their staring. I cringed when a couple of guys also checked us out. Ew. Gabriel had left with Sam and Bobby to go find drinks, so I was left to introduce Cas to the wonderful world of club dancing. A nice, upbeat song was playing. Perfect for dancing.

"Alright, time to teach you how to dance," I said, dragging the very unwilling angel out onto the floor.

"What do you mean?" he asked worriedly.

"Just trust me."

Teaching another male to club dance would be seriously weird if it wasn't Cas. Oddly enough I'd never felt awkward with him, no matter what. I pulled his hands up so they rested on my shoulders and I splayed my fingers out on his hips, drawing him close. He complied when I repositioned him, watching me with his trademark confused puppy look. I started to move slowly, easing him into it.

"Just mimic what I'm doing," I instructed.

He paused briefly before tightening his grip on my shoulders and moving his body just slightly. Well, it was a start. I smiled as he started to get the hang of it, moving fluidly right along with me. I wrapped my arms around him and held him to me. Being close to him helped rid me of the awful memories of when I'd thought he was dead, and how I'd cradled him and cried as I whispered into his hair. Feeling him so solid and alive…I needed it desperately.

Our position had changed slightly. My arms circled his waist tightly, and his arms were around my neck. It was easy and comfortable. _Wow. I'm dancing with an Angel of the Lord, _I mused. It was weird and funny at the same time. I looked over and saw Sam, Gabriel and Bobby all at the bar, and made a mental note to thank Gabriel for what he did sometime. I didn't like thanking things I had once tried to hunt and kill, but I couldn't just ignore what he'd done.

"Hey Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?" he asked, his movements slowing since the song had changed to a slower one.

I hesitated briefly, knowing I was in dangerous territory. "Do you ever…regret leaving Heaven? Rebelling?"

"Of course not. I was offered my old position back when they got desperate and needed my help, but no, I don't regret leaving Heaven the first or the second time."

"You could have went back? Even after you rebelled?" I asked, shocked.

He nodded. "One of the archangels contacted me and made an offer. The offer was I could return to Heaven, no strings attached, if I vowed my allegiance to his service."

"Why didn't you go back? Not that I'm not happy you're here, but Cas that's your home. Your family. Why'd you give it up?"

"Because I'm happy here…with you."

Our eyes met and held. The statement was simple, but his voice held more emotion than I'd ever heard before. I searched his eyes and found only raw honesty in them. I fumbled for a snappy comeback to ease the tension, but thought better of it. What I was seeing…it was Castiel laid bare. No defenses, no guards. He was completely vulnerable right now. I leaned my forehead against his as my breath caught in my throat. I loved him like I loved the family related to me by blood, but this was so much more complex than what I had with Sam.

Sammy was my little brother. I'd grown up by his side, knew almost every thought that went through his head. I knew that kid like the back of my hand. But Cas…he was something else entirely. He had so many sides I didn't know about, and sometimes it was so hard to distinguish one from the other. Right now definitely wasn't one of those times though. He was open, and vulnerable, and so very human. It sounded like something out of a bad chick flick, but I probably would have been more than happy to hold him in my arms and never let go.

"You know I love you, right?" I asked quietly.

My forehead was still rested against his and I couldn't see his expression, but I could see a glimpse of his eyes. I'd never seen someone look so profoundly touched. It was as if I'd said something shocking and remarkable. Hell, I didn't think it was all that much of a shock. I figured he was as certain of how much I loved him as Sammy was. Apparently not, because his eyes were alive with emotion. I wondered if anyone had ever even said that to him before.

"Thank you, Dean," he finally said. "If I tell you something…will you swear not to tell anyone else?"

"Of course."

"Last time I loved someone, and they loved me, they abandoned me. Left without a trace. He was the only brother I ever knew until I met you. To this day I still love him, but I'll always wonder why he left. If it was something I did or if he simply grew tired of me."

"Sometimes people do things they aren't proud of. Maybe he just needs a second chance," I offered, wondering if it would be considered prying to ask who this was that he was talking about.

The glance he threw in Gabriel's direction answered my question. "I forgave him a long time ago. I was still hurt and angry, but I didn't hate him. Never did."

"Well I'm not going anywhere, Cas. Not ever."

"Thank you…" We stared at each other for a moment, the tension thick from the words we'd spoken. This was a pretty emotional conversation to be having on a dance floor, but since when do Winchesters do things the old fashioned way?

"In the meantime…we have more dancing to do," I grinned in an attempt to lighten the mood as the song again changed, this time to another fast one.

It worked. His eyes softened into a happy contentment that looked foreign on his features, and he fell back into position with me, ignoring the people staring at us. We moved in an easy movement together, feeling light and airy and happy. Once, he even smiled. I decided that he didn't do that nearly enough. A memory of something I'd once told him crossed my mind, accurately describing the feelings running through me.

_Hell, I'm happy._

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"What…are these things?" I slurred before downing another one of the purple drinks.

"Purple Nurples," Gabriel grinned drunkenly. We were both pretty smashed.

"They are…awesome," I said.

"No kidding," he agreed.

"I think both of you idjits are too drunk to see straight," Bobby, who was halfway between drunk and sober, added from my left.

"What was your first clue?" Gabriel asked.

"Well you boys keep getting wasted, I am going home. You angels can bring your humans back," he said gruffly before laying a wad of cash on the bar to cover his drinks and leaving.

"Killjoy," I grumbled.

"So Sammy," Gabriel started, and I was too drunk to correct his use of my nickname, "am I that drunk or is your older bro dancing with our friendly neighborhood holy tax accountant?"

My jaw dropped when I looked over. "Nope…it's really happening."

He quirked an eyebrow. "Okey dokey then. Looks like we're not the only ones wasted."

"That's the thing. They're sober," I corrected.

He shrugged. "About time Cas got that stick out of his ass. Hey, that rhymed!" he added. One wasted archangel to go, please.

_So if they're club dancing while they're sober, I wonder what would happen if they got drunk, _I thought.

_Don't know. That might be funny!_

I jumped so much that I fell off the barstool. That second thought hadn't been mine. It took several moments for my drunken mind to process what had just happened. It was that bond thing in action…we were talking in our heads. When I looked up, Gabriel looked just as freaked as I did. He reached out and pulled me to my feet, and I tried not to feel alarmed when I realized I was literally feeling his shock as well as my own. I had to remind myself that it was yet another part of the bond, being able to feel each other's emotions.

_We can talk to each other this way? _I thought.

_Apparently._

_That's kind of cool, _I mused, even my mental voice slurred my alcohol.

_Awesome, I can annoy you in your head now! This will be so much fun,_ he thought, smiling widely.

I looked at him challengingly. _And I could hide your entire chocolate supply and find a spell to keep you from manifesting any more._

He glared. _Don't even think about it…no pun intended._

_You're crazy, Gabriel, _I thought with a begrudging affection.

_Maybe, but you love me anyways._

I looked up from where I'd been fiddling with the cuff of my jacket. I don't even think he'd meant to say it out loud. Okay, well not _technically_ out loud, but you get what I mean. He tensed, having just realized what he'd said. Apparently alcohol was not good for people that didn't keep their mouth shut very well. I smiled at him, and the thought I sent in his direction was drunken but honest.

_Yeah, you're right. I do love you anyways._

"_Do you come here much? I swear I've seen your face before_

_Hope you don't see me flush, but I can help but want you more, more_

_Baby tell me, what's your story, I ain't shy don't you worry."_


	11. Cause My Life's So Wonderful Crazy

**Author's Note:**

**Hi! This is pretty much just fluffy fillerness, but the chapter after this is Weekend At Bobby's, and then after that is the bible camp scene (Susangel, you know what I'm talking about ;-)) and then the chapter after that is lots of drama and angst. Lyrics are from Wonderful Crazy by Katelyn Tarver.**

**Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, all of you are amazing!**

* * *

"_Welcome to a new day, don't know what's on the way_

_But whatever it is, I'll be ready_

_On your mark, get set go_

_Here's the show and the road, with you it's a load I can carry_

_And with each breath, I will take it_

_Every moment, gonna make it."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

My eyes opened, and then narrowed. Sunlight came through the window, much too brightly, I might add. It was seriously not helping my hangover. I had attempted to drink two angels under the table. Really, _really_ bad idea. My head was pounding mercilessly. I finally came to my senses and realized something was wrong. For example, I wasn't alone.

I looked down to see…Cas. Well that was weird. We were both still in what we'd worn to the nightclub, but as far as I could recall I'd fallen asleep _alone_. His head was on my shoulder, and I shifted slightly, trying not to wake him. The sunlight illuminated his skin, bringing out the natural highlights in his dark brown hair. Asleep, with no confused head tilts or any expression at all, he looked young and innocent. Sometimes he was the badass angel that could kill anything in his way, but most times, he was so pure and innocent. I couldn't help but love this side of him, the one he tried not to let show.

I absently noted that for the first time since I'd returned from Hell, there had been no nightmares. I hadn't told anyone about them, but every night since I'd been brought back (or as Cas would put it, gripped tight and raised from Perdition) I'd had vivid nightmares about Hell. Last night had been nothing but undiluted sleep…completely free of dreams or nightmares. I had to wonder if it had something to with Cas' presence.

"Dean…?" he murmured sleepily as he opened his eyes.

"Yeah?"

He moved away quickly. "I'm sorry…I-I don't even remember coming in here…"

"Dude, relax. Cuddling with an Angel of the Lord isn't on my top ten list of things to do before I die, but hey, there's a first time for everything," I joked.

"I didn't mean to intrude…"

Teasingly, I said, "Since when do you care about personal space?"

When he tried to stand, I gently tugged on his shirt sleeve, motioning for him to lay back down. The clock said it was just after seven in the morning. Way too early to be conscious on a Saturday. He compliantly laid back down on his back next to me, careful not to invade the personal space he used to not know the meaning of.

Part of me was glad he'd learned, part of me missed the mental image of me walking around with a giant sign that said "Missing: Dean Winchester's Personal Bubble. If found, please return to the gorgeous resident demon hunter."

"Dean, you were talking about 'cuddling' earlier. I have heard the term, but what exactly does it mean?" he asked, turning to look at me.

So much for going back to sleep. "You know how you were kind of…close to me when I woke up?"

He nodded, so I continued. "There are lots of terms for it, the most common being cuddling and snuggling. It's something people do when they're comfortable around each other."

"But it is considered an invasion of personal space to cuddle without their permission?"

I laughed. "Okay Cas, this conversation is way too weird. Go back to sleep," I said.

As I drifted back off to sleep, an amusing thought crossed my mind. _An Angel of the Lord that likes club dancing and cuddling…just when I thought Team Free Will couldn't get any weirder._

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

"Oww…" I moaned miserably, sitting up from where I'd passed out on the couch and rubbing my aching head. It wasn't fair, I was an archangel, I shouldn't even be _able_ to get hangovers!

_Gabriel, stop your bitching and moaning, _Sam sent from upstairs where he was in the guest room that was, for all intents and purposes, his.

_And good morning to you, Bitchface Wonder, _I replied wryly.

I wasn't sure if you could sigh in exasperation telepathically, but I was pretty sure Sam managed it.

_Aw don't get your Miss America sash in a twist, Princess._

_Screw you._

_Thanks but no thanks, kiddo. I don't swing that way._

He didn't "reply," only pulled a mental bitchface at me, so I wandered into the kitchen and started eating one of the chocolate cakes I'd manifested, having it devoured within minutes. Thankfully hangovers didn't affect my appetite. I didn't like the fact Cas and I even had hangovers at all, for that matter. I knew what it meant, though.

After an angel spends an extremely long time in one vessel, the body starts becoming more human. The angel's true form begins merging with the vessel and becoming one. If they merge completely, it's pretty tricky. 'Cause when that happens and you kill the vessel, you also kill the angel. I was pretty sure if you killed Jimmy Novak's body at this point, you would kill Cas too.

I glanced out the window and saw something falling. A grin spread across when I reliazed what it was. Snow! I loved snow. Sadly it didn't snow in Heaven, but that fluffy white stuff had been one of the first things I'd seen when I'd ventured down to Earth. When my vessel, Richard, had said yes to me, I'd been in the snow when I first took full possession of my vessel.

_Sammy, it's snowing! _I sent, happy as a small child.

_I noticed._

_Well aren't you excited?_

I could feel his amusement through the bond. _It snows here all the time, I'm pretty much used to it._

_Doesn't anything get you excited anymore?_

_Um, Gabriel, the world's kind of ending. Snow isn't all that important in comparison._

I mentally stuck my tongue out at him. _Come on, go wake up Dean and his cuddle buddy. I am going to teach you the finer points of playing in the snow._

_You're kidding, right?_

_Nope._

Yep, there goes the mental bitchface again. Oh well, it was worth it.

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

"Wakey wakey Cas, Sammy summons," Dean said, nudging me awake.

I grumbled and turned over, burying my face in what I assumed was a pillow. My body was becoming more human, and my body wanted to go back to sleep.

"C'mon, we'll take a nap later, I promise, but right now we should see what Sam wants."

I didn't know what a nap was, but it sounded appealing. I sat up and realized the "pillow" I'd been hiding in had been Dean's shoulder. I wondered if that qualified as cuddling. Rubbing my eyes, I blinked sleepily. Note to self: No more alcohol. My head was hurting, I was tired, and the thought of food made me want to throw up.

"Whatcha need, Queen Sammy?" Dean asked when we walked downstairs.

"Gabriel seems to think we should go play in the snow," he said, heavily sarcastic.

"It's snowing? Awesome!" the older brother said happily.

"Not you too!" Sam groaned.

The younger Winchester covered his ears when Dean started singing "Walking In a Winter Wonderland" at the top of his lungs. Sam's expression grew even more pained when Gabriel joined in. I listened to their off key melody with fascination. Even Sam sighed and looked at them with a reluctant affection.

"They're crazy," he said, looking over at me.

I nodded. "Undoubtedly."

Later, I found another human custom I was surprised to find I enjoyed. Snowball fights.

"_It's a wonderful crazy_

_It's a beautiful out of control_

_Kinda scary amazing, but I don't mind at all_

_It's like I'm falling, flying, laughing, crying, hanging on and letting go_

'_Cause my life's so wonderful crazy."_


	12. Didn't Make Sense Not To Live For Fun

**Author's Note:**

**This is my own take on Weekend At Bobby's, and I am sorry that it isn't nearly as epic as the actual episode! I think Bobby is too awesome to be correctly put into words ;-) There is also more of Cas being OOC, but the next chapter includes some badass Castielness! Also lots of angst and drama, but I thought you all might want a break from the recent fluff/cuddling overload. This chapter is set about a week after the last one. Note to Susangel: The snowball fight flashback will be in the next few chapters, there just wasn't a place in this one, but it will definitely be in here at some point :D**

**This chapter is dedicated to GhirardelliFan because for one, I love her username and chocolate is the greatest thing ever, and two, she caught the tiny reference to Richard Speight Jr in chapter eleven. I also want to dedicate it to The Singing Duck for the brilliant idea that inspired this chapter, which is Bobby having to deal with Dean and Sam's angels. Lyrics from beginning and end are from All Star by Smashmouth.**

**On to the chapter now ;-)**

* * *

"_Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming_

_Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running_

_Didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb_

_So much to do, so much to see_

_So what's wrong with taking the back streets?"_

**Bobby's P.O.V.**

"Pestilence booked when we showed up at the motel to find Cas, but we're pretty sure we have a lead on him," Sam said.

"Well go fetch, idjit," I replied dryly.

"Happily," Dean said with a smug smile that never led to anything good. "_But_-" Uh oh, here it comes "-you need to take care of Cuddles and Sweet Tooth while we're gone."

"I ain't babysitting you boy's angels! Take care of 'em yourself," I grumbled.

"Bobby," Sam started, as usual playing the nerdy voice of reason, "Dariel will kill them the first chance he gets. We need to be able to focus on hunting Pestilence, and we can't do that if we're too distracted protecting Gabriel and Cas."

I sighed, glaring at Dean, who was still smirking triumphantly. "If you two get home and find some Kentucky Fried Angel, you know not to leave me to babysit your little pets ever again."

They both knew it was a done deal. "Thanks Bobby," Sam smiled.

"Alright, go get yourself a Horseman, boys," I said, shooing them out the door. "And hurry before that spell we put on the angels breaks and they wake up again."

I'd been talked into working a spell that put the angels to sleep so Sam and Dean could get out of the house without getting flagged down by their feathery pals. Thanks to the symbols Cas had carved into their ribs, the angels wouldn't be able to find them once they left. I didn't know which one I was going to end up killing first though; The nerdy one that likes to cuddle or the one that keeps eating every damn sweet in the house and putting itching powder in my underwear, and not to mention when I'd woken up in a dress and feather boa two days ago.

Yep, Gabriel was definitely going to be the first to die. But if Cas tries to crawl in bed with me like he does with Dean, things were not goin' to be pretty. Dean may not mind that angel coming into his room every night (Hell, I was pretty sure that boy had given said angel permission) but I for one was _not_ snuggling up to anything with feathers. Or man parts for that matter.

"Hiya Grumpy!" Gabriel chimed happy, sliding down the banister and landing gracefully on his feet.

"Well look what's awake," I mumbled.

"Gabriel, must you abuse the structures?" Cas asked his brother, motioning the banister Gabriel had just slid down.

"'Course I do!"

Cas looked around briefly before turning back to me. "Where are Sam and Dean?"

Oh boy, here it comes. "They're taking a little road trip…sans things with feathers, sweet tooths, and cuddling fetishes."

"They need our protection," Cas protested, ignoring the dig.

"Those two were takin' care of themselves long before you two came along, what makes you think they can't survive just fine on their own?"

"Last time they tried to 'survive just fine on their own,'" he started, using unneeded air quotes, "I had to free Dean from Hell. I am not judgmental in the slightest, but I do not grasp how the Winchester brothers can in any way be considered with any degree of self stability."

Gabriel smirked. "Touché."

"Well this whole house is ringed in holy oil, so if you two try to leave I'll light your asses up like a Thanksgiving turkey," I said, holding up the empty clay jug that had once contained the holy oil and a lighter for emphasis.

Gabriel smiled with mischief written all over his features. "Okay, whatever you say. In the meantime, we might as well have some fun while we're at it."

"Balls," I muttered quietly. I knew this would go wrong.

He wrinkled his nose delicately. "Not what I had in mind, Grumpy."

"Gabriel, we should not wreak havoc on Robert's home," Cas said.

The archangel pouted. "Why not?"

"I am not sure if it is true, but Dean always warns that if you wreak havoc on the Singer home that you will face the wrath of Sam Winchester Bitchface Number Six. I do not know what that means, but it sounds rather intimidating."

Gabriel slapped his younger brother upside the back of the head. "Do you believe _everything_ Dean tells you?"

Cas blinked and titled his head to one side. "Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Okay, this has been real good fun, but it's time for dinner," I interrupted.

"Dinner?" the younger angel repeated.

"Yep, that stuff humans eat every night. It's real common Cas," I said, walking into the kitchen.

"Oh. Another human custom."

I nodded and started seasoning a big steak before putting it on a pan and then into the oven. Both angels watched with interest. Apparently even Gabriel had never seen someone cook dinner, which wasn't that surprising since all he seemed to eat was sugar. They asked questions occasionally, and I answered them while I cooked. At least they'd stopped arguing.

As I walked around the kitchen cooking, I couldn't help but be reminded of what Gabriel had done to my legs. I still didn't know why he'd done it. He was pretty much Sam's angel, and God knows (pun not intended) he didn't have no obligations to help me. I'd barely said two words to the idjit before he'd worked his angel mojo on me. Him helping Sam or Cas, or even Dean sometimes, was one thing, it was obvious how close they were, but me? I had no clue. Still, I was grateful. Not that I'd ever have myself a moment with Blondie if my life depended on it.

"Sit down, dinner's ready," I said later, pulling the steak out of the oven.

They obediently moved from where they'd been leaning against the counter and sat down across from each other at the small kitchen table. After putting the steak on a plate and the mashed potatoes in a bowl, I sat them both on the table and handed plates to the two angels, instructing them to fix a plate. They'd been living here along with Sam and Dean while the five of us had been trying to track the Horsemen, but never before now had they come down to eat dinner.

"Bobby, I believe dinner is ill," Cas started worriedly as he looked up from cutting his steak.

"What on earth are you talkin' about?" I asked.

"It's bleeding."

I told myself that banging my head into the wall would only result in cracked plaster, but it didn't make it any less tempting. I sat at the table and loaded a plate down before responding to the confused angel at my left. Dean had a helluva lot more patience for this than I did.

"It's _rare_. It's not _ill_," I explained. "Idjit."

"Oh," he said before going silent again.

"So what's for dessert?" Gabriel asked, and I looked down to see he'd already eaten the mountain of food on his plate.

Cas brooded over at his brother, the former having been delicately nibbling at his food. He was either a picky eater or just didn't have much of an appetite. I tried not to dwell on how royally jacked up this situation was. I was sitting at my dinner table, with two Angels of the freaking _Lord_, listening to one of them bitch about not being able to manifest dessert because of the holy oil ringing the house. Dean would kill to be here for this one.

As if my thought brought it up, Gabriel said offhandedly to Cas, "By the way, Dean sends his regards."

"Tell Sam and Dean I said hello," Cas replied.

I opened my mouth to ask how Gabriel was communicating with Sam, but remembered the bond and closed my mouth. The holy oil didn't deter the mental link, obviously. Not that I hadn't been glad they'd been being so compliant, but I'd been wondering why the two of them hadn't made more of a fuss over the boys. Guess I got my answer. Sam was probably keeping Gabriel posted on everything that was going on.

It was hard to stay mad at the two little idjits. One of them looked like a confused puppy most of the time, and the other had made sure I could walk again even though he didn't have to. I'd taken Dean and Sam in and treated them like they were my own, but fathering two angels had never been part of the plan. But still, I'd started feeling an accidental affection for those two. I pretty much had four sons now. _One big not so happy family, _I mused. _Suck it, Brady Bunch._

* * *

When I finally got to bed, I wasn't asleep long before I heard a loud crash coming from downstairs. _Balls_, I thought. Those angels just couldn't stay out of trouble, could they? I pulled on the clothes I'd been wearing earlier and went downstairs. Then barking, then a…meow? Oh hell's bells, this didn't sound good.

I walked into the living room to find Gabriel running off the neighbor's Labrador, which had seemingly chased a cat through the doggy door. Cas was holding the kitten, glaring at the dog accusingly. Oh great. Now he had an animal fetish. The small calico was clinging to his trench coat for dear life, mewling quietly.

Once the dog was out of sight, I turned back to the two angels. The clock read just after three in the morning. Couldn't one night go right, just _once? _I looked between them, and Cas was too distracted making sure the kitten was alright to pay me any attention. An Angel of the Lord with a pet kitten…that didn't even _sound_ right. Gabriel was watching his brother with amusement and I silently wished Dean and Sam were here to tend to their angels.

Then, sounding like a small child with the hopeful eyes to match, Cas asked, "Can I keep her?"

Balls.

"_My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?_

_That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored."_


	13. Now The Dark Begins To Rise

**Author's Note:**

**I know this is posted later in the day than I usually update, sorry about that. I wrote this chapter once, deleted it, started over, and this is the result! Some cuddling and kitten fluff, two things I am slightly obsessed with. I have three people I would like to dedicate this chapter to, so here goes.**

**Fiona Bee - Robot heads and chocolate cake FTW!**

**Susangel - The flashbacks to both the Bobby/Cas scene you have waited very patiently on and the snowball fight are in here, sorry they are so short! Still hope you like them though :D**

**Gypsy - Thank you for the suggestion for the kitten's name! I changed it only slightly to make it more feminine. Yay for us both sharing a love of Cas + kitten ;-)**

**A note to GhirardelliFan - I still love your username even though I prefer Dove chocolate, but that's just random. Anyways, the wing scene you mentioned will be in the chapter following this one, I promise! The one about Gabe getting told off will mostly likely be in chapter 15 :D**

**A note to all readers: If I have missed a request/suggestion feel free to come after me with virtual torches or just let me know, because I am terribly forgetful. Also my apologies I either don't get a chance to update tomorrow or the update comes rather late in the day, I am trying to finish up my Primeval fic. Oh and the song lyrics are from I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin.**

**Wow, that's one of my longest Author's Notes yet! Personal record, I believe ;-)**

* * *

"_I will not bow, I will not break_

_I will shut the world away_

_I will not fall, I will not fade_

_I will take your breath away."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

I walked into Bobby's house, fingering the ring I had inside my jacket pocket. We'd done it, we'd managed to snag Pestilence's ring. I shared a worried glance with Sam when I heard bickering coming from the kitchen. The voices unmistakably belonged to Bobby and Cas. I tried unsuccessfully not to grin when I heard the latter's voice. Stupid as it sounded since we'd only been gone for three days, I'd missed the little nerdy dude with wings. I also hadn't really liked waking up alone every morning, because damn if his cuddling fetish hadn't rubbed off on me.

"Dean, would you tell your angel that he can _not_ keep it?" Bobby barked angrily, motioning to where Cas was protectively holding a tiny calico kitten.

"Aw, it's so cute!" Sam cooed. He'd always been a sucker for animals but had never been able to have one because we stayed on the road.

I glanced over at Cas and opened my mouth to agree with Bobby, but the protest fell from my lips the second he turned his pleading, bright blue eyes on me. I was a demon hunter, puppy dog eyes shouldn't work on me, dammit! But sure enough, they did. One look at em' and I was gone. I think you would have to be soulless not to give into those puppy dog eyes, they were just too adorable. I mentally cursed Cas for knowing my weak spot. Him and Sammy both knew how to work their puppy dog eyes on me.

"Bobby, it's just a little baby kitten…" I started, and the glare I got from the older hunter was worth the bright smile that lit up Cas' face.

"Cas smiles, alert the media," Gabriel said.

"Yeah Bobby, she's just a baby!" Sam added, motioning to the bundle of fur in the angel's arms.

Gabriel snickered quietly at how disgruntled Bobby was at being outnumbered. I walked over to Cas and smiled at him when he silently mouthed "thank you." It was good to see him again, given that while we'd talked on the phone a good bit, I still hadn't seen him in three days. _Clingy much, Dean? _I asked myself, annoyed. I'd been spending so much time with Cas lately that I'd gotten way too attached.

"Named her yet?" I asked, motioning to his new pet.

He shook his head. "How about Chastity?" I suggested.

If looks could kill, I'd be back in Hell by now.

"We could name her after a porn star," I offered.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"You remember when I told you that I dragged you out of Hell and I could throw you back in?"

"Yep, it's kind of a hard speech to forget."

"That threat still stands."

I nodded. "Okey dokey then, no porn star names."

"How about Snickers? Or maybe Reeses?" Gabriel asked, eating a cupcake and then licking the icing off his fingers.

"Huntress?" Sam piped up.

This time, Cas didn't shoot him down. He paused, did his puppy head tilting thing, and considered it. He looked down at the kitten, which peered back at him with large, jade green eyes. _I can't believe I am watching an Angel of the Lord hold a kitten, _I thought. _I have got to go find myself some entertainment tonight. A nice little blond will do quite nicely, _I continued to muse.

"Huntress it is," Cas declared, scratching her head and smiling a little when it elicited a loud purr.

"Well hey there, Huntress," I grinned.

* * *

Later, I talked Cas into watching a movie with us all. It wasn't much, just a random horror movie, but it was a Friday night tradition in the Singer home when we were all there. Bobby took up his usual armchair, I sat on one end of the couch with Cas next to me (and his newfound pet curled up in his lap asleep), and Sam sat on the other end with Gabriel on the floor in front of him, leaning back against Sammy's legs. Three demon hunters, an archangel, an angel, and a kitten. Yep, definitely sounds like family night with the Winchesters.

Half way through _House of Wax, _and oh did that movie bring back bad memories of when I'd almost gotten wasted by Paris Hilton, Cas dozed off against my shoulder. I sighed and lifted my arm up, laughing quietly when he snuggled up against my side in his sleep. I didn't want to admit it, but I'd missed his weird love of cuddling. I'd kept waking up expecting to find an angel curled up with me and felt an irrational pang of loneliness when he wasn't there.

Bobby was snoring in his armchair, Gabriel looked on the verge of falling asleep, and Sam was already long gone into the land of dreams, which knowing him probably involved rainbows and unicorns. I wrapped my arm around Cas as he contently remained tucked against my side.

I smiled when I remembered how when we'd been hunting Pestilence, Sam had mentioned he was glad Cas had become the baby brother of the family. Apparently Sammy was sick of being the "baby" of the house. Leaning the side of my face against the top of Cas' head, which was surprisingly comfortable, I closed my eyes and thought of the snowball fight that had went down the other week.

"_What was that for?" Cas had asked when I hit him smack dab in the face with a snowball._

"_It's a snowball fight!" Gabriel explained, scowling when he got a face full of snow thanks to Sammy._

"_What is the purpose of this exercise?" he asked, deadpan as usual._

"_It's fun," I replied._

_I looked up to see a snowball the size of a basketball hovering above my head, and when I looked over at Cas, I saw that he was using his hand to manipulate it. So maybe teaching an angel about snowball fights wasn't such a great idea after all. A moment later, the whole thing crashed down on my head, covering my face and hair in snow. Damn it was cold._

"_This is war, Cas," I said. It then went from snowball fight, to snowball war, all the way to snowball Apocalypse._

**Bobby's P.O.V. (The Following Morning)**

When I woke up, I yawned and stretched before looking over at the couch. They all looked like a bunch of girls having a slumber party. Dean was still on one end of the couch with his pet angel snuggled up to him, both of their breathing deep and even. Gabriel's head was in Sam's lap, the blond hair mussed and awry. I shook my head but let them all sleep, deciding not to wake them up. The idjits didn't get enough sleep anyways. I looked at Cas one more time before wandering into the kitchen to scrounge together some coffee.

Every time I looked at the little fella, all I could think about was when Dean and Sam had been zapped in my Gabriel, the older of the two cradling the youngest angel's dead body in his arms. All three of them had visibly been crying. I hadn't even bothered asking if Cas was dead, I knew better. They'd been crying, the body was ashen grey…there had been no doubt he was gone.

I'd wiped my eyes, surprised to find myself tearing up a little too. I hadn't even realized it, but the angel was just as much of a family member as Sam and Dean. From the confused head tilting to the deadpan humor, Castiel was a member of this family. We all loved him. I had recalled all too quickly when we had burned the picture after Ellen and Jo died. I'd felt a deep rush of regret when I had realized that Sam, Dean and me were the only ones from that photograph that were still alive.

Returning to the present, I absently glanced out the window as I sipped the very bad coffee I'd brewed. Something caught my eye. A man with a skinny frame, white skin, and wiry black hair was walking towards the house. It was not only his appearance or too graceful walk that unnerved me, though. Sam and Dean had told me what someone looked like, and the man outside fit the description perfectly.

Dariel was here.

"_Now the dark begins to rise_

_Save your breath it's far from over_

_Leave the lost and dead behind _

_Now's your chance to run for cover."_


	14. Where Is Your God?

**Author's Note:**

**Drama and angst ahead! The flashback scene is dedicated to Susangel for the idea, and the wing scene of Gabriel is dedicated to GhirardelliFan as it was her idea :D I apologize if this chapter is too confusing for anyone, all the ties and alliances and whatnot are explained in the following one! I was having a little spurt of writer's block when I wrote this, so feel free to yell at me for it. Song lyrics are from the wonderful song Hurricane by Thirty Seconds To Mars.**

**Thank you to all the readers and reviewers :-)**

* * *

"_Tell me would you kill to save a life?_

_Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?_

_Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn_

_The hurricane's chasing us underground."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

The presence of another angel jolted me awake, and I was already on my feet when Bobby said Dariel was here. I did swift mental calculations of how long we had before he found a way inside. The holy oil Bobby had ringed the house with when Sam and Dean had been away had long since dried and wouldn't be of any use, but I'd carved sigils into the house that would deter Dariel. We maybe had half an hour at best.

"What can I do?" Dean asked after glancing out the kitchen window and seeing the problem.

"Have Gabriel get you, Sam, Robert and Huntress out of here. Now."

I'd had my back turned to him when I spoke, and he grabbed my arm and turned me around, forcing me to look at him. "No. We're not leaving you here."

I searched his eyes, seeing how sincerely he wanted to remain here. I could technically just transport him somewhere to keep him out of harm's way, which was my first instinct, but then again I had to consider how useful Dean could be in the fight. He was a trained hunter that had multiple skills. I sighed quietly before responding.

"Dean, you have to make me a promise," I started, taking his hands.

Suspicion danced in his eyes. "What?"

"If I tell you to go, you _go_."

"I don't care if it starts raining jellybeans and feather boas, I'm not going anywhere," he replied flatly.

Again, I stared at him deeply. I knew there was no changing his mind. I nodded slowly, and he gave my hands a tight squeeze before releasing them. I wanted to say more, but we wouldn't have long before Dariel found a way inside. I pulled my blade from the waistband of my slacks, hand tight around the hilt. Pressure built on either side of my spine, my wings aching to come out. Gabriel was standing next to Sam, his slender finger running down the surface of the blade he held.

This would be the beginning of a war. I was certain of it. My eyes fell closed as matte black wings released from my back, and Gabriel followed suit, his massive wings unfurling on either side of him. They were beautiful, my brother's wings. The wings of any angel were something to behold, but Gabriel's were particularly captivating.

They were such a dark brown they were nearly black, with glossy highlights the same amber color as his vessel's eyes. Everything about him seemed to have a glow to it, from the majestic form of his wings, to the lethal blade he held with such a firm grasp that his knuckles were white, to his slicked back blond hair. Even his eyes seemed to be lit up. I knew why. Our true forms were showing through.

"Let him in," I commanded. We couldn't run forever.

"Uh, hate to break it to ya chuckles, but it's more like let _them _in," Dean corrected, staring out the window, his gaze fixed on something far more serious than the dirty pane that separated us from an army of Heaven.

"He's brought the entirety of his Garrison," Gabriel said.

"We'll take them on. We'll take them _all_ on," I said in a statement very highly resembling something I'd once said to Dean about holding off an archangel.

I waved my hand, banishing the sigils ringing the house. Dariel materialized in the center of the room, his silvery black wings bristling with anticipation, causing Huntress to run and hide under the table. His alliances flanked him shortly after. I stared at him with a clear in my eyes that he hastened to accept. He drew his blade, and the six angels surrounding him followed his example. I assumed this was only part of the assembly he had with him; Garrisons consisted of anything from ten to sometimes one hundred angels. His was somewhere in between.

My wings, which had been on either side of me, snapped upwards the closer he came. I flipped the blade around in my hand, excitement and bloodlust coursing through my veins. This son of a bitch had tried to kill my _brother_. If only he had any idea just who he was dealing with.

"Unless you strongly wish to die tonight, Dariel, I strongly suggest you back down," I growled, walking forwards with Dean, Sam and Gabriel closely following.

"Not a chance," he hissed.

In a simple wave of my hand, I had knocked his blade from his hand and sent him flying across the room, crashing into the bookcase. Power surged within me, desperate for release as adrenaline pumped through my blood. I picked up the blade he'd dropped, now holding one in each hand.

"You have one more chance to rethink that decision," I intoned in a low, dangerous voice.

"Oh you think you're really something, don't you Castiel?" he asked, suddenly in front of me, so close I could feel his breath on my face.

I dug one of the blades into his wings, twisting it and smirking in a cruel satisfaction when he dropped to his knees in front of me. I ripped the blade out, only to plunge it back in, ripping into the tender flesh of the wing. As Dean would say, karma's a bitch. I placed a sharp kick to his chest, watching as he fell onto his back, writhing with the pain of his torn wings. The sight brought back a fragmented memory, engulfing my mind before I could think to stop it.

"_Tell me what you were going to tell Dean Winchester," Dariel hissed, digging the blade into every sensitive area he could reach._

"_Never," I spat._

_After speaking with the older Winchester in the dream, I'd been ripped from my vessel and forced back to Heaven, only to be tortured and interrogated until pain was ripping my mind inside out. I had known it was risky, trying to warn Dean, but I'd wanted to at least try. My efforts had been in vain. I was now restrained beyond hope, being cut into with my own blade._

"_Let's try this again," my torturer said quietly, slicing into my left wing with the blade and causing me to scream out in agony, "What were you going to tell him."_

_Something I'd once heard Dean say came to mind and seemed like an apt response. "Fuck you."_

_It could have been anywhere from a day to decade that they spent torturing and carving me, slowly reducing me to nothing but one of their minions with no mind of my own. They'd stripped me down to the very essence of who I was, leaving behind nothing but an empty shell animated solely by the vicious orders of Heaven. When I returned to Earth in Claire Novak's body, and then Jimmy's, I was completely hardened against mankind._

_Yet still, when it came down to Dean really and truly needing me, I again found my way. I thought I was too programmed to ever be helped, but he showed me just how very wrong I was. I'd rebelled, died, been brought back, and didn't regret a moment of it. And it was all thanks to the demon hunter that had convinced me to rebel in the first place. Only a very special human could make one of God's creations turn his back on Heaven, bur true to his headstrong nature, he'd managed it._

When I returned my thoughts to the chaotic events in the present, I was no longer the tortured angel, but the warrior amidst a battle. Gabriel was holding his own extremely well against the angels that had come here with Dariel. I tossed the second blade I'd gotten off of my former torturer to Dean, who caught it and immediately stabbed one of the angels through the heart. Gabriel slid an angel's blade from the dead hand of a fallen enemy and tossed it to Sam, who like his brother, didn't hesitate to partake in the slaughtering of my former brethren. My brother also threw a blade to Bobby, who sliced the throat of an angel coming too near. More angels appeared, but in the end, the only one left alive was Dariel.

I stood over him, getting a morbid pleasure out of the dread that colored his eyes when he looked from side to side and saw that his army had been reduced to nothing but a pile of corpses at the hand of two angels and three fiercely loyal humans. Dean came up behind me and took my hand, squeezing it briefly. The feathers of Gabriel's wings brushed lightly against my back in a gesture only an angel would understand the meaning of. Even Sam rested a hand on my shoulder for a moment, his large hand surprisingly gentle.

I knew these were gestures of sympathy. Because though I would not admit to grief, I had just slain a number of my brothers and sisters. They would have killed us all had they not been killed first, but they at still been my family a very long time ago. Now, I had one more thing to do: Figure out what I was going to do with Dariel after I was done questioning him. The angel blade had done enough damage to leave him immobilized, so I had time to think on it. He was hiding something, that much was obvious, and I had every intentions of figuring out exactly what that was.

I left him laid out in the living room floor before wandering upstairs to Dean's room. I was slowly becoming more of one with my vessel, resulting in human tiredness. Fatigue settled in as I perched on the edge of the bed. Dean, Sam, Bobby and Gabriel had offered to take care of the bodies, so I'd let them. Before I realized what I was doing, I laid down on the bed, exhaustion pulling my eyes closed.

They fluttered open again a moment later when a presence entered the room. I looked up at Dean as he laid down next to me. Giving a small nod of acknowledgment when he said the bodies were gone, I pulled myself close to him, burying my face in his shoulder. Weakness should not be an issue right now, but I was so tired I could barely hold my eyes open.

"Cas?"

"Hm?" I murmured sleepily.

The blood drained from my face when I looked up and saw the wicked grin curving his mouth. If there was only one thing I was completely certain of, it was that this wasn't Dean. The cruel gleam in his eyes, the smirk twisting his lips…I knew it wasn't him. Nausea pooled in my gut when his features melted away to reveal the angel underneath. Short brown hair, a vessel that was slowly coming apart at the seams due to not being durable enough to contain its angel…I recognized every single part of the evil creature before me.

When I said his name, it came out as a choked whisper that sounded like that of a frightened child.

"Lucifer."

"_No matter how many deaths that I die I will never forget _

_No matter how many lives that I live I will never regret _

_There is a fire inside of the heart and a riot about to explode into flames _

_Where is your God? Where is your God? Where is your God?" _


	15. The Trench Is Dug Within Our Hearts

**Author's Note:**

**More drama like the last chapter, sorry for that. Bobby is absent for this chapter, but he'll be back in the next one, I promise! Gabriel will also get told off (sorry it's taking so long, GhirardelliFan) in the chapter following this one. The Dariel scene is a brilliant idea by the lovely Suzy, who is just generally amazing :-)**** Lyrics are from Sunday, Bloody Sunday by U2.**

**Thanks to all of my wonderful reviewers :D**

* * *

"_I can't believe the news today_

_Oh, I can't close my eyes and make it go away_

_How long…how long must we sing this song?_

_How long, how long_

'_Cause tonight…we can be as one tonight."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

I walked back in after we finally finished up with the bodies, wanting nothing more than to get a hot shower, crawl in bed with Cas, and sleep for a few hours. Dariel was still on the floor, immobilized, so we could deal with him in the morning. Sammy had already collapsed on the couch asleep and Gabriel was draped over the armchair sideways, his legs over one arm and neck rested on the other. Judging from his breathing, he was sound asleep.

I glanced at the clock above the fireplace and saw it was four thirty in the morning. Oh yeah, time to get some sleep. Cas was probably already asleep, as much as he'd been going through lately.

After getting out of the shower, I crawled into bed next to him, and he looked up at me, blinking sleepily. I stretched out and lifted an arm up so he could curl up next to me like always and furrowed my brow confusedly when he remained where he was. That was weird. Normally I barely had time to get laid down before he was snuggling up to his own personal teddy bear.

Still, I didn't press the issue, simply turned over on my side and closed my eyes. He was on the opposite side of the bed, and I found his absence disconcerting. He was in the room of course, on the bed even, but I was used to him and his love of cuddling. It was awhile before I finally drifted off to sleep, with my thoughts clouded with confusion.

I expected to wake up and find his head on my shoulder, but no. He wasn't even there. I ignored and swallowed back the small pang of disappointment I felt. I walked downstairs and found him standing in the kitchen, Huntress growling quietly at him. This was getting weirder by the minute. Since when did she growl at _him_? Huntress loved Cas to death.

"We should dispose of Dariel," he said in a flat monotone.

My head snapped up. His voice sent a shiver snaking down my spine, leaving my entire body ice cold. It wasn't Jimmy's higher, brighter voice nor was it Cas' deep timbre. It was a blank, emotionless voice with no certain qualities. The only defining feature it had was a certain cool, calculating note to it. I'd heard that voice before and couldn't figure out where for the life of me.

"Cas…what's wrong?" I asked slowly. There was no way this was a demon, they couldn't posses angels, he'd told me that once. But something was _definitely_ wrong.

"Nothing, Dean."

With that, he left me standing in the kitchen alone (unless you count Huntress) to stare after him in shock. Whatever that was, it wasn't Cas. He showed no interest in cuddling, his cat was hissing and spitting at him, and I'd seen more expressive brick walls. The only issue was I had no idea what was going on. If there was anything I couldn't stand, it was being left in the dark. Well, that and blueberry pie, but I've always been more of an apple person.

I decided maybe Sam would know something, and went to search him out.

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"Gabr…iel…somethins…wr'ng…" I was mostly incoherent as I spoke.

My stomach felt like it was twisting inside out, but I could feel the part of his grace inside me, and it was coiling up like a repulsed human would. The result was throwing my entire equilibrium out of balance. I opened my mouth to say something else, only to close it again when another wave of nausea hit me.

"I feel it too Sammy. Something's really jacked up," he said, voice thick with pain. "It's the grace. Normally angels can feel an evil presence through our grace, and because it's in you, you can feel it. Our bodies normally don't react this bad unless we're near something extremely evil. Last time my grace reacted this way was when I had a run in with Lilith a few thousand years ago," he said.

"Sam, what's wrong?" Dean asked, walking into the room and seeing my presumably pained expression.

"It's the grace, we feel something. Dean, I don't know what or who it is, but something's in this house. Something evil," Gabriel explained.

"Yeah, I know something's not right. It's Cas," Dean said, running his fingers through his short but disheveled hair.

"Maybe Dariel knows something," I offered, the sickness slowly wearing off.

"Let's go find out," Gabriel said, going into the living room with the Dean and I at his heels.

"Oh look, it's the nitwit brigade," Dariel sneered.

I sighed, threw some holy oil in his face, and waited patiently for him to stop screaming in agony. There. Now maybe he would learn to keep his mouth shut. Doubtful, but hey, why not be optimistic for a change. I then decided that Gabriel and his sarcasm was rubbing off on me too much.

"What's going on with Castiel?" I asked.

"As if I would tell you," the angel spat.

Gabriel took the knife still lodged in the angel's wing and pulled it down, tearing through the tender flesh and soft layer of feathers. Again, Dariel screamed, arching off the ground as pain took him over. Dean smirked triumphantly at the display.

"Shame I can't move, or I would torture you all like I did your sweet little Castiel," Dariel said, smiling wickedly as the pain subsided enough for him to speak.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean growled.

"Oh, did he never tell you?" he asked with mock surprise. His words were punctuated by a harsh bark of a laugh. "Do you really think he would have turned on you had some work not been done first? He was dead set on helping you idiots, but we fixed him up rather nicely."

I took a deep breath upon realizing what he was talking about. When Cas had been pulled from Jimmy's body, he hadn't just randomly went missing; he'd been tortured. All because he'd tried to help Dean and me. Guilt and anger welled up inside me, fueled by the agitated grace that I shared with Gabriel. I realized I was feeling not only _my _guilt and anger, but his too.

"Oh you are going to die _slowly_, you sorry-"

"Dean," I said, cutting him off, "I want to kill him too, and we will, but not before we get answers."

"He's right. Let's torture some information out of the son of a bitch, and _then_ kill him," Gabriel said, eyes flashing with malice as they fixed on Dariel.

"Now that is something I can get on board with," Dean said, taking the angel blade Gabriel held out and dipping it in holy oil before slicing into Dariel's arm with it.

"Fine, fine, stop!" he yelled as the blood spilled from the wound and pooled underneath him.

"Ready to talk?" I asked.

"No…just kill me why don't you…" he hissed through his teeth.

"Hmm…no," Gabriel replied brightly, bringing his foot down hard on the angel's face and smiling when Dariel cried out.

"Okay…okay. You want to know what's wrong with your angel?" he finally asked, looking up at Dean.

"Well yeah Sherlock, that's the idea," my brother said, heavily sarcastic.

"Castiel's not in there anymore."

"Then who is?" we all three asked in perfect unison.

The voice that replied did not belong to the broken angel at our feet. It was a cold, toneless voice that sent yet another round of sickness rocketing through me. It was so strong I could barely stay upright. The side effects of the grace were effecting me worse because I was human and not as durable as an angel. Gabriel had told me as much once.

"See, boys, here's the brilliant little thing," the thing in Cas started. "A _human_ must say yes to an angel before possession. And an _angel_ cannot posses another angel. But guess what? If they are half human, and half angel, then not only can we possess them, but we don't need their permission. And the half angel part makes the vessel plenty strong enough to contain me."

"Who are you?" Gabriel asked, unsheathing his blade.

The angel inside of Cas pouted mockingly. "Don't recognize me, little brother?"

A painfully strong onslaught of fear and recognition pounded into me through the bond. Gabriel definitely knew who this was. His grip was so tight on his angel killing blade that my own hand started aching. He was pale to the point of gaunt, his eyes dark with a mixture of terror and despise. When he spoke, it was with false casualness.

"Hey there, Luci."

"Get the hell out of Cas!" Dean screamed, lunging for the much older angel.

Gabriel grabbed my brother and pulled him backwards, and I sent the archangel my gratitude telepathically. Lucifer wouldn't hesistate to kill Dean, that much was glaringly obvious. The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and it felt as solid as the fallen angel that caused it.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Lucifer said smugly when Gabriel started coming forwards with his blade raised. "You don't want to kill Cas, do you?"

Then, things started coming unraveled. Lucifer waved his hand, using the grace inside Gabriel and I to bring us to our knees in unbearable pain. We were helplessly immobile with no chance of moving. With a simple flick of a finger, the angel had Dean knelt on the floor as well, pinning him with unimaginable power. I tried to get to Gabriel through the bond, tried to do anything to make myself useful, but I was slowly but surely going unconscious.

As a haze of delusion wafted over me, I looked behind Lucifer and saw…no, that was impossible. Someone was silently walking up behind the Morningstar, an angel killing blade held at the ready. Well, that was what I thought I saw. It wasn't possible that the image was real, though. The angel met my eyes over Lucifer's shoulder and pressed a finger to his lips, instructing me to be silent.

As impossible as it seemed…I could swear it was Castiel.

"_And the battle's just begun_

_There's many lost, but tell me who has won_

_The trench is dug within our hearts_

_And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart_

_Sunday, bloody Sunday."_


	16. Raise Your Hands To The Sky

**Author's Note:**

**I'm having a little issue I like to call Writer's Block. This chapter is dull and anticlimactic, and for that I apologize very much. I am more of a fluff/angst person than a drama/action person, so this chapter is severely lacking! The following one will be back to my usual style of fluffiness though. It would have been more dramatic, but I was sick of "dealing" with Lucifer and thought: Let's just get it over with!**

**The scene where Gabe (hmm, still getting used to that nickname, I'm not quite sure if I like it yet) gets told off is dedicated to GhirardelliFan for her request, and his reflections on Lucifer being in Cas' body is dedicated to Suzy for the same reason :D Lyrics are from This Is War by Thirty Seconds To Mars.**

**Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, so sorry for how disappointing this chapter is and how long it took to update! **

**P.S. If all of you abandon me after this awful chapter, I will be very sad, but I can't say I blame you :/**

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"_It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie_

_And the moment to live and the moment to die_

_The moment to fight, the moment to fight_

_To fight, to fight, to fight_

_To the right, to the left_

_We will fight to the death."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

My feet made no sound as I walked up behind Lucifer. He possessed my copy, just as he was meant to. If only he knew that the voice in his head, the one begging to be let out, was merely a trick. As was the body he possessed, it was all a trick. _That's what you get for trying to possess the brother of a Trickster, bitch, _I thought in a way all too similar to what Dean would say. Sam had looked at me briefly with confusion before his eyes closed and his body succumbed to Lucifer's influence.

Right before Gabriel fell unconscious too, he glanced at me with love and pride glittering in his eyes. He had good reason to be proud. He'd taught me the very thing I was doing, using a copy of myself as a distraction while my real self moved in for the kill. Dean was the only one still awake, and from the angle he was at, he couldn't yet see me. Bobby had walked in on the scene, only to fall under Lucifer's spell and go unconscious. Now it was only me, Dean, and the devil.

The Morningstar slowly strode over to Dean, raising his hand and preparing for the kill as if the hunter was nothing more than dirt on the bottom of his shoe. The hunter's eyes flicked over to mine for a split second before he returned his gaze to Lucifer, careful not to give me away. I was amazed this trick had even worked.

When I'd first seen Lucifer after he dropped the disguise, I'd used my powers to swap my own body out for a copy so fast that not even his eyes had detected it. Now I was slowly creeping up behind my identical doppelganger, ready to end all of this once and for all. To stop the Apocalypse, to stop the war that had been tearing the Earth apart.

"Hey, assbutt!"

Lucifer turned around at the sound of my voice. He raised his hand, presumably to immobilize me, but in a movement almost too fast for human eyes to follow, I severed his hand from his arm with my blade. Gruesome but necessary. I raised an eyebrow challengingly, having picked up some of the expressions Dean adopted while fighting.

"Well you've learned to fight, I will give you that, Castiel," the older angel murmured, gritting his teeth as blood coated his handless arm.

"He's not the only one."

Lucifer and I both turned to see Gabriel standing on his feet, his blade glittering in his hand. Once Lucifer had gotten distracted, the spell keeping them down had worn off and soon the Winchesters were up as well. As Dean would say: Lucifer was screwed. I was surprised to find a morbid pleasure in seeing the Morningstar outnumbered. Did I mention I'd lured him into a circle of holy oil? Smiling wickedly, I stepped out of the trap I'd lured him into and snapped, igniting it and trapping him.

"Not so tough now, huh?" Dean mocked from where he stood at my side.

His hand found mine, the one not holding the blade, and gave it a tight squeeze. It was simple but openly conveyed his relief at seeing me alive and not possessed. I grasped it tightly in return. When all of this was over, I wanted to crawl in bed to cuddle with Dean and Huntress, sleep until I couldn't sleep any longer, and eat chocolate until my stomach ached. Overly indulgent, yes, but we'd earned it.

"So, Luci, whatcha gonna do now?" Gabriel asked with a mocking tone to mirror Dean's.

"Yeah, what's up your sleeve this time, ya idjit?" Bobby added.

"Tone down the fire, Gabriel," I commanded, and Sam, Dean and Bobby covered their ears.

My true voice was trying to come through, and the windows shook when I spoke. Light fixtures blew with loud cracking sounds as shadows of my wings reflected on the wall behind me. Either side of my spine tensed slightly before they folded out of the flesh, arching up gracefully. Gabriel's wings were also released, his eyes flashing as he used his powers to lower the fire.

The energy of two furious, bloodthirsty angels was starting to overwhelm the room. The windows shattered one my one, the remainders of the light fixtures blew up, leaving us illuminated solely by the holy fire. Gabriel's skin glowed white, our true forms desperately trying to escape our vessels. I was nearly completely one with my body, but that didn't prevent the sheer power of our forms from reacting to the intensity of our emotions.

Within a few moments, I was standing before Lucifer, who was totally powerless within the fire. Technically so was I, but I had something he didn't. The blade of an archangel. Gabriel had willingly given me his blade to destroy Lucifer with. A flash of déjà vu caught me as I readied the blade for the kill. Once, our roles had been reversed. I had been trapped in a circle of holy fire, he had been the one with the power. Not anymore. He was weaker than ever.

"So. This is what you've reduced yourself to, Castiel? Fighting the battles of a wily archangel and two idiotic demon hunters?" Lucifer asked quietly.

"Watch it," I spat, pressing the tip of the blade to his chest, right above the heart, "That's _my_ wily archangel and _my_ idiotic demon hunters you're talking about."

Without further ado, I shoved the blade down, right into the Morningstar's heart. White light engulfed the room, and Sam and Dean closed their eyes to prevent being blinded. Gabriel and I, on the other hand, watched the light drain from Lucifer's eyes with satisfaction. The empty corpse dropped to the ground, devoid of any signs of life. _That was for my brother, _I thought as I stared down at the fallen angel, his wings burned into ground beneath him.

"It's over," I said, my voice no longer so powerful that it was shattering glass.

Stepping over Lucifer's corpse, Gabriel folded me into both his arms and his wings, and mine wrapped around his in return. A common angelic gesture of love and comfort. I rested my head on his shoulder, taking a deep breath, which was a human mannerism I'd picked up along the way. I'd expected to be wired after killing the Morningstar, but I actually felt eerily calm. It even prompted me to ask something I never thought I would.

"Gabriel?" I asked so quietly that only he could hear.

"Hm?"

"All those years ago…why did you leave me?"

The question was irrelevant to the current situation, but the hurt, abandoned child that I'd kept locked away for all of these years was showing through. I'd wanted answers for so long that I couldn't resist finally asking. He pulled back slightly so he could look me in the eyes.

"Cas," he started softly, "Dariel told me if I didn't stay away that he'd kill us both. I am so, so sorry. I wanted nothing more than to come back to you, and when I finally did…" he trailed off and gently touched the scars on my back through the fabric of my shirt and trench coat. He needn't say more, I knew what that meant.

I returned my head to his shoulder as a reply. Just like our winged embrace did, it had a silent meaning that we both understood. _I forgive you, brother. I love you. _We held on for several more moments before finally releasing each other, tucking our wings against our backs. He smiled at me warmly, a smile I didn't hesitate to return. I finally understood why humans smiled.

Lucifer was dead. I had my brother back. The Apocalypse was over. Yes, I definitely knew why humans smiled.

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Cas, you look like Hell," I commented as we got ready for bed. Too tired to do anything else, I simply stripped down to my jeans before flopping onto the bed. I flicked off the lamp when he laid down next to me.

"Presumably."

"So, Lucifer's dead, you don't have to save the world anymore…what are your plans?" I asked, pretending to be casual but dreading the answer.

He curled up against me as usual while he thought about this. I didn't know why I even bothered asking. I already knew what he was going to say. His work here was done, he could go back to Heaven. After a few centuries he would probably forget I'd even existed, forget about all we'd gone through together.

"We could go back to that nightclub, I suppose."

I looked down at him, surprised. The tiniest ray of hope lit up in me, but I squashed it before it had a chance to grow. There was no way he was talking about what I thought he was talking about. I had never been an optimist, and I sure as Hell wasn't starting now, I'd only end up painfully disappointed.

"What's wrong, Dean?" he asked, changing positions so he was laying on his side.

I mirrored him and turned on my side so I could face him. We were a mere few inches apart, so close that I could see the blue of his eyes even in the mostly dark room. I swallowed hard and fought for my composure. When he'd once said that he was happy here with me, I thought it was too good to be true. Now I was actually considering that he was here to stay.

"You're staying?" I whispered quietly.

"Of course I am. My entire family's here," he replied as if he couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

An openly affectionate smile formed on my lips as I trailed my fingers down the side of his face in a feather light touch. He closed his eyes as my fingers touched his skin. The gentle motions seemed to lull him to sleep, because soon, he was out like a light and cuddling up against my chest in his sleep. He murmured something into my chest that was muffled, but I could still here the four words that meant more to me than the sleeping angel could ever possibly understand.

"I love you, Dean."

**Gabriel's P.O.V. (The Following Day)**

I slept better than I ever had before. Lucifer was dead, and Cas didn't hate me. Hell, what more could I ask for? Well, some cupcakes, but I could just manifest some of those. Wandering downstairs with a large cupcake in tow, I saw Dean and Cas snuggled up together on the couch, deep in conversation about something or another. It could be anything, knowing those two.

It was good to see my little brother not possessed. When I'd seen Lucifer in Cas' body, I had felt fear deep within me because not only was it Lucifer, but to kill him I had to kill my baby brother. Weak as it sounded, and even though I knew it was the devil we were talking about, I don't think I could have done that to Castiel.

I couldn't bear the thought of losing him again, and I knew I couldn't have possibly killed him _myself_. The mere thought sent a shudder running through me. I was jolted from my bitter musings by a message through the bond.

_So I talked to Cas, and you will never guess what he told me_, Sam sent from the kitchen.

_What? _I replied, taking a bite of my cupcake.

_Some other angels from his old Garrison heard about him killing Lucifer and wanted to come check on him. Looks like all angels except for you and Cas aren't dicks after all._

_Which ones?_

_He mentioned something about receiving a message from someone named Tatiana._

_Ah, she's always been…fun, _I lied.

I could tell he was laughing. _She hates you, doesn't she?_

_Yep._

I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table with him, cringing at the sight of the bacon he was eating. Ugh. Why eat that stuff when there was sugar available? Humans were so confusing sometimes. Licking the remaining icing off my fingers, I sighed happily. If there was anything I loved more than chocolate bars, it was cupcakes.

"So, we should celebrate," Dean said as he walked in. "We all pretty much just crashed and burned last night, but this deserves a celebration."

"Ditto," I agreed.

"Aw, you guys were planning a party and didn't invite little old me?" asked a mock offended voice.

I turned to see Tatiana walk in, her vessel's light brown hair cascading over her shoulders in soft waves. And weirdly enough, she had purple eyes. Freaky. I offered a wave, but she shot me a glare that I'm surprised didn't turn me into a pile of dust right then and there. She'd always hated me for leaving Cas, and then hated me even more when she found out about me turning into The Trickster. I got to my feet and waited for the onslaught.

"Alright look, you sorry bastard," she spat, walking over and poking me hard in the chest. Uh oh. Here it comes. "You _ditched _Cas! You kill people like it's some big _joke_! And then you have the nerve to act like everything is just _peachy_? You sorry son of a bitch!"

I smiled sheepishly and manifested another cupcake. "Um, want a cupcake?"

Her response was slapping me so hard my face snapped to one side. I noticed Sam rubbing his cheek, having also felt it through the bond. Tatiana continued ranting, not even realizing Cas had walked in.

"Hello, sister."

She stopped mid rant to look at Cas before squealing happily. She had forever looked at Cas as a big brother, and he didn't seem all that surprised when she flung herself at him in a bone crushing hug. Good things angels don't have to breathe. They exchanged greetings before he caught her up on everything that had been going on, and then she explained that while a few other members of her Garrison had intended on coming along, she was the only one that had been able to make it.

"So, you boys need some help getting rid of these two?" she asked as we stood in the living room.

She was talking about Lucifer and Dariel. The latter had died from the multiple wounds to his wings and vessel at some point during the fight with Lucifer, and now we had two dead angels to take care of. Mine and Cas' powers were obviously still intact, but they were currently wavering slightly as we settled more permanently into our vessels. Tatiana, on the other hand, had all of her powers right at her fingertips.

With a simple flick of her fingers, the bodies vanished into thin air. Another small hand motion and all the blown light fixtures and shattered windows were repaired. She glanced over at Cas and Dean, who were standing close to each other talking quietly. Bobby came in and introduced himself to the female angel, who only smiled and said "Ah, you're the idjit man."

"Uh, you could call me that," the older hunter said, clearly trying to be polite to the newcomer. _Such a gentleman_, I scoffed internally.

"Don't mind Bobby, he's still not quite used to angel lingo," I piped up.

"Why don't you shut your trap, boy?" Bobby replied tartly.

Tatiana grinned and attempted to diffuse the small argument between Bobby and I. "So, about that celebration?"

"_I do believe in the light, raise your hands to the sky_

_The fight is done, the war is won_

_Lift your hands toward the sun."_


	17. If You Need Someone Just To Be Around

**Author's Note:**

**Warnings: Drunk demon hunters and angels, fluff/cuddling overload, Dean being OOC (well, he's always OOC when I write him, sorry for that) and poor emotionally damaged little Cas.**

**The group scene at the end is a request from Suzy that was very fun to write, I apologize if all the fluff gets annoying to all of you readers, but I love writing fluff! I am upset at SPN season 6 for the severe lack of Dean/Cas or Sam/Cas fluff (though the almost hug in 6x12 was precious) and Cas scenes in general, so this overly fluffy fic is my way of making up for the loss of adorable scenes lately. Song lyrics are from That's What I'm Here For by Jason Castro.**

**Note to cheryl24's anonymous review: Yes, he will be showing up soon, either in the chapter after this one or the one following it ;-)**

**Thank you all for not abandoning me because of the chapter before this one, you are completely amazing!**

* * *

"_I heard you saying that you're finally feeling free_

_Blowing kisses to the distant memories_

_Lately I've caught you smiling a little more_

_You're beautiful, and I'm all yours."_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"Here's to stopping the Apocalypse," I said, holding up my shot glass.

"I'll drink to that," Dean said, and the others nodded their agreement, clinking our glasses together before downing them.

"Here's to cupcakes and evil assbutts getting fried extra crispy," Gabriel added as we ordered round two.

We all practically rolled our eyes in unison but still knocked the shots back. We must all make a pretty interesting image sitting at the bar together. Me, Gabriel, Dean, Castiel, Tatiana, and Bobby. What a mismatched group we were. But it was Team Free Will, and that was all that mattered. Well, Team Free Will plus the new ange girll that had tagged along to have drinks with us in the same nightclub we'd used to celebrate Gabriel being alive.

"So, um…what round is this?" I asked, countless drinks later. All of us were six kinds of hammered.

"Couldn't tell ya, Sammy," Gabriel slurred, taking another shot.

"Anything else I can get you all?" the bartender asked, making eyes at Dean.

"That depends, sweetheart. When do you get off?" he replied, his pick-up lines just as bad when he was drunk as they were when he was sober.

"Well before you two start banging each other on the bar, I for one and am going to have a little fun," I said, getting to my feet and stumbling slightly before offering a hand to Gabriel.

He happily slid his hand into mine, and it felt tiny and breakable in my much larger one. He also looked really short from waaaay up here…Oh yeah, I was _smashed_. No doubt about it. My thoughts couldn't even piece themselves together properly, too muddled and tangled with alcohol to form anything coherent. What is it that every time I came to this club I ended up to drunk to see straight? I blamed it on the Purple Nurples.

"So, doya know how to dance, angel boy?" I asked.

He scoffed. "Does it look like I've been living under a Snickers bar for the past several centuries? You know what, don't answer that."

Placebo's _Every Me and Every You _played from the speakers, a strange song but not half bad for dancing. Laughing, I spun Gabriel, twirling him out and back in. It was so easy to physically manipulate him when I was so much taller. Turns out the angel was a pretty good dancer. With Gabriel being Gabriel, I seriously doubted this was his first time at a club.

"You think too loud," he commented.

_SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT? _I mentally screamed at him at him, laughing hysterically when he started clutching his head.

_Ow…_he thought.

I just smirked triumphantly and pulled him back into dancing. I heard a quiet chuckling and looked over to see Dean dancing with Cas. I was shocked to see that the latter was actually a damn good little dancer. Even Dean seemed a little surprised, watching as Cas moved effortlessly, his lithe body following the song's rhythm perfectly. Several women were watching Cas' movements with interest.

_Who knew the little nerdy dude with wings could put on a show, _Gabriel sent.

_Yeah, who knew, _I agreed.

**Dean's P.O.V.**

The song changed to Ellie Goulding's _Under The Sheets, _and Cas easily moved to it, possibly even better than he had to the other one. Go figure I had taught him to dance _once_ and now he was…well, not acting like he'd only learned once. He probably didn't even realize that the way he was moving was downright provocative. Hell, I didn't even know _how_ he moved like that. I knew I was a damn good dancer but I didn't think I'd ever seen someone be able to move that away.

_I should get him a pole and some sexy clothes, we'd make a fortune, _I mused. I then noticed one of the women that was watching him. She was gorgeous, with shiny blond hair and a tiny little body. Oh hell. I knew who she was, too. She was in a skimpy white shit paired with too tight black skinny jeans, topped off with overly high heels. It was dark, so she probably didn't even recognize Cas.

Chastity.

"Uh, Cas, we have a problem," I said, grabbing his arm.

He reached for the angel blade tucked into his slacks, but I grabbed his hand to stop him. "Not that kind of problem. I'll give you a hint: She's blond and her dad works at the post office."

Recognition seemed to settle in. "Chastity."

"Yep. Okay chuckles, let's go get more drinks," I said, grabbing his arm and hauling him over to the bar.

"I do not think we need to consume anymore alcohol, Dean," the very drunk angel protested.

"How many have you had?" I laughed despite not having much room to talk.

"Many," he responded gruffly.

"Hello, my drunken comrades," Tatiana chimed, perching on the barstool next to Cas.

"Greetings," I said, lifting my glass in salute.

"So why do you look like you just saw a ghost?" she asked Cas.

"She is not a ghost."

"Demon?" she guessed.

"Whore."

Tatiana blinked. "Ouch. Poor chick. Well I take it you two have a history?"

"We nearly engaged in sexual intercourse."

The female angel nodded knowingly and adopted a sly smile. "Ah. She's the hit it and quit it type?"

"I don't even think they got to second base," I said.

"You mean to tell me our little Cas is still a virgin?" she asked, pouting. "No fun."

"I have merely not found someone whom I wish to lose my…virginity to," Cas said, looking extremely uncomfortable and awkward.

"We really gotta get your cherry popped, bro," Tatiana commented before downing another drink.

Cas' confused head tilt said he didn't know what getting his "cherry popped" even meant.

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

"Dean, I think I am hanged over," I groaned miserably into his chest the next morning.

"Dude, it's _hung_ over. Not hanged over."

I ignored the correction and tried to will away the awful pounding in my head. My head hurt, I was exhausted, and my stomach felt like it was attempted to perform a complex gymnastics routine. Never again was I getting anywhere near alcohol, let alone Nurple Purples. Or was it Purple Nurples? Oh well, I still wasn't _ever_ getting drunk again.

"Come on, let's head downstairs," Dean said, attempting to get to his feet.

I draped an arm over his waist and used my angelic strength to hold him down. I didn't want to get up yet. He sighed but complied, seemingly hanged over as well. It wasn't long before we both fell back asleep, and when I woke up once more I was surprised with what I found.

I was on my back, and in my arms was…Dean. The hunter, the Warrior of God, the fearsome soldier…was cuddling. There was just no other way to describe it. He was pressed up against my side, his head was buried in the sensitive area between my neck and shoulder, and my arms were wrapped loosely around his waist. I didn't know he shared my fondness for cuddling, not that I was complaining, of course.

He shifted slightly, and I worried he was waking up, but he simply moved his head to my chest, his short hair brushing my neck. My hand stroked his spine in a way that seemed oddly natural. He did that to me constantly and I always found it relaxing, so I assumed it would have the same effect on him. Sure enough, he sighed in his sleep and moved closer.

"Cas?" he mumbled sleepily when he finally awoke.

"Yes?"

He jumped when he realized my voice was coming from above him and not below him. He pulled himself onto his elbows and looked at me in surprise. Apparently he hadn't realized our roles had ended up reversed at some point. I didn't mind this new position he was in now, though. He was propped on one elbow, looking down at me, one of his hands still splayed across my chest.

"Uh, sorry about that…"

"Why are you apologizing?" I asked, cocking my head to the left.

He noticed the head tilt and smiled in what looked like pure affection. He leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to my forehead before moving back to his former position on one elbow. The gesture was small and simple, but somehow so very sweet.

"How's that hangover doing?" Dean asked, absently tracing patterns on my chest.

"Fractionally better than it was earlier. You?"

"Same. Anyways, I'm going to get a shower and hunt down some breakfast," he said, gracefully springing from the bed, pulling some clean clothes from his duffel and going into the bathroom.

"So, Cas, Dariel mentioned something before he died…" Sam started as we sat at the table. He was drinking coffee, I was merely keeping him company.

"What was that?" I asked flatly, even though I was already almost fully certain what it was.

"He said that you were tortured in Heaven," Bobby said for Sam as he walked in and sat down at my left.

"I was."

I was surprised when the older hunter laid a hand on my shoulder and looked at me with sympathy. "Why didn't ya tell us, kid? We're your family, Cas. You can tell us anything."

"Bobby's right," Sam added.

"Bobby's right about what?" Dean asked as he walked in, hair dripping wet and soaking his shirt.

"He does not understand why I did not burden all of you with the events following when I was forced from my vessel."

"Burden? You could never be a burden, little brother," Gabriel said. I hadn't even realized he'd been leaning against the wall behind me.

I looked at them all, surprising when my vessel's heart, _my_ heart, gave a little tug. I had never seen so many people so ready to care for me, so ready to let me open up to them without passing a single judgment. All of them were dead serious, even Dean and Gabriel.

A catch caught my throat as I finally realized exactly what family meant. It wasn't blood, wasn't DNA. It was _this_. The love in their eyes, the understanding they were offering…that was family in its truest form. Even Tatiana had walked in and was looking at me with the same open affection.

I went to say something but Sam pulled me out of my chair and into a tight hug, resulting in my feet being several inches of the ground. I didn't complain in the slightest. I found comfort in the younger Winchester's embrace. The tight hug made it a little hard to breathe, but it was still comforting nonetheless. I couldn't help but note how much Sam's gentle nature contrasted with his extremely large body.

Once he released me, Dean, Bobby, Gabriel and Tatiana all went to hug me at once, and I ended up between all four of them. Ow. I didn't know how they all managed to get a hold of me at once, but I soon found my body trapped between four others, all which were hugging me. The position was painful, but like it was with Sam, it was comforting. I couldn't find a way to possibly hug them all back, so I simply relaxed into the joint embrace.

Suddenly, in spite of how vividly the memories of the torture had plagued me for so long, it didn't seem as bad anymore. Because this was my family, and I loved them more than life itself.

"_And if you need someone just to be around_

_Help put the pieces back that you finally found_

_That's what I'm here for, that's what I'm here for_

_When you need a little less, or you want a little more_

_That's what I'm here for, that's what I'm here for."_


	18. You and I, Caught In a Fading Light

**Author's Note:**

**Greetings, wonderful people that are reading this! I know you all must get incredibly sick of my constant, usually long Author's Notes, but anymore I always write them at the top of chapters. If you all ever want to just skip the A/N and go straight to the chapter feel free, because sometimes my ramblings are pretty pointless. **

**So you know, this chapter is the end of the Cas/Dariel/torture storyline, and the next chapter starts my AU take on season six. The beginning scene and the Gabriel/Cas scene are requests by the lovely Suzy. Note to Suzy: The end scene isn't **_**exactly**_** what you asked for, but I still hope you don't completely hate it and/or me!**

**I considered writing this chapter and leaving it alone, but I decided I wasn't quite ready to part with this fic yet. Out of all the stories I've written, this has got to be the one I've had the most fun with! I have met some of the most amazing people :D I really, really want to thank all of you for the amazing reviews and encouraging me to continue, because not once did I imagine that my first SPN story would take off like this! *huggles***

**Almost to the end of my ramble, but not quite. I think after I finish this story that I will stop writing SPN, because my characters are very OOC and I can't at all do justice to the amazing actual show :P This fic will probably be very long (consider yourself warned!) but after that I'm not sure I'll be writing Supernatural again. Oh, and totally off topic, but the lyrics are from The Longest Night by Howie Day, an amazing song that I highly recommend to anyone still bothering to read this overly long A/N.**

**There. All done babbling now.**

* * *

"_Is it dark where you are? Can you count the stars where you are?_

_Do you feel like you are a thousand miles from home?_

_Are you lost where you are? Can you find your way when you're so far?_

_Do you fear where you are? _

_A thousand nights alone."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

_Hands touched my wings, a soft touch turning into something terrible…fingers gripped the feathers and pulled, leaving my torturer with handfuls of blood and wing…I screamed, unable to hold it back any longer…vicious threats were growled into my ear…I heard someone say my name, but they called me Cas and not Castiel…someone was shaking my shoulders…_

My eyes flew open and I sucked in a breath, desperate for air. My back was stiff from being an uncomfortable position in my sleep but no longer in the agonizing pain due to my wings being ripped apart. I desperately tried to seek out some grasp on reality, finally finding the only solid, real thing in the spinning world that the dream had left me in: Dean.

"It's okay, I'm here…everything's okay," he whispered, pulling me into his arms.

_You're so weak, taking comfort from a human. You have always been so weak, Castiel…_I could practically hear the words Dariel would say. I cringed, pulling myself as close to Dean as I could possibly manage. The words echoed in my head, painfully realistic in spite of the fact Dariel was long dead. The only thing keeping me sane right now was the sweet reassurances whispered in my ear by Dean.

When I finally freed myself from his arms and looked up at him, I saw a conflicting collection of emotions. Worry, fear, love, and anger. I knew that the anger was not directed at me, but my torturer. The fiercely protective hunter was muttering under his breath about how he wished he could bring Dariel back to life just to kill him all over again.

"Dean, I apologize for that display, it's my grace merging with vessel that's causing an onslaught of formerly traumatic events…" I explained, and he silenced me by pressing his index finger to my lips.

"Cas, this isn't your fault. I don't want to hear apologies, I don't want explanations. All I want is to know how I can help," he said, removing his finger from my mouth when he was finished.

A pang of affection went through me. "You're doing everything you possibly could. I merely don't wish to bur-"

"If you say burden then so help me God, I _will_ kick your ass," he cut me off.

I fell silent yet again, since "burden" was the next word in that sentence. My head was finally clear of the nightmare though, so when he laid on his back again and opened his arms, I didn't hesitate to slide into them. They encircled me even tighter than usual, his body language emanating protectiveness.

My head was on his chest, and his breathing soon became deep and even, the heartbeat under my ear thudding in perfect rhythm. Unable to help myself, my thoughts strayed to what I'd mentioned to Dean about my grace joining with my vessel. It was true that it wouldn't be easy.

Then again, it didn't really frighten me, given that I had my family to help me through it. I was done shutting them out, I now knew they were my family no matter what. It was an oddly relaxing fact to be certain of. They were a mismatched, disjointed family, but they were still my family.

* * *

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked later as I sat at the kitchen table.

"I am fine, Sam," I lied. I hadn't felt this awful since…well, it had been awhile.

"Here, this is what makes humans feel better when they're sick," he said, sitting a bowl of something steamy down in front of me.

"What is it?" I asked cautiously.

He chuckled quietly. "Chicken noodle soup. Guaranteed cure for everything."

"That stuff rocks," Dean added, sitting down next to me. "So, Sammy, have any for me?"

He scoffed. "Cas is the sick one, not you. Fix your own."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

I sighed and ignored their brotherly banter. I was used to the exchange of impolite nicknames. I scooped up a forkful of the soup and took a tentative bite, making a small noise of approval when its taste registered. It tasted simple, but lovely. It did wonders in helping the side effects of my vessel and grace joining, which Sam had informed me was like what happened to humans when they had whatever a head cold was.

"Thank you for the soup, Sam," I said, finishing it off a few minutes later.

"No problem Cas."

"Hey little bro," Gabriel said, walking in with an unnecessarily large cupcake. His love of candy bars had recently turned into a love of cupcakes.

"Why on earth do you need that big of a cupcake?" Sam asked, voicing the thoughts going through my head.

"Here, try some. You'll never look at sweets the same way again," Gabriel promised, holding out the oversized pastry.

Not bothering to remove it from Gabriel's hand, Sam leaned forward and took a small bite, making a sound of approval similar to the one I'd made just moments ago. "That is…extraordinary."

"Told ya!" the archangel said with a triumphant smile.

Soon he had manifested Sam his own cupcake, and the two were contently eating, leaning against the counter together. Dean and I shared an affectionately exasperated smile. I'd found myself smiling for frequently as of recent. I blamed it on overexposure to humans and their mannerisms.

I later wandered into the living room, lost in thought. As my thoughts slid further and further away, like a ship sailing out onto the harbor, my wings slowly drifted from my back. It was nothing intentional, just a result of my forgetting to keep them concealed. I didn't technically have to in this house, but it was a habit I had adopted after first coming to Earth.

I was so distracted that I didn't even realize Gabriel was behind me until he playfully tackled me to the floor. He laughed, wrestling me onto my back and pinning me easily. I was off guard and he was stronger due to being an archangel, the combination of the two rendering me an easy opponent.

I slid my wrists from my grasp and went to flip him over, but he put his hands on my wings, again pinning me. The entirety of my body went abruptly rigid. His right hand was resting on a scar left by Dariel, invisible to the naked eye of both angel and human due to my black wings, but the touch drug me to a dark place.

"Cas…?" Gabriel stilled, and I peered up at him, taking a shaky breath that I didn't technically need. "You okay?"

"It is just the grace acting up again," I said stonily.

"Did I…?" he froze as he realized what he'd touched, and his hand jerked from the scar like it had burned him. "I am so, _so_ sorry…"

"It's fine. You couldn't have known, brother."

Regardless of my reassurances, he pulled me into a tight embrace like Dean had earlier in the morning. When he pulled back, I studied him, from the gravely apologetic amber eyes to the blond hair framing his face. Memories of my torture still hurt, but I wasn't as miserably effected as I'd once been. It was slowly but surely becoming more bearable.

"Gabriel, I have learned something useful from the humans. A tradition of theirs that I've grown accustom to," I started in a voice even graver than his.

He brooded worriedly. "What?"

I flipped him over onto his back, holding him down with ease now that he wasn't expecting it. I grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head, rendering him immobile. Surprisingly enough, I found that I was outright grinning. I finally understood what Dean and Sam got out of their childish games. I said one word to Gabriel in response to his question before we continued trying to wrestle each other to the ground in an amusing fight for dominance.

"Payback."

"_So here we are, set into motion _

_We'll steal a car and crash in the ocean_

_You and I, caught in a fading light on the longest night_

_It's enough, just to find love_

_It's the only thing to be sure of."_


	19. So I Stayed In The Darkness With You

**Author's Note:**

**Filler alert! I know this chapter is very late in comparison to my usual update routines, but I was soooo busy today! Very sorry. The next installment will have more to do with the plot, like who brought Gabriel back, for example. Oh and the town mentioned in the beginning? It's real and I have the misfortune to live in it. If anyone tells you to visit Supply, North Carolina, say no and run far, far away! Lyrics are from Cosmic Love by Florence and The Machine.**

**Over and out, peoples!**

* * *

"_I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map_

_And knew that somehow I could find my way back."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"So, I think I found us a vengeful spirit in North Carolina," Sam said, looking up from his laptop.

"Let me guess, it's a crappy hole in the wall town?" I guessed.

"Looks like it, sorry. Some tiny little town called Supply."

"Super," I grunted.

"Well now that Lucifer's dead, we can get back to hunting," he said, relief written all over his voice.

I nodded, sharing his relief. "Never thought I'd say this, but I'll be glad to be hunting again. Back to the basics."

"Don't forget we also have Gabriel and Cas to help out," he reminded me. "It'll probably be helpful, having them around. They know more about the lore, and the creatures, and-"

"I get the picture, McNerdy."

He turned to me with a glare. "Jerk."

"Bitch."

He returned to researching, I returned to well…not much. We were in his guest room at Bobby's, going over possible cases, both excited to be back in the game now that we were post Apocalypse. Time to hunt down some more evil sons of bitches. The thought made me smile slightly, because damn it had been too long since I'd been on a hunt.

"I'll go let the cupcake twins know we're taking 'em on their first hunt," I said, hopping to my feet.

Last I'd checked, Gabriel had talked Cas into trying a cupcake, and they'd already gone through six each at the time. The big ones, too. Not that pie and chocolate wasn't great, but cupcakes? Those were for sissies. More importantly he was turning my angel into a sugar junkie, dammit.

Sam smiled and tapped the side of his head. "Already taken care of."

"That mental bond is seriously freaky, you know that?"

"Yeah, it probably is. Not much fun, either. Have you ever tried sharing a head with Gabriel? He's the most annoying creature in the global universe."

Despite his ranting, I knew he didn't mean any of it. Gabriel was as much a Winchester as Cas was. The only blond Winchester currently, but hey, he was still family. _And who would have thought that you would end up considering the Trickster family? _I mused, double-checking my duffle bag to make sure everything was in it. It was. Ah, just like old times. Living on diner food and cheap motel rooms.

"Well they're ready, so we'll let Bobby know we're leaving and hit the road," Sam said, tucking his laptop into his duffel bag and following me out of the room.

"C'mon you two, time to go," I said as we got downstairs, and the two angels got up from the couch, bringing their cupcakes with them and finishing them off as we left the living room.

We told Bobby we'd found a hunt, and he followed us out to help load our stuff into the car. With all of the creature issues we'd had with the Apocalypse, some of our stuff was strewn about the salvage yard. The angels watched as we picked up the guns and knives that had ended up astray.

"You idjits watch yourselves," Bobby said, helping us load the car.

"We will, thanks Bobby," Sam said, and we all four exchanged quick hugs with our surrogate father before getting into the car.

I sat behind the wheel, Sam rode shotgun, Gabriel sat behind him, and Cas sat behind me. I turned on Deep Purple's "Smoke On The Water," singing along at the top of my lungs as we pulled out. I didn't look over at him but I knew Sam was rolling his eyes. Gabriel dramatically covered his ears and begged for someone to put him out of his misery, while Cas simply stared out the window.

* * *

When we finally got there, I felt a familiar rush of dread. It was a sick feeling I always got when we pulled up at an awful little excuse for a town with bad food and minimal hot women. Better known as a sense of impending doom. It took awhile to locate a motel, and even when we did it was in Shallotte, a slightly larger town right next to Supply.

"This place is awful," I complained as we walked in.

"Would you please stop bitching?" Sam asked.

"Not likely Sammy," I replied with a smile.

We ended up with two rooms, one of them having two beds and the other only having one. Cas always ended up crawling in bed with me anyways, so there was really no point in wasting the money on two separate ones. I couldn't resist an eye roll when the cashier giggled and blushed after Sam told her Cas and I were sharing a room. Why did these people _always_ assume I was gay? Whether it be Sam or Cas, they always seemed to think I was screwing a dude.

"Alright, so let's get some sleep and we'll go check out the house that the spirit's haunting in the morning," Sam said as we searched out our rooms.

"Sounds like a plan," I yawned, unlocking my room and walking in with Cas right behind me. "Night, Sammy," I called over my shoulder.

"Goodnight, Dean."

I got into a quick shower, changed into a tee shirt and shorts to sleep in, and collapsed on the bed. Cas was sitting on the edge of it, reading some sort of list, head tilted in that adorable puppy dog way of his. I waited for him to lay down and snuggle up to me like always, but he continued reading with what appeared to be absolute fascination.

"Whatcha got there, chuckles?" I asked, nudging his back with my foot.

He handed me a rumpled piece of motel stationary, and I recognized the scrawled, messy handwriting as my own. The top of the page said _"Things to do after we stop the freaking Apocalypse" _and below it was a list of things I'd written a very long time ago. A soft laugh escaped me. I'd thought this thing had gotten lost at some point.

"I found it at the Singer home," Cas explained as if he was reading my mind.

Grinning, I found a pen and laid the list down on the desk before sitting down in front of it. Well, we'd stopped the freaking Apocalypse, so it was time to get to work. Cas materialized behind me, leaning over my shoulder to see what I was doing. He still didn't quite understand the meaning of personal space. I read the list, smiling fondly.

_Things to do after we stop the freaking Apocalypse:_

_1) Eat pie. Lots of pie._

_2) Women._

_3) Speaking of women, get poor Cas laid. Being a virgin must really suck. We'll just make sure her name isn't Chastity and her father doesn't work at the post office…bad memories._

_4) Get Cas a cell phone that won't tell him he's almost out of minutes._

_5) Go out for drinks with Sammy, Bobby and Cas, just because we'll have saved the world and God knows (pun definitely intended) we'll deserve it._

_6) Eat more pie._

I crossed off one and five; they were the only ones I'd gotten around to doing so far. I'd eaten four slices of apple pie on the drive up here, so now all that remained was two, three, four and six. Once we ganked this spirit, it was time to get to work on this list.

"Dean, why is it so important to you that I lose my virginity?" Cas asked as he reread number three.

"Because you have not yet experienced the greatest human ritual in existence. Sex."

"I do not understand the draw to it."

Um…awkward. "Let's just say it's awesome and leave it at that."

"When can we take care of number four?" he asked, motioning to the list.

I smiled and laughed. "We'll get you a real phone tomorrow, I promise. For now, let's get some sleep," I said, getting up and again flopping down onto the bed.

He nodded and laid his trench coat over the back of the desk chair before laying down next to me. I moved my arm out of the way, and soon found myself with an armful of exhausted angel. This vessel thing was really taking a lot out of him, and he was sleeping way more than he used to.

I stayed awake after he was asleep just to make sure he didn't seem to be having any more nightmares, and when he continued to sleep peacefully, I allowed myself to drift off. My dreams were also free of nightmares. It seemed like whenever Cas was near me while I was asleep, I didn't have dreams, let alone nightmares. It was wonderful.

And never once in my life had I thought I would be asleep in a pitch black room, cuddling with an Angel of the Lord, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

"_Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too_

_So I stayed in the darkness with you."_


	20. We Will Be Victorious

**Author's Note:**

**Hi again! The beginning of this chapter is inspired by Misha in 6x15, you'll know what I'm talking about when you read it! Now, for lots of dedications! I have plenty, so be warned ;-)**

**XspriteyX - Requested the Castiel Winchester scene, I am sorry it's so short, but I hope you don't hate it and/or me! Thanks again for your great review :D**

**cheryl24 - Wanted to know if Michael was going to show up, which inspired the end scene :-)**

**The Singing Duck - Asked about who brought Gabriel back, which reminded me that I still needed to clear that up! Thank you for that and also for your wonderful reviews!**

**Susangel - Let me adopt the plot bunnies in need of a good home, and OMG I am sooo excited! I really can't thank you enough Suzy, you're way too amazing for words :D**

**All of the readers - How can I ever thank you all enough for your amazing feedback? I love all of you, you've really helped improve my writing and encouraged me to continue, and it really means a lot to me! *huggles***

**A few final things. For starters, I want to warn you all that this fic still has several chapters to go so you are stuck with me for awhile :P Second, my next fanfic will be Dean/Cas, though I'm not starting it until I finish this story. And I mean that as Dean/Cas **_**together**_**, so if you don't like slash, don't read it because it won't be smut, but it will be pairing. Third, the lyrics are from Uprising by Muse**

**Bye for now!**

* * *

"_They will not force us, they will stop degrading us_

_They will not control us, we will be victorious."_

**Castiel's P.O.V. (Two Days Later)**

"Try this one Cas, it has a camera and over fifty different appilications. You can access Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter all on the same page," Sam said, holding up a phone.

Dean took the phone from Sam's hand and then hit his younger brother upside the back of the head with it, scowling. "Dude, this is a _chick phone_. No way are we getting Cas one of these."

"Well about we ask _him_ what _he_ wants?" Gabriel said exasperatedly.

"Thank you, Gabriel," I said before turning to Sam. "What is a Twitter?"

The younger of the two Winchesters grinned. "Twitter rocks. Have you ever had something you've wanted to say to more than one person at once?"

"I suppose…" I said, my head cocking to the side in confusion.

"Well all you have to do is type what you want to say, Tweet it, and everyone following you will see it," he explained.

"No no _no_, you are not putting Cas on fucking _Twitter_!" Dean protested.

"Aw come on, Twitter's great!" Gabriel argued.

"You are on the Twitter?" I asked my brother flatly, not sure whether to be amused or worried.

"Yep. C'mon, it's fun, you should try it."

"And you have the perfect phone to do it with, all we have to do is set you up with a plan," Sam added, motioning to the phone he'd been showing me earlier.

I opened my mouth to say I should most likely stick to the basics, but Gabriel seemed to take my split second of hesitation as an affirmative. "Good choice. Let's get this thingy hooked up," he grinned.

"What name will the phone be listed under, sir?" the perky girl asked as we started working out the contract.

"Castiel Winchester." I said it without even thinking.

Dean smiled at me warmly, even lovingly. Sam did too. They seemed to like hearing their name following mine, and honestly, I did too.

"And these gentlemen are…?" she asked, motioning to Sam, Dean and Gabriel.

"We're Cas' brothers," Gabriel filled in quickly.

She looked between us, clearly trying to find some sort of resemblance between us all. Sam and Dean looked alike, but Gabriel and I looked very…unrelated. I had dark hair and blue eyes, he had blond hair and hazel eyes. His eyes slightly resembled a paler version of Sam's, but mine looked nothing like any of theirs.

"Cas and Gabriel are adopted," Sam piped up.

"Ah." She nodded and we finished up the contracts, and before long my phone was squared away and ready to use.

Sam programmed the number into whatever his, Dean's, and Gabriel's "contacts" were. I made a mental note to learn what that meant. It sounded moderately important. Gabriel and I sat in the back of the Impala, with him showing me how to work the slightly complex cell phone, and then he helped me set up an account on the Twitter. He set whatever a "penname" was to HolyTaxAccountant, not that I completely knew why.

"Okay, Tweet away, bro," he said, handing me my phone.

"What am I supposed to say?"

Dean spoke up, heavily sarcastic. "Say 'Hi, my name is Cas, I'm a virgin, I'm on Twitter, and my friends are waiting for me to grow a vagin-"

"Dean!" Sam snapped before his older brother could finish the last word in that sentence.

Those two shot into a bickering match, so I returned to typing away on my phone. Gabriel watched me with affectionate amusement. I paused, listening to Sam and Dean briefly before finishing my "Tweet" as my brother liked to call it.

A moment later, it popped up on the screen. _**HolyTaxAccountant **__I am currently listening to Sam and Dean Winchester engage in a heated brotherly argument and I am making plans now that the world is post Apocalypse. Dean wants to get me "laid." That is all for now, thank you._

Gabriel started laughing hysterically, and then even giggling. He was holding his phone, apparently reading what I'd just posted. He paused, reread it, and started laughing all over again. Sam flipped his phone opened and signed into the Twitter before also bursting out in laughter.

"What the hell is so funny?" Dean demanded, the only one in the car without an account on the Twitter.

I leant forward, plucked the list we'd went over last night from his jacket pocket, and manifested a pen along with a large book to bare on. In neat, intricate handwriting that contrasted wildly with Dean's messy, loose scrawl, I wrote a seventh item on the list of things to do now that the Apocalypse was over.

_7) Get Dean a Twitter account. _

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

All too soon, we were back on the road again. Sam and Dean had already found another case to work a few hours away, something about a pack of vampires wreaking havoc. Yawn. Hopefully it wouldn't be as dull as this case, though. The spirit manipulated her victims by making them helplessly cling to the person they were closest to, and Dean had been standing right next to Cas when she'd shown up.

_We were standing in the small, abandoned trailer, looking for information on where she'd been buried, when there was a gust of wind and a young girl appeared in the center of the room. Milky white skin, bloodshot brown eyes, and wiry, curly brown hair. She wore nothing but a tattered white dress, her bare feet standing out against the dark floor._

_Dean readied the gun full of rock salt, but she waved her hand and suddenly the rifle broke into several pieces and Dean started clinging to Cas' side, hiding his face in the angel's shoulder as her spell took effect. Sam got off the phone from where he'd been talking to the local police, having finally gotten the location of her grave. I put two fingers on his forehead and suddenly we were standing in front of her grave. Cas transported Dean as well, the latter still holding onto the angel for dear life. That ghost had really messed him up._

_Sam salted the bones, and I waved my hand, igniting them. They went up with a whooshing sound, and Dean abruptly sprung away from Cas, the ghost's spell broken. He muttered a long string of profanities about the ghost, not stopping for the next thirty minutes. For a human, he knew some pretty interesting words…_

When we finally arrived in yet another small town, this one only fractionally larger than Supply, I was exhausted. It was taking longer with me than it was with Cas because I was an archangel, but my vessel and my grace were starting to merge. This time we got three separate rooms, something I requested because it was impossible to sleep with Sammy's snoring.

I kicked off my shoes and stretched out on the bed, my eyes falling shut. Who knew riding in the back of a car could be so exhausting. Taking naps was nearly out of the question, as loud as Dean blared his music. But now all was silent. Finally. I was almost asleep when there was a soft sound of fluttering wings to announce the presence of another angel.

Adam Milligan's body walked forward, undoubtedly occupied by Michael. In the blink of an eye, I was on my feet and facing him. My angel killing blade pressed reassuringly against my hip where it was tucked into the waistband of my jeans. I was still worn out, but a surge of adrenaline had me on high alert.

"Heya, bro! Whassup?" I greeted casually.

The eyes of his vessel narrowed. "I am not here to play games, Gabriel."

"Aw, what a shame! I think I've got Monopoly in the closet," I quipped.

"Why haven't you returned to Heaven?"

Ah. This was what it was about. I should've known. I may annoy my brothers to no end, but I was one of Heaven's most lethal archangels. They just didn't like admitting that they needed me. Technically they needed Cas too, but I was pretty sure they'd all rather die than admit they needed the headstrong, human-loving angel that had rebelled against them.

"I'm good with my current posse, thanks," I replied sarcastically.

Michael scoffed. "You should treat me with some respect, _little brother_," he hissed, so close that I could make out every individual fleck of gold in his eyes.

Now it was my turn to scoff. "And why would I do that?"

"What, you just think you came back from the dead all by yourself?"

My sarcastic retort died on my lips, wilting like a dried flower petal. As much that had been going on with Lucifer and the Apocalypse, I hadn't really had time to think about who'd brought me back. Now I knew. Michael had…but why? That was the sixty-four dollar question.

"So besides the fact the world was slowly going to Hell without my awesomeness, why'd ya bring me back?" I asked, keeping my tone light and conversational.

"Because, brother, like all the archangels of Heaven, I knew of Dariel's prophecy. You and Castiel would not only put an end to the Apocalypse, but kill Lucifer. Less messy and less of a hassle than my original plan, so I resurrected you and let fate run its course," he shrugged. "I am fairly certain that Dariel was allied with Lucifer, otherwise he wouldn't have tried to separate you and Castiel, but that's water under the bridge now, I suppose."

"So now that I've served my purpose, you want me to come back to Heaven." It was a statement, not a question.

"Precisely."

I tilted my head up and straightened my spine, my voice cold and defiant. "No."

"This isn't up for negotiation, Gabriel," he growled.

Faster than the human eye could follow, I had him pinned to the wall, my blade pressed against his throat. The razor sharp edge of the blade drew a tiny bead of blood, which spilled down his neck, leaving a bright red trail against ivory skin. His eyes flashed furiously, not at all pleased with being overpowered. He also seemed to realize that I wasn't backing down.

"Leave before I have to kill you, brother," I said, tracing his neck with my blade.

A moment later, there was nothing in his place but empty air.

"_Rise up and take the power back_

_It's time the fat cats had a heart attack_

_We know that their time's coming to an end_

_We have to unify and watch our flag ascend."_


	21. You're The Very Thing Unwinding Me

**Author's Note:**

**Fluff! Sam/Cas and Dean/Cas fluff ahead! The beginning scene is dedicated to Susangel for mentioning she would like to see it written, thanks for the idea Suzy :D I would also like to dedicate this chapter to my robot head loving/chocolate loving/hot wing loving friend Fiona Bee, because we can agree that Stonehenge Apocalypse with Misha Collins is the best movie EVER!**

**And I am dying of anticipation for the western episode of SPN, I am literally ready to kill the CW right now. I just keep trying to figure out what Dean throws at Cas in that very brief clip and can't figure it out. *shrugs* Anyways, lyrics are from No Way Out by Rie Sinclair. **

**Thanks to all my amazing readers and reviewers, I love all of you wonderful people!**

* * *

"_Will time illuminate the stars and stop the pain?_

_The night you held me under a spell_

_You know I cannot hide _

_You're the very thing unwinding me."_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

My grin was like that of an excited child on Christmas. "The _angels_ created Stonehenge? All these years I thought it was a mystery, or maybe the work of an ancient civilization. Why did they create it?"

Cas glanced over at me with amused affection glittering in his eyes. Dean and Gabriel were at a nearby diner eating pie, so Cas and I were back at the motel, and he was answering my endless question about lore and myths. We lay side by side on my bed, talking endlessly. No matter what question I had, he had the answer. We had plenty of time, because we'd found the vampire nest but weren't doing a raid until daylight tomorrow.

I listened, rapt, when he told stories of ancient times. His gravelly yet somehow smooth voice almost lulled me to sleep as it wove enchanting images in my mind. The greatest wars of Heaven, the angels stopping natural disasters wreaking havoc on the Earth, the creation of some of the world's most notorious monuments...there was so much to learn.

"The Great Battle of the Morningstar was the war that finally drove Lucifer from Heaven, but there was still dreadful aftermath. The angels that had believed Lucifer to be their leader launched an attack against the rest of us, and it became yet another war. It was causing too much destruction on Heaven, so my superiors moved the battle to Earth. Myself and another one of the angels in my Garrison created a meeting point so in case we got split up during the war, we could return to the same place to ensure each other's location. And so we created what the humans would later refer to as Stonehenge."

I laughed quietly. Wow. Who would have thought that celestial beings created one of the world's greatest mysteries? All of the information swam through my head like debris floating over water.

"So _you_ created Stonehenge?" I asked, still in awe.

"With the help of another angel, yes."

"Wow…" I whispered. I paused briefly before speaking again, my voice as hopeful as that of a child. "Will you tell me more about the Great Battle of the Morningstar?"

I smiled happily when he again began speaking of Heaven's greatest war.

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

"That place has the best pie ever," I commented as we got back to the motel.

"Tell me about it," Dean sighed happily.

I stuck my head in Sam's room to tell him goodnight, and closed my mouth when I saw him and Cas laying on the bed, the former listening attentively as the angel told him about the war that had resulted in Lucifer being cast out of Heaven. They were oblivious to our presence, one caught up in telling the story and the other caught up in listening to it.

"Well I'm off to go watch a movie, so Sammy I'll see you tomorrow, and Cas I'll see you whenever you come to bed," Dean said, laughing amusedly when they gave him absent nods before returning to what they were doing.

_See ya later, Sammy, _I sent, closing the door behind me as I stepped out of the room.

_Right, see you later, _he replied quickly before going back to listening to Cas.

"They are such _geeks_," Dean said as we walked down the hall.

"Little brothers. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em," I agreed.

"Careful there, I don't want anyone to think we're actually bonding," Dean teased, his voice light and amused.

I cringed. "Don't even joke about that Winchester, I just ate and I am not too keen on throwing up."

"Same."

I laughed and quickly told him goodnight before transporting into my room, taking a quick shower (which was a human habit I'd picked up), pulling on some clothes to sleep in, and sprawling out on the bed. My vessel and my grace were slowly pulling together and leaving me fatigued. Clearing thoughts of Michael, vessel/grace merging, and geeky brothers from my head, I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

I was having a night just like any other when it happened.

It began with a dull ache that started between my wings and spread throughout my entire body. Then it became a searing, white-hot agony that made me feel like someone was burning me with holy fire from the inside out. I made a choked, pained noise. Dean, who I was curled up against as always, quickly pulled us into a sitting position and asked what was wrong.

"Grace…vessel…" I was cut off when I choked up a mouthful of blood.

He gently wiped the blood from my face with his fingertips in a sweet, careful movement. His entire body was tense. I went to tell him that I was fine and not to worry, but the only thing that came out was more blood. The coppery, metallically taste tainted my mouth bitterly. Two different areas of my shirt split as my wings thrust themselves violently out of my body in reaction to my agitated grace.

Any other time Dean would be yelling at me to tell him what was going on, but I'd formerly warned him that it would get worse. He knew this was the end of it, that after this it would all be over. So he didn't ask questions, just helped me through it. He didn't seem to care about the blood I continued to choke up or the fine veil of sweat covering my skin, only about getting me through this.

I didn't protest when he moved us so that his back was against the headboard, and he moved his legs apart so he could pull my back against his chest. My wings rested on either side of me. Strong arms circled my waist and I relaxed into his chest. At least I'd stopped choking up blood at this point.

Another flash of searing heat ripped through me, causing my back to arch and my teeth to grind together. Dean tenderly stroked my back as the pain morphed into convulsions, spasms jerking my body in all directions. I caught a glimpse of my hand, the skin glowing white. My grace was fusing with the skin. This would be over soon.

Then, a pain that I didn't think was at all possible hit me. It was so impossibly strong that I couldn't even find a word for it. I heard piercing, agonized screams, and it took me a moment to realize they were my own. I no longer convulsed, but my entire body shook in Dean's arms. I made a futile attempt to quiet my screams. The pain was just too strong.

Just as suddenly as the pain has reached me, it was gone. All of it. A warmth was spreading through me, but the good kind. The kind that told me this body was finally my own. Jimmy had long since been in Heaven, but now I was really and truly one with my body. This would forever be my only body, I would take no other vessel. I couldn't take another vessel even if I wanted to now.

My back still against his chest, I dropped my head back against Dean's shoulder. He pressed a soft kiss to my temple, his lips warm against my skin. I covered his hands, which still rested on my waist, with my own. I gave them a gentle squeeze to convey my gratitude. _Thank you for getting me through this. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being my brother. _I said that and so much more with the simple touch. The smile he gave me said _You're welcome._

Gabriel and Sam, who'd heard my cries but known I would rather be left alone with Dean, came in and walked over. Sam took one of my hands from Dean's and gave it a reassuring squeeze, and Gabriel stroked the side of my face with a tenderness uncharacteristic to his personality. I gave them both affectionate looks to express my gratitude.

I couldn't have loved them all any more than I did at that moment.

"_No one ever will love me better than your_

_Everlasting love_

_I found only one way in_

_And no way out."_


	22. I'm Gonna Give All My Secrets Away

**Author's Note:**

**I would like to start off by apologizing for a couple of things! 1) I really, really wanted to post this yesterday but I was moving furniture for hours and working on finishing my first slash fic, which ended up being (of all the things!) Cas and Crowley. Crazy, right? Turns out I actually like writing slash that isn't of the smutty persuasion. Anyways, sorry this wasn't posted sooner! 2) I'm not trying to rush this Mother of All thing, but I am fairly certain I'm making this 25 chapters long before ending and writing a platonic Cas/Gabriel fic Susangel gave me the idea for.**

**This chapter is entirely Gabriel centric, but I promise that Cas and the brothers will come in more soon! I was just in the mood to write our favorite Trickster, so there you have it. Lyrics are from Secrets by OneRepublic.**

**On with the chapter now!**

* * *

"_To know my sleeves are stained red_

_From all the truth that I've said_

_Come by it honestly, I swear."_

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

_Gabriel, you're never going to guess this, _Sam sent.

Castiel and I had just finished off the rest of the vampires in the nest, whilst Sam and Dean interrogated their leader. She'd seemed stronger than most, so they'd wanted to see if they could get any information out of her. I looked around to make sure there was no more of the lower ranking vampires still alive before replying to Sam.

_What?_

_This vampire, Amy, isn't just _a_ vampire. She's _the_ vampire._

_The Alpha?_

_Exactly. She's the first of her kind, the original vampire…_he mentally trailed off, seemingly overwhelmed by the fact he was in the presence of the very first vampire.

_Sammy, please don't start having nerdgasm, I don't think my poor brain would ever recover._

He gave me Mental Sam Winchester Bitchface Number 13, which translated to "Go screw yourself, Gabriel." I smiled amusedly and motioned for Cas to follow me as I went inside to see how the interrogation was going. From the looks of it, Amy wasn't talking and seemingly had no intentions of doing so.

Had Tatiana not returned to Heaven, she would have laughed this vampire bitch halfway across the state. She was one of Heaven's greatest torturers/interrogators. Seemingly one of the nicest people you'd ever meet, but oh trust me when I say you wouldn't want to piss her off. Not only was she a torturer, but she was a creative one. I'd seen what was left of the angels that got on her bad side.

"I suggest you tell Sam and Dean what they want to know, or the outcome will not be pleasant," Castiel said threateningly, eyes fixed on the vampire like he could stare a hole in her.

The bony, brunette creature barked out a harsh laugh. "As if I actually fear you feathery little pansies."

I waved my hand and sent a rush of dead man's blood flowing through her veins, resulting in piercing screams from the arrogant vampire. The screams finally gave way to quieter whimpers as the pain faintly subsided. She hissed quietly, grinding her teeth together before glaring up at me.

"Go ahead sunshine, kill me. Mommy's going to kill all of you sorry bastards as soon as she gets the chance. So sure, kill me," she said in a voice thick with patronization.

"As you wish," Cas replied flatly.

With that, he raised a finger, and her head severed cleanly from her shoulders. My younger brother didn't even see the impressed look Dean shot in his direction. Apparently dear old Dean-o didn't think Cas had it in him to be a hunter, but oh boy was he wrong. When it came to angels, you didn't get em' much more badass than Castiel. Besides me, of course. My awesomeness practically deserved its own Garrison.

"So who do you think this 'Mommy' chick is that she was talking about?" Sam wondered aloud when we got back to the motel.

"A demonic soccer mom maybe?" I guessed with a shrug.

Cas gave his trademark head tilt, clearly not picking up on the sarcasm. "No, I profoundly doubt this creature plays soccer…"

All three of us rolled our eyes in unison. Yep, he was definitely the little brother of the family now. I grinned and slung an arm around his shoulder, patiently explaining what "soccer mom" meant and that I'd only been being sarcastic. Dean took the moment of peace to tackle Sam, bringing them both to the floor of the motel room. It reminded me fondly of when Cas and I'd had a similar little brotherly wrestling match.

Halfway though conversation with my brother, a wave of dizziness overtook me. I tightened my grip on Cas' shoulder so I could remain upright. My younger sibling immediately wrapped his arm around my waist, and a heartbeat after, Sam was supporting me as well. Dean hovered nearby, clearly concerned.

"I'm fine…" I muttered, my voice weak.

"Tell that to someone that can't read your mind," Sam replied.

I opened my mouth to bite off a witty comeback, but there was a tiny little complication.

I fainted.

…

…

…

…

…

…

"What the hell…?" I muttered, sitting up.

I was laying in an open, completely untainted field. Green grass swayed gently, like something out of a really lame chick-flick. Sunlight hit my eyes, and I blinked against it before looking around. Okay…well this was really weird. I pushed myself to my feet and searched for any sign of a threat. None.

Then I looked for any sign of Cas, Sam or Dean, but again came up empty. I seemed to be alone in this vast area. That confused me, because last I checked, I'd fainted in a crappy motel room. I was about to make an attempt to transport back to said crappy motel, but there was a soft sound of flapping wings, alerting me to the arrival of another angel.

"Oh why am I not surprised," I sighed at the sight of Michael.

"Relax, brother. I merely want to talk."

"Let me guess. I come back to Heaven or you keep me unconscious?"

Surprisingly, he shook his head. "No. I've needed to speak with you again since our first encounter, but when you fainted, all I had to was enter your head while you weren't conscious."

"I seriously doubt you want to discuss the weather, so what do you want?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"Always the joker you were," he commented before continuing, "I want to make a deal. Once your grace merges with your body, it will be much more difficult for you to return to Heaven, so I have a task for you."

"What?" I responded cautiously.

"I've heard that there is a creature here, better known as the Mother of All, and that she wants to kill the human race. I quite frankly hold no regard for those vermin, but several Garrisons are dead set on stopping her. Having her dead will prevent yet another war. So I figure that's where you come in."

"I don't even know how to kill this bitch," I said tartly.

"It's surprisingly simple. All you need is the blade of an archangel, blessed by a Warrior of God and infused with the blood of a virgin."

I had everything I would need. My blade, Dean, and Cas. The weapon, the Warrior of God, and the virgin. The full weight of the task hit me full force, and before I could say another word to Michael, the dream started becoming unraveled around me. I was confused and incoherent for a moment before my eyes opened, but this time I found myself in the reality I remembered from before I'd passed out.

I was laid out on the bed, with Sam and Cas on either side of me, and Dean standing at the end of the bed with a worried expression. I took a deep breath even though I didn't technically need it. I information on how to kill the Mother of All. I had orders to use that information to kill her. I didn't think I'd felt this overwhelmed since the one time I couldn't decide if I wanted ice cream or a candy bar. And it took a lot to make me feel overwhelmed.

"Gabriel what happened?" Sam asked so quickly that the words nearly ran together.

"I fainted, kiddo."

"But you should have seen your face when you woke up, it looked like mine does whenever the gas station's out of Busty Asian Beauties," Dean said, shuddering at the mere though.

I wanted to make my usual smartass remark, but I knew I had to explain. I had to tell them everything, from the first time Michael had shown up to his most recent negotiation. I couldn't even really trust that he was telling the truth about how to kill the Mother of All, because while he had no reason to lie, it was hard to tell with angels. Taking a deep breath, I started the beginning of what would be a very long conversation.

"There's something you all need to know…"

"_So tell me that you want to hear_

_Something that are like those years_

_Sick of all the insincere_

_So I'm gonna give all my secrets away."_


	23. Tomorrow Might Be Good For Something

**Author's Note:**

***bangs head into wall* I did it again! I got wrapped up in writing a one-shot, and when I finally got this chapter done, it was fluff galore! I am so, so sorry for these recent few chapters, I know they're awful! Though I would like to thank the anonymous reviewer "kaykay" for her advice on the Mother of All thing, I definitely learned something new from it, so thanks :D Also, the scene where Dean looks back on Cas' grace/vessel merging thing is a request by the lovely Suzy :-) And the end scene is inspired by a chapter of styx88's Dean/Cas fic, "Million Little Things." You should all check it out, it's amazing!**

**Speaking of Dean/Cas, I warn all of you that are uncomfortable with very heavy smut NOT to read the one-shot I'm posting soon. I didn't think I would get into writing the really sexed up stuff, but Destiel is my weak spot, sorry. Oh and since I forgot, the lyrics are from Unwell by Matchbox 20.**

**Over and out ;-)**

* * *

"_All day staring at the ceiling_

_Making friends with shadows on my wall_

_All night hearing voices telling me __that I should get some sleep_

_Because tomorrow might be good for something."_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"Michael wanted you back in Heaven, you put the fear of your dad in him, and now he wants you to kill the Mother of All?" I repeated, wondering if this was what it felt like to be a lost puppy.

"Yep, pretty much," Gabriel confirmed.

"Awesome," Dean remarked sarcastically.

"We should get to work on the blade and figure out whether or not this will work," Cas said.

"Sounds like a plan. So, you haven't had sex, right?" Gabriel asked.

If I didn't know any better, I would say Cas blushed, which was just downright adorable. "No…"

"Good!" his older brother said, clapping his hands happily.

"Cas, man, you're _blushing_," Dean laughed. Embarrassed, the angel hid his face in Dean's shoulder.

"Okey dokey, let's get this show on the road," Gabriel said, withdrawing his blade. "Who shall go first, the Warrior of God or the virgin?"

"What exactly am I supposed to do, huh? Wave my hands and say bibbity bobbedy boo?" Dean asked, absently petting Cas' hair like the angel was a particularly soft cat.

"Actually, I found a chant that I think will work," I said, holding up what I'd printed from the internet.

"Alright, well, let's get this over with," he said, taking the sheet from me and then taking Gabriel's blade.

I watched with fascination as he held the blade up and started chanting the ancient Enochian spell I'd found. It was slightly strange to see a human using the language of the angels. Castiel, who was still embarrassed and had been reluctant to remove his head from Dean's shoulder, was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. It was a position he'd picked up from being around Dean for too long.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean cried, dropping the blade when it glowed white.

"It worked," I breathed in shock. The website I'd found the spell on claimed that the spell would be proved successful only if the blade grew hot in the presence of a Warrior of God.

"Ow…" Dean mumbled, rubbing his burnt hand and smiling gratefully when Cas healed it.

"Now for the darling little angel that still hasn't got his cherry popped," Gabriel said, picking up the blade by its hilt, which had cooled off.

"It says that to infuse something with the blood of another, you must carve this sigil into their chest," I said, turning my laptop around so they could see the elaborate sigil on the screen.

"Looks painful," Dean commented.

"Painful but necessary," I said.

"We could always videotape Cas taking his shirt off, we'd make a fortune," Gabriel said, and both Dean and I slapped him upside the back of the head with the standard "Shut up, Gabriel."

"So who's going to carve this?" I asked as Castiel removed his coat, tie, and shirt.

"I will," Dean said quickly. I smiled amusedly at the protectiveness in his tone.

Taking the blade back from Gabriel, he swallowed hard before pressing the tip to Cas' chest. "Won't this kill you?"

"No, you're merely piercing the skin, not my heart."

My brother nodded before biting his lip and digging the end of the blade in, wincing when Cas hissed in pain. The angel looked like he was in excruciating pain the entire time Dean marked him, but he refused to make a sound. It was obvious from both his silence and his body language that he trusted Dean completely.

"It's over," Dean said, pulling the blood covered blade away from the newly formed sigil.

"You okay?" Gabriel asked, leaping to his feet and putting a hand on Cas' arm.

The younger angel nodded. "I'm fine, thank you Gabriel."

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

"So we have what we need to kill her with, or at least we think we do, but how do we find her?" Sam wondered aloud.

"We wait for signs she's nearby, and then we gank the bitch," Dean shrugged.

I looked at Castiel to get his opinion on the matter, but he was too busy typing away on his cell phone. I allowed myself a triumphant smile. I'd gotten him hooked on Twitter. He was probably Tweeting as we speak about the Mother of All, which was harmless given that no one in their right minds would believe him anyways.

"Cas, what are you Tweeting?" Dean asked exasperatedly.

"That 'Today has been an eventful one. My angelic brother has awoken from the state of unconsciousness mentioned earlier, we have found a way to presumably defeat the Mother of All, and an ancient Enochian sigil is currently carved into my sternum. I will add further details when they come to be.'"

"Dude, your Twitter account looks like a documentary on all things supernatural," Sam said, looking over Cas' shoulder at his long list of Tweets.

_Over 1,500 followers? WTF! _he thought.

_I know, right? Go figure, _I sent.

He jumped in surprise, having not realized I was in his head. _Give a guy some warning next time, okay?_

_Not likely. It's too much fun scaring the hell out of you._

_:P_

_Did you just send me a mental emoticon sticking your tongue out at me?_

_Yep._

_Very mature, Sammy._

_It's Sam!_

Snickering quietly, I exited his head in favor of the previous conversation about killing Hell's Soccer Mom. Then again, there really wasn't much left to talk about. We would kill her once we had a lead. So pretty much, until then, we had time to do whatever we wanted.

"We could return to Robert's and wait for the Mother of All to show herself," Cas suggested, closing his phone.

"Dude, it's _Bobby_, not Robert," Dean corrected with an eye roll. "But anyways, I think that's the best plan I've heard all day."

I snorted. "Cas just wants to go see Huntress."

Not finding it fair to drag her all over Hell and half of Georgia with us when we went hunting, we'd left his cat with Bobby, who'd called us a bunch of "sappy ass animal lovin' idjits" but still agreed to look after her. It goes to show that no one can say no to Cas, or at least not anyone with a heart.

_So where did you find all that about blessing the blade, anyways? _I asked Sam mentally.

_Online. Turns out that in Babylonian mythology, the Mother of All is a giant, bloated female dragon known as Tiamat. _

_Huh, interesting, _I replied sarcastically. I thought all that myth stuff was just boring.

_I heard that! It is _not_ boring, _he protested.

'_Course not Sammy._

I grinned when I got Mental Bitchface Number Eighteen, which translated to "Shut up, Gabriel."

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Hey there old man," I greeted when we finally got to Bobby's.

"Well look what the storm blew in," he said sarcastically, but his eyes were warm and welcoming.

There was a soft little meow before Huntress sprung at Cas, and he caught the ball of fluff in his arms with ease. One of his rare but genuine smiles graced his features as he stroked the top of her head and she purred loudly. I rolled my eyes but still smiled affectionately as he cuddled the tiny kitten.

* * *

After we ate the meal Bobby cooked for all of us, I went upstairs, took a shower, and collapsed onto the bed. Cas pealed off his trench coat before curling up next to me. A faint bloodstain marring his shirt reminded me that even though it was healed by now, I'd had to carve a sigil into his chest. I cringed away from the memory.

With a shudder, I also recalled when his grace had merged with his vessel. It was far and away one of the worst memories I had burned into my mind. I would never forget the pain that had glazed over those usually sparkling blue eyes. From the moment he'd woken up to the second it had been over, I'd felt worry more than I ever had in my entire life. He had been in so much obvious pain that I'd almost felt it right along with him.

"Dean?"

"Hm?"

"On the drive down here, while you were in the gas station, Sam told me you were ticklish. What does that mean?"

Oh hell. Sammy had spilled. That kid was _so_ dead. "Uh…nothing."

"He told me to do this and see what happened," he said, and started tickling my side.

I squirmed out of the way. Apparently Sam had also told Cas _where_ I was ticklish. The angel didn't seem to understand my drawing away, and he pulled himself over to me again, tickling me until I couldn't hold back my wild laughter anymore. I laughed and actually _squealed_ as the angel tickle tortured me.

"Cas stop!" I gasped between laughs.

"Sam was right. This is enjoyable."

I tried to retort but he was too busy tickling me until I finally begged for mercy.

"_I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell_

_But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see_

_A different side of me."_


	24. Using Every One Of Them and Running Wild

**Author's Note:**

**Greetings, my lovelies! This chapter may confuse you a bit, but it's explained in the next one, I swear! Also, two S5 characters both make brief appearances, and the character that shows up at the very end is dedicated to XspriteyX for her requesting it :D The Dean/Gabriel scene is dedicated to my dearest Suzy, who loves the Sam/Cas and Dean/Gabriel bonding moments. There will be a Sam/Cas moment in the next one Suzy, don't worry.**

**Oh and I blame 6x15 for my Cas/Twitter fetish! The next chapter is less angst, more action, more time-to-tie-up-all-the-loose-ends stuff, and it will be very long most likely! Lyrics from this one are from Back In Black by AC/DC, which I first fell in love with via SPN, so there you have it.**

**I can't possibly ever hope to thank you all enough for your amazing feedback :D**

**P.S. The "short, dark and snarky" thing at the end isn't totally random. My big sister nicknamed me that, thank you very much.**

* * *

"_I'm looking at the sky 'cause it's getting me high_

_Forget the hearse 'cause I'll never die_

_I got nine lives, cat's eyes _

_Using every one of them and running wild."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

"Got her," Sam said, looking up from his laptop.

"Where is she?" Dean asked.

"Well there's been excessive demonic activity in Chicago, and when I say excessive I mean that if I'm estimating right, there's somewhere around a hundred demons."

"Sounds like something worth checking out," Gabriel added before taking a bite of his candy bar.

Dean grinned and grabbed his jacket. "Let's go."

I opened my cell phone and typed a quick message. _**HolyTaxAccountant **__Off to hunt the Mother of All with Gabriel and the Winchester brothers. I believe the human idiom is "Wish me luck." _I hit send and within two minutes, there was seven Tweets in response.

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__Good luck!_

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__Aww be careful sweetheart!_

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__Marry me?_

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__Oh Cas you're so noble!_

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__We love you Cas!_

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__Hiya, Becky here! Give Sam a kiss for me ;-)_

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__I see you've got quite the following, lad. Send the Winchesters my regards._

The last one confused me to no end. I was used to the marriage proposals, I got at least ten per day, and I often got messages from Becky, but I had no idea who _**SnarkyandDemonic **_was, which was the username that appeared at the end of the reply. Whoever it was obviously knew Sam and Dean, and either they were actually a demon or they did not see the irony in their screen name.

"You ready?" Dean asked.

"Yes, coming," I muttered, following him out the door and taking my usual seat in the back of the Impala.

It was going to be quite a drive there, so I set to work replying to my followers. I sent my usual "Thank you" to the first five (since I really didn't know how else to reply to the marriage proposal) and then started replying to Becky. We talked on the Twitter frequently. She was rather quirky and seemed to suffer from hyperactivity, but she was nice enough.

_**MrsSamWinchester **__I am still not comfortable in engaging in oral activity with Sam, but I will tell him you send your greetings._

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__Thanks Cas! You're awesome :D_

_**MrsSamWinchester **__You are welcome. While you are online and present, I have a question._

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__Of course, anything for you sweetheart ;-)_

_**MrsSamWinchester **__Do you happen to know who __**SnarkyandDemonic **__is?_

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__Hmm, nope, never talked to him/her. BTW I have great news!_

_**MrsSamWinchester **__I do not know what a BTW is, but what is the good news?_

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__It means "by the way," you silly bird. Anyways, Chuck has started publishing again! I'm reading Abandon All Hope as we speak :D_

_**MrsSamWinchester **__I thought he and the Winchesters had an agreement that he would no longer be publishing. _

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__Don't be a party pooper :-(__ So are you as hot as you are in the books?_

_**MrsSamWinchester **__This conversation is making me uncomfortable._

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__Aw how cute, you're embrassed! Yep, you're definitely as awesome as you are in the books. Speaking of which, I just got to the chapter where the sexy British demon shows up, so I'll ttyl!_

I had no earthly idea what a ttyl was, but I decided I would ask her later. I also had no clue what "sexy British demon" she was talking about. With Becky, you could never really understand how she defined "sexy." While she was a nice human, she was still a rather odd one.

_**SnarkyandDemonic **__Who are you?, _I sent.

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__I'm talking to an Angel of the Lord on Twitter… well there's one I never thought I'd be doing. I think I need another glass of Craig on that note._

_**SnarkyandDemonic **__You didn't answer my question._

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__Don't intend to, sweetheart. If you hadn't traded all your brain cells for a new trench coat then you might have realized who I am by now._

_**SnarkyandDemonic **__I do not wish to play games. How do you know I wear a trench coat?_

_**HolyTaxAccountant **__*insert irritated sigh here* Hmm, you've been hanging around the Winchesters too long, their idiocy appears to have rubbed off on you._

Done with the word games, I signed out of my account and tucked my cell phone into my pocket. We soon stopped to get gas, and Gabriel wanted to walk in with Dean and stretch his legs, so I was left in the car with Sam. I hesitated only very briefly before deciding to explain the strange conversation I'd had with the unnamed demon. Sam was one of the few people I trusted to confide in, the others being Dean, Gabriel, Bobby, and occasionally Becky.

"Sam, see what you make of this," I said, opening my phone, scrolling down to the conversation, and handing the phone to him.

He turned in the front seat to face me as he read it. The first expression to cross his face was confusion, but it quickly gave way to dread, which just as quickly gave way to grim recognition. He muttered something under his breath that sounded like a long string of profanities.

Looking up from the phone, he said, "We have a problem."

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

"Gabriel, you look like Hell," Dean said as we browsed the candy isle. I could probably just manifest some, but the merging was weakening me and it would be a lot easier just to buy it.

"Gee thanks."

He patted me on the shoulder with mock sympathy. "It's okay, we can't all look gorgeous twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week like me."

I cuffed him in the back of the head, but he only grinned. "So does your ego fit in that body or does it need its own storage unit?"

"Depends on what day of the week it is."

I shrugged. "At least your honest."

He picked up a few different candy bars and made for the counter, but stopped when he looked back and saw me still standing there. I made a failed attempt to tell him I was fine. Because to tell the truth, I was far from fine. I was dizzy, and tired, and before I could try and stop them, my legs buckled under me. Thankfully Dean was close enough to catch me.

"Whoa, whoa, easy there."

"Dean…" I mumbled, looking up at him dazedly as he carefully crouched down and laid me across his lap.

"S'okay, we'll get you through this," he said, stroking my hair like he always did when Cas was upset or hurting.

I knew I was sounding whiny, but my entire body was slowly starting to feel like it was burning alive. "It hurts…"

"Gabriel!" Sam exclaimed.

I looked over to see him burst through the doors, Cas at his heels. The latter put two fingers to the cashier's forehead to knock him out. It wasn't like a human would even remotely understand what was going on. I felt his fingers press to my forehead as well, and we transported to a nearby hotel. It was miracle that Dean wasn't throwing a hissy fit about leaving the Impala.

"Sammy…is there supposed to be…two of you?" I mumbled as he laid me out on the bed.

"Hush, it's going to be fine, everything's going to be okay," he assured me.

The drowsiness suddenly gave way to a sharp pain racing down my spine. I cried out as my back arched, my wings snapping forth. Oh _damn_ that hurt. Sam's fingers laced through mine, Cas took my other hand, and Dean gently brushed my wayward hair from my eyes. I whimpered quietly in an attempt not to scream again. The pain was so intense that it was a struggle to speak.

"Go kill…the Mother of All…_go_."

"We're not leaving you here alone, brother," Cas said.

"You have to before she leaves again. I'll be fine."

"I saw what this did to Cas, and no way are we going to let you go through that alone," Sam argued.

"Don't worry lads, I'll make sure your little angel pal doesn't fry."

They all three spun around at the sound of the new voice, though Sam didn't look as shocked as the others. A wave of sickness rolled through me, which always happened when a demon was nearby. Our heads all cocked to the side just like Cas' always did at the sight of the short, dark haired demon suddenly standing at the end of the bed. He smiled at the sudden attention being given to him.

Crowley grinned and saluted us. "Short, dark, and snarky, at your service."

"_I'm back in black, I hit the sack_

_I've been too long, I'm glad to be back."_


	25. For All Of The Times We've Stopped

**Author's Note:**

***Is hiding behind computer to avoid flying objects***

**Okay, so I know I said I this would be the end of the fic, but it turns out I wasn't quite as ready to part with it as I thought I was. There's still so much left that hasn't been resolved, but if any of you are tired of it and want to stop reading, then I totally understand. Normally I try not to draw stuff out for too long, but I just couldn't cram everything I wanted into this one chapter. The small little Sam/Cas moment is dedicated to Suzy because she loves the little brothers bonding and the big brothers bonding! It's a teeny tiny moment, but still there. Lyrics are from Marchin' On by OneRepublic.**

**Thanks for sticking with me!**

* * *

"_There's so many wars we've fought_

_There's so many things we're not_

_But with what we have, I promise you that_

_We're marchin' on, we're marchin' on."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

"Crowley," I said.

"Well if it isn't my favorite little angel pal that hasn't got shagged yet. Long time no see, mate."

I resisted the urge to snap at him about mocking my virginity. It seemed like everyone liked mocking my virginity. Even a sarcastic British demon that had randomly appeared how of nowhere. Well not quite nowhere; Sam had told me that _**SnarkyandDemonic **_was undoubtedly Crowley. Still, that didn't make his company any more welcomed.

Dean came forward with his demon killing blade raised, but with a simple flick of his fingers, Crowley had both Winchester brothers pinned to the wall, immobile. I placed my hand on Crowley's forehead, knowing I was still very much strong enough to kill demons, but he gave me a meaningful look that practically verbally said _Hold that thought, this is important. _

"Walk with me talk with me, Cas," the demon said. I winced at his use of the nickname Dean had given me. I didn't like that nickname in any way related to a demon.

"I am not going anywhere with you," I growled, dropping my hand but still ready to kill him.

With a sigh, he released Sam and Dean. "They can take care of Gabriel, but we need to discuss something."

"Whatever you have to say to me, it can be said in front of them too."

"Such a loyal sap you are. Okay, let me rephrase. We have an issue called the Mother of All is not even ten minutes from here, and I'm rather partial to staying alive and I assume you are as well, so why don't we stop bickering and start bloody _figuring out what the hell to do_!" he yelled, looking more frenzied and panicked than I'd ever seen a demon get.

"Not without my brothers."

"Are all of you angels so sodding sentimental? Good grief, you're like Hallmark cards with wings," he said exasperatedly.

"Why are you even running from the Mother of All? You're one of her precious little children, she wouldn't lay a finger on you," Sam said bitterly.

"That's where you're wrong, Moose. I am _Lucifer's_ creation. She cares for her children and her children alone. She's going to wipe out the demons right along with the humans."

"First you were running from Luci, now the Mother of All…you really can't win for losing with the parental figure thing, can ya?" Gabriel piped up, the words slightly cracked with pain.

"Tell me about it," Crowley sighed, ignoring the sarcasm.

"Fine. We'll talk. Sam, Dean, stay with Gabriel," I said flatly, fingering the blade tucked into my slacks.

"But Cas-"

I cut Dean off. "I can handle this."

We shared a look, and he saw must have seen the determination in my eyes. He shot me a look that said _Be careful. _I gave him the smallest of reassuring smiles in return. Knowing this would be a conversation that needed to be held in private, I put a hand on the demon's arm and transported us to a desolate area of a nearby park. I withdrew my hand as soon as we were there, not wanting to be in contact with him for any longer than necessary.

"What do you want, Crowley?" I asked as we walked.

"To make a deal."

I smiled bitterly. "A crossroads demon making a deal…I believe that humans would call that irony in its finest."

"Mock me all you please, but we're all in danger. And that enchanted blade of yours isn't going to do anything but piss her off."

"Not only did Michael relay the information, but Sam also did research and it lined up with what Michael told us," I replied confidently.

"Well he's wrong."

"Give me one good reason to trust you, an Abomination, over my own brethren."

"Because I've interrogated a number of Alphas, and it just so happens that one of them knew how to kill her. They also gave me the location of Purgatory."

He paused, and I motioned for him to continue. He complied. "After I cut out their internal organs and stacked them in a nice, neat little pile, they gave me a spell. The certain Skinwalker was French, but I translated," he explained. He recited the spell, his accent thickening with the foreign language. "_La mère doit être abattu par un guerrier de l'enfer et un serviteur de Dieu."_

I murmured the translated version under my breath, the pieces slowly falling into place. _"The Mother shall be felled by a warrior of Hell and a servant of Heaven."_

"Now do you understand why I'm here?" he asked, glancing over at me.

"You came to us because you cannot kill her alone. You need our help."

"And you need mine. You help me, I help you, we go our seperate ways. Simple as that."

"So the Mother can only be killed by an angel and a demon…" I muttered to myself, perplexed. Why would Michael lie about how to kill her? I wouldn't be trusting Crowley so easily if it wasn't for the fact I knew that he genuinely wanted her dead.

"Exactly. And that's not all. After I cut off the Skinwalker's arms and legs, iy proceeded to tell me what to kill her with. _Et elle doit mourir de la main de l'arme forgée dans les cendres du purgatoire."_

"And so she shall die at the hand of the weapon forged in the ashes of Purgatory," I translated aloud. "So this means…"

He smiled as if the prospect pleasured him, or at the very least excited him. "This means we have to enter Purgatory."

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"Why is it taking so much longer for you than it did with Cas?" Dean asked Gabriel.

"I'm an archangel," he said, wincing. The pain had been going from a dull ache to excruciating, and then back again. Right now it was somewhere in the middle.

"Hello again, boys," Crowley greeted as he and Cas appeared in the room.

"Sam, come with me, I believe I will be needing your research expertise," Cas said, and I blushed a little at the compliment. It's not everyday an Angel of the Lord comments you on your researching skills.

"Dean, keep an eye on the snarky abomination," he added, deadpan.

"Sweet talk me some more, darling," Crowley said sarcastically.

Cas ignored the demon, and while I was reluctant to leave Gabriel, I still followed Cas out into the hallway. He looked tired and haggard, the end result leaving him to look like an average worn out human. I wasn't sure what was wrong, but I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, and he accepted the small gesture gratefully.

"Michael lied to Gabriel. While I do not trust Crowley as far as I can metaphorically throw him, he very much wants the Mother of All dead, and he has the information we need."

I blinked, astonished. I hadn't been expecting any of that. "So how do we kill her?"

"The information given to him by a Skinwalker was fairly ominous, but it seems to be factual. 'The Mother shall be felled by a warrior of Hell and a servant of Heaven, and so she shall die at the hand of the weapon forged in the ashes of Purgatory.'"

"So the blessing of that blade was for nothing?"

"Seemingly."

"Great," I sighed, raking my fingers through my hair. "But what weapon? And how can she be killed by an angel _and_ a demon?"

"That's where you come in. We need to know what kind of weapon needs to be forged, how to safely access Purgatory without becoming trapped, and how Crowley and I can kill her. Ask Robert for assistance if need be."

"What are you going to be doing?"

"If there's anyone that knows about weapons, it is an angel I once fought with. I feel his grace nearby, apparently he's been hiding here on Earth. Heaven thought him to be dead."

"Who is he?"

"His name is Balthazar."

"_For all of the times we've stopped, for all of the things I'm not_

_Oh, we put one foot in front of the other_

_We move like we ain't got no other_

_We go where we go_

_We're marchin' on, marchin' on."_


	26. If You Knew An Eclipse Was Coming

**Author's Note:**

**I know, I know, another late update! I'm sorry. The evil writer's block bunny is stalking me, and I'm trying to make it leave me alone so I can finish this fic! Anyways, I would like to dedicate this chapter to cupcakeattack123, who is great to have PM chats with and shares my love of Cas' wings! Lyrics are from Follow The Leader by Matthew Ryan.**

**Huggles and thank yous to all of my amazing readers that have so wonderfully not decided to abandon me, I love all of you!**

* * *

"_It's follow the leader, baby_

_That's how it's gonna be_

_If you ever really wanna get lost then follow me_

_Follow the leader."_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"Fine, we'll go with you to Purgatory after we figure out what weapon that spell is talking about, but not until Gabriel's merging is over," I said to Crowley, crossing my arms defiantly.

He clapped, sarcasm practically radiating from his movements. "Moose stays loyal to his pet angel. Cookie for you."

"Assbutt," Cas growled.

At that, Crowley stared at him briefly before the demon pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and sighed deeply. "First I was reduced to enlisting humans to kill Lucifer, then I came to an _angel_ for assistance in killing the Mother of All, and now I just got called an _assbutt_, which makes _no_ bloody sense," he ranted quietly. "I think I need a glass of Craig."

"Aw look, our favorite demon's having himself a midlife crisis," Dean quipped.

"We should not be fighting," Cas interrupted. "Sam, work on the research I assigned you. Dean, keep an eye on Gabriel. Crowley, shut up."

"Yes _mom_," Dean muttered.

I was about to start the research as Cas told me to, but a searing pain ripped through me just as Gabriel screamed aloud. I fell to my knees, feeling like someone was shredding my spine with a razor knife. Of all the injuries I'd endured as a hunter, not once had I felt pain this intense. It was the most terrible sensation to ever take hold of my body.

But it wasn't my pain that I pitied. Everything I felt through the bond was muffled, so to speak, meaning Gabriel was probably in three times as much pain as I was. My mind was clouded by both agony and sympathy, two emotions that I'd never felt at the same time. I groaned as I fell onto my side.

"Sammy what the hell's wrong?" Dean asked hurriedly.

"Easy there mate, you might pull something," Crowley said with his usual snark. "I can feel Gabriel's grace in Sam, and it's merging with Sam's body just as it's merging with Gabriel's. But our dearest Sammy is human, meaning he might just make it through the process without needing a pacifier. Unlike some of us in the room," he added, glancing pointedly at Gabriel.

Dean lunged recklessly for the demon, but Cas held him back.

"Dean, no. I profoundly regret having to say this, but we need him."

Dean's eyes burned angrily, but one look at Cas and they softened fractionally. Lately Cas had been the only one that could get Dean calmed down when he was angry. Though it wasn't as literal as what Gabriel and I had, they shared an intense, close bond. Their eyes met and held, and when Dean nodded, Castiel released him.

"Sam can mentally check in with Gabriel through the bond, you keep an eye on Crowley," he said, and my brother gave a brief nod before continuing to fix the demon with a death stare.

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

Part of me feared Dean would kill Crowley in my absence, but anymore the hunter listened to me when I gave him orders. He absolutely detested orders, and I was the only one that he would take them from. Leaving only a quiet rustling noise in my wake, I transported to where I'd felt the lingering of Balthazar's grace. It had been a shock to say the least when I'd detected his presence. I'd thought him to be dead and grieved him.

"Balthazar, I feel your grace. I know you are here."

"Hey there Cas. Long time no see."

I looked over my shoulder at the sound of his vessel's voice. The vessel was lean, with short blond hair and pale blue eyes. His voice had a faint trace of a British accent. I walked towards him, relief and anger warring for dominance in my mind. I'd thought him to be dead, yet here he stood, alive and well. Apparently it hadn't crossed his mind that I might just want to know he was alive.

"Balthazar," I greeted flatly.

"Hi Cassie."

"Don't call me that," I snapped.

"What, your pet humans can call you Cas and I can't call you Cassie? That must be rather demeaning, the name those humans gave you. You _do_ have a full name," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"I am well aware of that. Now enough with the pleasantries. I need your help." I considered demanding to know why he'd let me believe he'd been dead for so long, but I currently had larger concerns.

He rolled his eyes and sprawled out across the large bed in the swanky hotel room I'd found him in. His limbs were lazily draped over the bed in a way that reminded me of a cat. Not like Huntress, more like a lion reminding other animals that they were on his territory and his alone.

"Cas I can't count the times we fought together, it's the least I can do. Ask anything."

"I can sense the presence of Heaven's weapons concealed here. I need them."

"Ask anything but _that_."

"What do you know how about the Mother of All?"

"She's an ancient basket case that created all the evil things your pet humans hunt."

"I have a way to kill her, but I think the weapon I need may be in your possession."

"I'll give you anything but the weapons."

He wasn't counting on the fact I was now practiced in combat. Gabriel had taught me and Dean had even shown me a few things along the way. For centuries I'd known how to defeat my opponents with my blade, but now I had an extensive list of things I could do. I didn't wish to harm my former ally, but he was leaving me no other choice.

"Give me the weapons."

He sighed. "I think I already gave you the answer to that."

"I don't like your answer," I responded coldly, waving my hand to pin him to the bed without even touching him.

"I see you've got a couple of new tricks up your sleeve."

I smirked like I'd seen Dean do a number of times. "I suppose."

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

_So how do you think Cas' little angel hunting mission's going? _I sent to Sam when the pain faded briefly.

_He hasn't come back yet, so I assume either very good or very bad, _he replied from where he sat in front of his laptop.

_I hope he's okay…_

_Don't worry Gabriel, Cas is tough, he can take care of himself._

_Yeah, our little Cas is pretty badass, huh?_

I looked over and saw him smiling. _He learned from the best._

_I'll take that as a compliment, Sammy._

_It's Sam!_

_Okey dokey, Sammy._

_Jerk._

_Dork._

_You were supposed to call me bitch._

_Huh?_

_Never mind._

I laughed and closed my eyes to enjoy the few moments of peace I had before the pain would start again. The merging was close to over, but not quite. If I was estimating correctly then it still had another day or so. I was surprised that the room was so quiet. After all, it's not every day that a demon, a human and an archangel can all be in the same proximity of each other without killing each other.

As is my thoughts had prompted him to speak, Crowley said, "You lads really need to start getting better motel rooms. I get the creeps just being in this little hellhole. Which is saying something, you know. I was born and raised in Hell."

"Shut up Crowley," Sam and I snapped in unison.

The demon shrugged calmly. "Just saying, if you're going to live out of a suitcase then you might as well be classy about it."

"It's a duffel bag," Sam muttered.

"Oh because that makes it all the better," Crowley said, his voice dripping sarcasm.

I was going to spit a retort at him, but Cas appeared in the middle of the room, a rather disgruntled looking blond angel at his side. The former was smiling slightly in triumph, yet another habit he'd picked up from Dean. The angel next to him gave us bitter smiles, and I immediately recognized his grace.

"Hey there Balthy."

"Ah, nice to see you Gabriel."

"Oh yay, another Hallmark card with feathers," Crowley muttered.

"Balthazar has some valuable information" Cas said with a glint in his eye that said Balthazar hadn't _willingly_ given up said information.

"Here's the issue, boys. You can't_ all _go marching into Purgatory. Only a demon can keep you concealed, and he'll be doing good to manage keeping one of you from being seen and killed, let alone the whole lot of you," the angel explained. "And that's not all. I happen to know a good bit about weapons, and while I don't have the exact one you need to kill the Mother, I have one with the material you need. Bronze. It can be melted down and re-forged in Purgatory."

"So what you're saying is that Cas and Crowley have to go in alone," Sam said gravely.

Balthazar sighed and raked his fingers through his messy, short blond hair. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

"_Now you can follow your gut_

_Or you can follow the past_

_But if you knew an eclipse was coming_

_Why'd you even ask?"_


	27. I'll Make It Feel So Much Better Tonight

**Author's Note:**

**Another day late update, I know I am making a very bad habit of this! I only have a couple chapters left before I start my Gabriel/Cas brotherly fic that Susangel gave me the idea for, and my one-shot writing won't leave me alone! I keep getting ideas that demand they be written out.**

**I'm in a hurry to get this posted, so this A/N won't be as long as usual. Lyrics are from Illuminated by Hurts.**

**On with the belated chapter now :P**

**P.S. Suzy, thanks again for helping me with writer's block! I wouldn't have been able to finish this chapter without your help :D**

* * *

"_Don't be afraid of tomorrow_

_Just take my hand, I'll make it feel_

_So much better tonight."_

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

I lost track of how long I argued with Sam, Dean, and Gabriel about Crowley and I going to Purgatory alone. I was pretty sure it had been just over an hour, and I'd finally convinced them it was the only way. Dean had been the most difficult to convince. Crowley was leaning against the wall, his ever-present glass of Craig in his hand, watching the proceedings with a mixture of boredom and amusement.

"Crowley and I must go now. We have the weapon and we are fairly certain of Purgatory's location."

Dean walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder, eyes softening and seemingly wanting to say something emotional and affectionate, but since there were to many people around to mock him about it later, he simply said, "If you don't come back alive, I will summon your spirit and kick your scrawny white ass."

"Thank you, Dean." I knew that was his way of telling me to be careful.

"Please come back alive Cas, I don't want to have to deal with Winchester Squared bitching and moaning if you snuff it," Gabriel said.

A small smile played at my lips. "I will keep that in mind, brother."

"Be careful, Cas," Sam said.

"I will, thank you Sam."

"While this heartfelt farewell is touching me to my charred, blackened core, I would fancy we get going if you don't mind too terribly," Crowley sighed, downing the last of his scotch and sitting the glass down on the small table next to him.

"Fuck you Crowley," Dean spat.

"Happily darling, but if you wanted some that badly you could have been more polite about it."

Sam sighed. "I thought you were straight."

The demon raised an eyebrow, his brown eyes sparkling with amusement. "Hello, King of the Crossroads? After you spend most of your life kissing both genders, you get used to a little versatility."

"Great, I'm letting Cas go into Purgatory with nothing but a prissy bisexual demon for protection. Awesome," Dean muttered.

"Thank you for worrying, but we really must be going now," I said, giving my three brothers grateful parting looks before disappearing from the room.

I found myself on the edge of a large rock fixture. Below me it looked like nothing but bottomless space, lit by what seemed to be fire. A few moments later, the demon appeared next to me, and my grace prickled when it sensed the invisible hellhound standing at his side. His hand rested on the back of its neck, stroking it like a human would a beloved pet.

"Why are we in need of your…animal?" I asked, briefly fumbling for a word to describe the awful beast.

"First of all, her _name_ is Elizabeth, you asshole. Second of all, you really think we can make it out of there alive without protection?"

"You named your hellhound?"

"They happen to make wonderful pets."

"I prefer cats."

"They shed too much. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a suit clean when a cat keeps shedding on it?"

"I take it invisible dogs can't shed?"

"They're invisible to _you_. Only demons can see them. But Elizabeth's shorthaired, she doesn't shed."

Part of me was sorely tempted to bang my head into a nearby wall (a destructive but effective human mannerism I'd picked up) because I was having a rational conversation with a _demon_. An _abomination_. It was my sworn duty to kill all of his species, yet here we were, discussing our pets. Unbelievable.

"Shall we?" he sighed, peering down at the pit below us.

"We do not have a choice."

My wings unfurled from my back and spread out, preparing for the entrance to Purgatory. The demon's eyes turned solid black, his true form showing through just as mine was. I would never admit it aloud, but against all odds, I felt an abnormal allegiance to the sarcastic, British demon. I despised his race with all that was in me, yet I still felt an irrational trust towards him. I blamed it on my overexposure to humans.

Moments later…I found myself in Purgatory.

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Sam, would you stop trying to get up? You know you shouldn't be trying to move," I scolded.

He dropped his head back on the pillow. Gabriel's merging was sucking the life out of him. The archangel had fainted at some point, leaving Sammy exhausted and on the verge of also passing out. He was just barely clinging to consciousness. I paced, worrying about Sam, Gabriel, and Cas all at once. Talk about tiring. Worrying yourself sick over three people's one hell of a job.

"Sammy, you need anything?" I asked as I pulled a beer out of the fridge.

When I didn't get a reply, I turned to see him fast asleep. Great. My little brother and my surrogate little brother were passed out, my _other_ surrogate little brother was in Purgatory with a dickhead demon, and I was here and unable to a damn thing to help any of them. Gee, way to go Dean! I was doing a real _super_ job of keeping my family safe.

I sat down at the desk and pulled out my faithful list. I noticed that at the bottom, in pristine handwriting that could only belong to Cas, was a seventh item. He wanted to get me on _Twitter_, of all things. The international site for men that have given up any hopes of masculinity. It surprised me that Sam wasn't president and founder of the damn thing.

I closed my eyes, praying not to God but to my angel. _Cas, please come back to me alive…I need you._

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

I winced as I heard Dean, loud and clear.

Though we didn't have the same telepathic bond that our brothers did, I could still hear him when he prayed to me directly, even in Purgatory. This place repulsed me down to my very core. It was made of nothing but screams and blood and fire. I used to believe that Hell was as bad as it got, but know I knew I was wrong. Purgatory was the truest form of torture.

The faces of every demon I had ever encountered passed me. She was quickly drug back into the flames, but Ruby snarled and lunged for me as I walked by her. When demons died they obviously went to Purgatory wearing the same vessels they had died in. Blood matted her raven black hair, but I felt no pity for her. This was the evil wretch that had corrupted and betrayed Sam Winchester; an act I found unforgivable.

There was a low growl from Crowley's left, and I glanced at him questioningly. "It's Elizabeth. She doesn't like this place anymore than we do."

"I would have thought that a hellhound would find itself at home in Purgatory."

"She's a _hell_hound, not a Purgatory hound. Idjit."

"I believe you have spent too much time in the company of Robert Singer."

He smiled wryly. "Apparently."

We continued making our way through the fire and pools of blood until we finally reached something that looked remotely promising. It was an enormous spiral of fire that was easily three times as tall as I was. Countless mounds of ashes surrounded it. It fulfilled the prophecy perfectly. I glanced over at Crowley, who seemed to also think we'd found what we were in search of.

"Ladies first," he said, motioning to where I held the bronze blade Balthazar had given me.

I pointedly ignored the intended insult. Anxiety caused my wings to tense behind me as I stepped forwards, the blade held out before me. The demon walked at my side, his hellhound presumably next to him. The sound of screaming evil creatures and Elizabeth's low growls filled my ears as I plunged the bronze sword into the flames.

I was unprepared for the blinding flash that struck my eyes.

"_Suddenly my eyes are open, everything comes into focus_

_We are all illuminated _

_Lights are shining on our faces, blinding."_


	28. The Battle Wages On For The Toy Soldiers

**Author's Note:**

**Only two more chapters left after this one! I am going to be sad to part with this fic, but I am almost done with the first chapter of the Gabriel/Cas brotherly fic Suzy gave me a bunny for, so it's not quite so bad! The beginning scene and the Crowley/Cas friendship are requests/ideas by her, hope you like it Suz :D *Note to cupcakeattack123: I couldn't find a place for Ellen, Jo, and Ash in this one, but they will be in a few chapters of my next fic!* Lyrics are from Eminem's "Toy Soldiers."**

***hugs and chocolate for all***

**P.S. Try to find the Vampire Diaries quote ;-)**

* * *

"_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left _

_We all fall down like toy soldiers _

_Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win _

_But the battle wages on for the toy soldiers."_

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Dean, something's wrong," Gabriel said when he finally woke up.

"What?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "It's Cas. He's hurt."

Well he sure as hell had my attention by that point. I walked over, arms crossed, waiting expectantly. His fair skin was covered in a thin layer of sweat, and he rubbed his temples as if he had a headache. Sam was still sound asleep on the other bed.

"It's like when you know Sam's hurt. I have a really awful feeling."

"I swear if Crowley's let him get hurt…" I growled, slamming my hand into the wall. Ow.

"What's goin' on?" Sammy mumbled groggily.

"Something's wrong with Cas," Gabriel said.

The archangel pulled himself upright, amber eyes bright with worry. Sam was wearing his best scared, lost puppy expression. Right now I was torn between being scared to death that Cas was hurt and wanting to take Crowley and rip him into little tiny shreds. Both options were pretty damn appealing.

"We don't even know how to get to Purgatory, how the hell are we going to get to him?" Gabriel asked, panicking. The merging was almost over and leaving his emotions heightened; I remembered Cas telling me that happened.

"That's the thing…you don't."

I turned around at the sound of a slightly accented voice. Balthazar stood in the doorway, as immaculately dressed as ever. He'd disappeared shortly after Castiel and Crowley had left to go re-forge the sword. I looked for signs of sarcasm, but his eyes held nothing but grave sincerity.

"You actually think we're going to _trust_ Crowley? He's a demon!" Sam exclaimed.

"It's the only option you have," Balthazar snapped.

"No, hell no. I'll find a way to get to him," I said stubbornly.

"Only Crowley and Cas know the location of Purgatory. The only thing you can do is sit down, shut up, and _wait_," the angel ordered.

"I don't take orders from you," I retorted.

"You do until Cas gets back. He told me to keep you safe no matter what."

"I don't need a fucking babysitter!"

"Dean," Sam cut in. "I hate to say it, but maybe he's right. We're not doing Cas any good by sitting around arguing."

Sadly I knew he was right. Damn McNerdy for being the voice of reason. Anger flooding me, I again hit the wall, feeling the plaster crack slightly under the forceful blow. My entire body was tense with barely restrained worry and rage.

"Oh yes, because abusing the wall is doing _so_ much to help our dearest Castiel," Balthazar said sarcastically.

I ignored him and dialed Bobby, sighing in relief when he picked up after two rings. "Bobby, we have an issue. Cas is in Purgatory with Crowley, and Gabriel has a bad feeling."

"And good morning to you, little miss I'm-on-a-mission."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, hey, good morning. Now, about Cas."

"Son, I'm just as worried as you are, but what can we do for him without knowing where Purgatory is?" he asked wearily, the sarcasm draining from his tone.

I hung up and started pacing. When I got my hands on Crowley, he was going to die _slowly_.

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

The blade burned hot in my hand, and I dropped it without meaning to. My eyes felt like they were on fire. I was vaguely aware of someone grabbing my shoulders and hauling me out of the way as the fire sent sparks flying in all directions. Blackness surrounded me as I tried to regain my focus. It made no sense that all was dark; I could hear the sizzling from the fire, feel the heat of it right in front of me. It took me several moments to realize what had happened.

I was blind.

"I've got the blade, it's been re-forged, now let's get out of here," said a voice from behind me.

"Crowley, I cannot see anything."

The sigh of exasperation was audible. "Peachy."

An arm clamped around my waist to hold my body upright, and I reluctantly allowed myself to be pulled along. It was strange to rely on a demon to see for both of us. In spite of my worries, I was left with no other option but to keep one arm around his shoulders and hold on as he got us out of Purgatory. The blackness surrounding me was terrifying.

"Just hold on lad, we're almost out," he said as he pulled me along. "Well would ya look at that, the exit! Oh wait, you can't."

"Your sense of humor is not amusing."

"We really need to get that stick out of your ass, mate."

"I do not understand that reference."

He laughed quietly. "When we finally kill the Mother, we have really got to work on you. I think you could do with a glass of Craig and some decent modern entertainment."

"I have no desire to bond with an Abomination."

"Hate to break it to you, but I think at some point we already have."

He was right, as little as I wanted to admit it. We had at some point come to a mutual understanding of each other. There was no doubt in my mind that he was every inch a demon, but he was different somehow. He was an ally, maybe even a friend. _Dean_ _will be infuriated, _I thought as the air shifted around me.

"Cas, you're back!" I heard Sam say. Obviously I was back at the motel.

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked, and I felt him slide my arm from Crowley's shoulders and lay me out on a bed.

"Something malfunctioned when I melted down the blade; I believe I have temporarily been blinded."

"Crowley you son of a bitch!" he yelled.

When I heard the metallic sound of a blade being unsheathed, undoubtedly the one he used to kill demons, I got to my feet and felt my way around until I stood between them. I kept a hand on either of their chests both to keep the separated and to keep my balance. My left hand, the one resting again Crowley, tingled slightly. It was a result of my grace being agitated because I was in contact with a demon.

My right hand, however, was warmer. Warm and hypersensitive. I was acutely aware of the cotton tee shirt under my palm, and the taut muscles underneath. My senses were in overdrive because I was blind. Everything from the steady beating of Dean's heart to the silkiness of Crowley's tie was intensified.

"Cas, what can I do?" asked Gabriel, and his hand rested on my shoulder. I recognized it easily.

"Prevent my friends from killing each other."

Using the word "friends" was a very bad mistake.

"Friends! You're _friends_ with a fucking _demon_?" Dean spat furiously.

"He is not the sadistic and emotionless remnant of a human being that we believed him to be."

Heavily sarcastic, Crowley said, "Wow Cas, I think I just might cry."

"Well on the bright side, the merging is finally over," Sam said, trying to diffuse the coming argument.

"And oh boy it's good to be back on my feet! It was a pain in the ass not being able to manifest candy," Gabriel said. I didn't have to be able to see to know that he added a pout to the end of that sentence.

I felt Crowley stiffen under my hand. "I hate to break this up, but we have a small bit of a problem."

"What?" I asked, looking over in his direction out of habit.

"Apparently we're not going to have to find the Mother of All."

"Why not?" Sam questioned nervously.

The demon said four words before all Hell (figuratively speaking) broke loose. Right before every plan we'd worked so hard to map out went up in flames, he said four words in an uncharacteristically grave tone. Those four simple words had only a brief moment to elicit fear before the final battle well and truly began.

"…Because she found us."

"_I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure _

_Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders _

_I'm never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it."_


	29. Here By My Side, An Angel

**Author's Note:**

**Have I ever mentioned that I REALLY suck at writing action scenes? No? Well I do! I hate writing action scenes. I will stick to angst and fluff, thanks! This fic is almost over, and I am sad to part with it, but I am also eager to start on Get Out Alive! The prologue is already written and will be posted after the next chapter of this :D Lyrics are from Weapon by Matthew Good.**

**Don't kill me for this chapter and you can have Gabriel with a cherry on top ;-)**

* * *

"_Careful, be careful_

_This is where the world drops off_

_Where the world drops off_

_Careful, be careful_

_You breathe in and you breathe out_

_For it ain't so weird how it makes you a weapon_."

**Gabriel's P.O.V.**

"Oh bloody hell," Crowley said exasperatedly as creatures began filling the room.

"Hiya guys, welcome to the party!" I said, clapping my hands together.

A werewolf lunged for me, but I flicked one finger and reduced it to a pile of dust. I was even stronger than usual now that the merging was over. With a tiny rotating of my wrist, I beheaded a vampire that was trying to rip into Dean's neck. He shot me a grateful look before returning to battle.

"Calm down, children," said a high, clear voice from the center of the room.

We looked up from the now stilled creatures and into the Mother of All's cold eyes. A low growl sounded from the corner. Crowley's hellhound, presumably. Cas was staring sightlessly in the Mother's general direction. Our friendly resident demon curled his fingers around the hilt of the newly re-forged blade, his dark brown eyes becoming solid black.

"I'd offer to buy you a drink, but hey, even I have standards," Dean joked, standing up from where he'd been wrestling with a skin walker.

The Mother tossed her long hair over her shoulder. "Such a charmer you are, Winchester. I see where you get your reputation."

"What can I say? I'm a ladies' man."

"Well you won't be for much longer sweetie," she said.

Light emanated from her body as she raised her hand, simultaneously bringing all the humans in the room to their knees. Before I could stop him, Castiel tried to attack her, which only resulted in him being knocked across the room. He was back on his feet in an instant. I noticed Crowley reaching for the blade he and Cas had re-forged in Purgatory.

Apparently so did the Mother of All. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Well you're not me, are you lass?" he asked, twirling the blade between his fingers.

"I hate to destroy something so much like one of my own precious children, but sadly you just don't know when to stop," she replied.

Suddenly Crowley doubled over and sunk to his knees. Noises of pain escaped him as he collapsed onto his back, convulsing wildly. It was hard to tell because they were solid black, but I was fairly certain his eyes rolled back in his head. He looked like he was dying. He very well might be. His already fair skin was paling rapidly.

"What did you do to him?" Cas growled, somehow recognizing the noises of pain as Crowley's.

The Mother shrugged delicately. "Nothing much, just replaced somewhere around fifty percent of his blood with holy water."

I flung an arm across his chest to keep him from trying to attack her again. The last thing we needed was for him to get hurt worse than he already was. Right now our major issue was that we were in way over our heads. Crowley, Dean and Sam were all immobilized. We were just this side of royally screwed.

**Castiel's P.O.V.**

I could make out each individual presence in the room, recognize every single heartbeat. The two fastest belonged to Sam and Dean, who's hearts were accelerated with restrained fear. Gabriel's beat a few paces faster than usual, but he was remaining calm. He had to, given that he was the only one besides me that was still standing. Crowley's heartbeat was all over the place because he was a demon and not as adjusted to his vessel as angels were.

In the midst of it all, there was a strong, steady beat that was not one bit heightened. The Mother's. I could hear the calm thrumming of it from several feet away. The second calmest to hers was Balthazar's, who had just appeared in the room as well. I heard him mutter a quiet "What the hell is going on…" before he saw the Mother. I knew he saw her simply because he cut himself off.

"You're a right…bitchy little thing…" Crowley choked out.

"Thank you," she said with a smile.

"It wasn't a compliment darling."

"Such a feisty creature you are."

He spit out a mouthful of blood before smiling. "So I've been told."

He was calm. Too calm. If there was anything I knew about Crowley, it was that his top priority was survival. We both knew that him laying on the floor, holy water still powerful enough to hold him down as he made small talk with the Mother of All, was getting him nowhere. Not alone, anyways. I knew what he was doing. He was distracting her.

I willed the blade into my hand, feeling the hilt press reassuringly into my palm. It was up to me now. I'd heard Gabriel and Balthazar's noises of pain as she forced them to their knees, leaving only me to kill her. Of course she didn't bother immobilizing me, she most likely assumed that a blind angel could do no harm. That was her first mistake.

She strode over to Crowley and laid a hand to his forehead, presumably to kill him. Knowing my time was limited, I slowly crept up behind her. I projected a copy of myself several feet away so she would think I was still in her line of vision. My feet made no sound as I neared her.

With a smooth movement, I stabbed her deep in the back, cleanly severing her spine. The blade _almost_ reached her heart. She whirled around before the blow could take full effect. I still had the upper hand. She was injured severely. I pulled the blade from her back and prepared to make a second try at her heart, locating it by sound, but before I could react she took the blade and drove it into my stomach.

"Cas!" Dean screamed.

That was the last thing I heard before the room filled with blinding white light.

**Dean's P.O.V.**

When the Mother got injured, her hold broke on all of us. We were free to move again. I leapt to my feet, ready to finish what Castiel started. I didn't get very far. The sight before me held my body more immobile than any magic could ever hope to. Dizziness consumed me and threatened to take me under.

Cas was laying on his back, his massive black wings scorched into the ground below him. I knew what that meant. When an angel dies, truly dies, their wings are burned onto whatever surface is underneath them. Just like that…my heart shattered. My entire world fell apart at the seams. Castiel was dead. For good. There was no bringing him back this time.

"_You bitch!_" I screamed furiously. I was out for more than blood. I was out for fucking _vengeance_.

I fought to ignore the stinging in my eyes when I pulled out the knife and it was coated in my brother's blood. Nausea pooled in my stomach as a single drop of blood fell from the blade and splattered on the floor. Fury and pure, unadulterated grief warred in me as I prepared to make the final strike. A tear escaped my eye as I looked at Cas one more time.

The Mother didn't have the faintest chance to defend herself as I buried the knife in her chest, all the way through her heart, not stopping until it was through her back and she was held to the wall by it. I yanked it out and drove it in again, and again, and again. Her chest was soon in ribbons. I probably wouldn't have ever stopped viciously mutilating her had Sam not pulled me off.

"She's dead, Dean. It's over."

Dropping the blade, I felt tears make their way down my face. I saw that he too was crying. Soft sobbing came from the corner, and I turned to see it was Gabriel. Sam walked over and embraced the archangel, who folded himself into my brother's arms without hesitation.

Even Balthazar and Crowley looked pretty damn choked up. Heedless of the blood on the floor, I crawled over to Cas, staring down at him in shock. The vibrant, stunning blue eyes that had been beautiful even when he was blind stared blankly in death. There was no light, no signs of life. Just emptiness.

"I'm so sorry…"

"Sorry for what?"

I let out an embarrassing squeak that I would definitely deny later. "C-Cas?"

He blinked up at me, looking tired and weary. I saw Gabriel stiffen out of the corner of my eye. He stared at Cas, looking happier than I thought was possible in spite of the tears streaking his face. Sam had worn the same expression when I'd come back from Hell. I gathered Cas up into my arms and pressed my lips to the top of his head. A joy that I had never known before in my life filled me, so powerful that I closed my eyes to bask in the sheer warmth of it.

"We thought you were dead," I whispered.

"Balthazar taught me a thing or two about faking my death."

I said "Why the hell did you fake your death?" just as Gabriel screamed "You were in on this? You sorry son of a bitch, you are _dead_!" at Balthazar.

"Cas, you have got some serious explaining to do," I said. The attempt at intimidating was killed by the clear relief in my voice.

He smiled and snuggled deeper into my arms as Gabriel and Balthazar screamed at each other. "I know, Dean."

"_Here by my side, an angel_

_Here by my side, the devil_

_Never turn your back on me_

_Never turn your back on me, again_

_Here by my side, it's Heaven."_


	30. Carry On My Wayward Son

****This chapter has been done for three days, but ff hasn't been letting me post anything SPN! I will try to post Get Out Alive as soon as I can, but it's refusing to cooperate. Kiratoya, who writes some amazing stories that you should most definitely check out, has found a way to post chapters. When you click the story and it tells you error, go up to the URL and replace "property" with "content" to add another chapter****

**Author's Note:**

**Well, here it is. The end of May Angels Lead You In. I really don't think I can properly thank every single amazing reviewer! When I first posted this I had no idea I would meet so many wonderful people, but it turns out I have made some really great friends! Writing SPN has been so much fun, and I hope maybe some of you will stay with me during my next story, Get Out Alive. The prologue will soon be posted and the next chapter will be up either tomorrow or the next day. That fan fiction is dedicated to Susangel for the plot bunny!**

**I couldn't resist using Supernatural's song for the conclusion. Call me unoriginal, but the lyrics are from Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas. I miss when it was used on the "Road So Far" things :-(**

**Anyways, all of my love to the incredible people that have encouraged and supported me!**

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"_Once I rose above the noise and __confusion_

_Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion_

_I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high_

_Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man_

_Though my mind could think I still was a mad man_

_I hear the voices when I'm dreaming, I can hear them say…"_

**Sam's P.O.V.**

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You _knew_ Dean would kill the Mother?" I repeated.

Castiel nodded. "He is a fearsome creature when seeking vengeance."

"Well next time how about you give me some heads up before you fake your death?" Dean joked from behind the wheel of the Impala.

Cas brooded, missing the sarcasm. "That would defeat the purpose."

We were interrupted by Gabriel and Balthazar's arguing. At this point we were all crammed into the Impala, on our way back to Bobby's. Now that they were done fighting about Balthazar showing Cas how to fake his death, they'd moved onto arguing over who was Cas' favorite big brother.

"Of course Cas likes me best!" Gabriel insisted.

"Oh please," Balthazar scoffed. "I'm smarter, and better dressed, and he can clearly learn more from me than he can you."

Cas, who was between the bickering angels, sighed irritably. "I'm sitting right here, you could just ask."

He was ignored. The archangel and angel continued their debate over poor Castiel's head, who looked like he was ready to kill himself for real this time. Or hide under his trench coat at the very least. Dean chuckled quietly before turning on some classic rock music loud enough to drown out the bickering brothers.

"Remind me why I'm even coming with you mud monkeys?" Balthazar question some time later.

"'Cause I talked to Bobby, and he wants to meet you in person. Dean, um, told him about you," I explained, turning the music down so I didn't have to yell over it.

"Actually he just wants to wring your neck for helping Cas fake his death," Dean said.

The exasperated sigh could be heard even from the back seat. "Does _everyone_ love Cassie?"

I smiled. "Pretty much."

_So whatever happened to the snobby demon? _Gabriel sent.

_Cas got the holy water out of his system and sent him on his way, I guess. I was too busy making sure you hadn't got hurt to pay much attention to what they were doing._

_Yeah, thanks for caring Sammy._

I sensed genuine gratitude under the sarcasm. _You're welcome._

**Dean's P.O.V.**

"Hey old man, guess who's home!" I yelled as I walked through Bobby's front door.

"Oh look, it's the idjit brigade," he replied sarcastically.

I grinned. "The one and the only."

"So do you mind telling me what this asshole's doing here?" he asked, pointing in the direction of the backyard.

"Oh you've got be kidding," I groaned when I saw Crowley.

He was throwing what looked like a human bone, which was promptly carried back to him by the hellhound I couldn't even see. This was unbelievable. A _demon_ was playing _fetch_ with a _hellhound_ in a _hunter's_ backyard. The entire sentence was nothing but a flurry of interwoven contradictions.

"Hello Crowley," Cas said calmly.

"Took you lads long enough! I've been waiting here forever," he bitched.

"What the hell are you even doing here?"

"Aw Dean, you really know how to make a girl feel welcomed," he replied flippantly.

I turned to Cas for help, but he was crouched down…petting something. Oh c'mon! He was _petting_ a hellhound! I could only see his hand motions, not the dog itself, but it looked like he was now giving it a belly rub. Suddenly a bullet to the bran sounded like one hell of an awesome idea.

"What? Elizabeth likes him," Crowley shrugged.

Sam came out with Gabriel and Balthazar at his heels, only to stop short and causing them to run into his back. Sam gave me a questioning look, and I responded with a helpless shrug. If Cas wanted him here then we couldn't really smite the asshole. As tempting as it was.

I knew changing his mind was out of the question, so I settled for changing the subject.

"Alright everyone, come inside, I had Bobby order some stuff," I said.

Sam smiled; he was in on it. We went inside, and I tried not to be crept out by the sound of the hellhound's feet padding across the kitchen floor. Crowley looked way too at home in Bobby's house. Never, _ever_ had I thought I would be in the same room as a demon and not be trying to kill him.

"Cas, come here," I said, taking a box from Bobby.

He hesitantly walked over, and I smiled at him. "Awhile back, I called and had him call in a couple of favors to get some stuff."

When I extended the box, he took it and hesitantly opened it. The box wasn't particularly large, just big enough to hold its contents. He dug around and withdrew a small plastic rectangle. He studied the surface of it before smiling broadly. It was a smile he only wore when he was really and truly happy about something.

In his hands was an official ID. It read _Castiel Winchester. _I'd given him a random, generic birthday and made him thirty-six like Jimmy was. The angel ran his finger across it before stepping forward and hugging me. The gesture slightly took me by surprise, but I wrapped my arms around him and returned the hug briefly before pulling away.

"Thank you, Dean."

I smiled. "Yeah, don't mention it."

"Okay Gabriel, it's your turn," Sam said, holding up an identical box.

The archangel grinned like an excited child and opened the box, finding an ID that said _Gabriel Winchester _and an enormous lollipop that Sam had seen at a gas station and thought Gabriel would like. The former Trickster clapped his hands together happily. He didn't hesitate to leap at Sam, who laughed as he caught him.

Gabriel looked like he was crushing my brother's bones he was hugging him so hard, and I laughed amusedly when I saw that his feet were dangling off the ground. Cas leaned against my side and I wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He was now officially a Winchester. I figured I would remind him later that his fake birth certificate was in the bottom of the box.

"I think I'm going to hurl," Balthazar commented.

Crowley rolled his eyes and stroked Elizabeth. "Tell me about it."

"Oh, by the way, we have a visitor," Bobby said.

"Sam!" cried a thrilled female voice.

Gabriel barely had time to let go of my brother before Becky was curling her arms around Sam's waist. She let go and then came over to hug Cas, pulling him out from under my arm and into a tight embrace. Balthazar tried to escape her notice, but he too got one of her rib breaking hugs. The funniest part was when she hugged Crowley.

"I read all about you! You're the evil demon that befriended an angel and turned good!"

He stared down at the hundred some odd pounds of overjoyed fan girl that was currently clinging to his waist. "I don't think good's exactly the word for it…"

She squealed and tightened her grip. "Oh my god, you _do_ have the accent!"

"This is unbelievable," he muttered as she continued to ramble on.

"Well I hate to break up the party, but Sam wants to try out the camera he got for his birthday last year," Bobby sighed.

Sam disappeared and returned with a huge camera that had an even larger lens. I remembered getting it for him last year with a good portion of the money I'd made hustling pool. He'd wanted to try it out for some time now but hadn't been able to find the time. Now he had a large roomful of people to work with.

He set it on a timer while we got ourselves arranged. I stood with one arm around Cas' shoulders with Gabriel to my left. Between Gabriel and Becky was Sam, and on the other side of Becky was Crowley. Balthazar stood next to Cas with his arms folded over his chest. Bobby stood next to Crowley, clearly trying to keep as far away from the demon as possible without getting out of the camera's frame.

The timer went off, snapping a picture. Sam used his wireless printer upstairs to print it, and came back down to show it to us. And what a picture it was. Much as I hated to admit it, every single person in the photograph was part of Team Free Will in one way or the other. Even Crowley and Becky. The latter seemed to have a massive crush on the former.

It reminded me painfully of the picture we'd taken before Ellen and Jo had died, but they would want us to move on. I passed the picture back and forth with everyone, and knew that this was the start of something. Something more. Years ago, no one would have considered the possibility of a hunter standing in the same room as a demon, but here we were.

Somehow, we'd ended up as a family. All of us. We were insanely disjointed, but still a family. I still didn't completely trust Crowley or Balthazar, but I'd get there one day. It was pretty hard to hate them when Cas was so obviously attached to both of them. Then of course there was my angel, my virgin, trench coat wearing angel that could work puppy dog eyes even better than Sam could.

And yes, the little assbutt eventually convinced me to get on Twitter.

…

…

…

…

****Five Years Later - Third Person P.O.V.****

"Wake up Cas, Becky and Adam are here," Dean said, nudging the angel curled up against him. He'd never lost his cuddling fetish.

Cas grumbled sleepily but sat up, rubbing his eyes. They'd been up all night with Sam, forced to sit through his favorite movies. They'd watched Stonehenge Apocalypse three times before they finally called it a night and went to bed. The lead character did bear an uncanny resemblance to Castiel. The lead character's last words had also been "It…was…A ROBOT HEAD!" so that pretty much ruled out any relation to the angel. Castiel had some weird fetishes, but last Dean checked, robot heads wasn't one of them.

They wandered downstairs to find Adam playing video games with Sam, and Becky relentlessly flirting with the demon she'd never quite stopped obsessing over. She still hit on Sam sometimes, but she'd spent the past five years making moves on Crowley. She also spent a disturbing amount of time cuddling with his hellhound as well as Huntress.

Two years ago, Michael had hightailed it back to Heaven, leaving his empty vessel behind. Adam had sought out the Winchesters and done everything short of beg for forgiveness. The formerly headstrong man had been wrecked when he'd shown up. Before long, he'd bonded with Sam, and also with Gabriel, Castiel, and Crowley. Sometimes him and Dean got along, but not always.

Then of course there was Dean and Gabriel's constant arguing over who was the oldest brother. Gabriel would insist it was him because his ID read that he was several years older, but Dean would say he'd been a Winchester longer, meaning he was the oldest sibling.

As of currently, they were at it again. Crowley and Castiel were playing chess, something they did every weekend, and watching amusedly as the archangel and hunter bickered. Gabriel was now taking a new route, saying that he was technically hundreds of thousands of years old, so he was definitely older than Dean.

"Great, now all you need is a walking stick and receding hairline," Crowley commented.

"Oh shut up," Gabriel snapped.

"Make me."

"Fine!"

Cas ducked out of the way when Gabriel tackled the demon. Castiel promptly came and hid behind Dean. Sam was watching the proceedings with amusement, and Bobby was feeding leftover steak to Elizabeth. She was as much of a family pet as Huntress anymore. Crowley went back to his mansion sometimes, but he spent the majority of the time at the Singer house with Sam, Dean, Gabriel, Castiel and Bobby, all who officially lived there when not hunting.

Dean's list had finally been completed with the exception of Castiel losing his virginity. The angel simply hadn't fallen in love, and refused to give himself up until he truly cared for someone. Gabriel and Dean had both made gagging motions, but they both respected his wishes and stopped trying to throw women at him. Despite their different personalities and even their different species, they made the perfect family. They loved and trusted each other more than anyone else in the world.

And on the wall, in a frame, was the photo taken five years ago. The photo would remain there for many years to come.

"_Carry on my wayward son_

_There'll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest_

_Don't you cry no more."_


End file.
